Day 431 end Thank you brother! It's the grace of the Lord really, I don't have strong willpower at all lol. Quitting PMO is essential, but after it comes so much stuff to adjust in life, im sure it never ends. @Paul S. Really happy to have you back! @Redemptionisrequired congratulations!
15 days The Elven town of Rivendell greets your arrival. A Council of representants explains the path to Mordor in detail. You´re an Elf now. Another Elf here. Here are we again. It's feel's good to be back. Let's go. Again this was not easy this time around. @PeaceOnEarth108 I was wondering where you were. Glad to see your doing good and keeping up despite of less check ins Congrats on the proposal! The right way to go. @Redemptionisrequired Congrats on Grey Wizard brother! Once I reach there, I would still have to keep going further than standard reboot. Recap on what I said in yesterday's post on video games. Once you wipe, that is a reset. Once you die, it is a reset. Meaning you have to start all over again. Hard mode was based off of video games here. Since this is hard mode, I consider this to be Legendary mode if you played Halo. Or another like God of War is God mode (I haven't played the new one yet). Yes, this is exactly that. Few hits, your dead lol. Once you have relapsed, that is a wipe (reset). Start all over again. That sucks so much. I might do some more analogies on here relating to video games later on. Once, you break any of the rules, wipe. Back to Day 0. Any way, I hate losing here just as playing a video game on hard mode and such. Been there and done that in the past. So of course I'm doing this to my best of my ability. Not much of a game rager when I play online against other players. But I have played a single player campaign story mode on Hard mode & those were so frustrating. And I'm not letting no nay sayers get to me saying "Why you want to go to a longer streak?". My response is screw you. Maybe, I want to. Moving on. That's my rant for now. Elrond: You have only one choice. The Ring must be destroyed. In the council of Elrond at Riverdell and plans to destroy The One PMO Ring. Keep on going Fellowship!
Day 2: check in. Been watching a two hour lecture of Gary Wilson that's posted on Youtube. Very interesting and insightful. Really gives another dimension on why it is so important to stop PMO.
Day 2. I don't feel much better today. I couldn't fall asleep until 5 am. I was tempted to repeat the deed with the thought "It's only day 1, so who cares". But somehow I cared and, luckily, didn't pmo. My motivation to do anything is close to 0. But that doesn't mean I don't have to push through. Already did 4 chores today and despite 0 motivation I will go to libraries to do something. I guess the thought of not wanting to starve to death can also be considered as motivation. We all need moneys. Returning to the topic of hard modes. The differences of states of minds can be immense. Reminds me of tv moviefilm series (I don't remember the name), where the guy used to video-record himself after taking the drug, so he could warn himself of what's waiting. Maybe I should record myself on camera after relapse, so that I could say that it's not worth it. I think, no... I would forget to watch it anyway. I have so much safety mechanisms, but I forget most of them before relapse.
Checking in Fellowship Friends! 91 Days Free of PMO. A bit of restless sleep last night, I had quite the active mind and I believe I spent a little too much time watching TV ( I actually finished LOTR The two tower extended yesterday) because I took advantage of the holiday. It's okay, I will rectify this, today I take some rest through meditation. Still going to workout and I also have work afterwards. Stay Strong! @nerdy_owl and @Paul S. Remember brothers, try your best to analyze what lead you down the road of relapse. A prevention plan is important. @Paul S. Happy to see you on the forums. @PeaceOnEarth108 Thank you brother and right back at you! Congratulations on your proposal, momentous occasion. @Kairose Thank you brother! Keep setting the path for us. @LLOYYD Thank you brother! Yes, I mention in my 90 success story that a 90 day reboot is a lie. It takes more time than that and the intention to quit for good needs to be there. @nerdy_owl and @Paul S. Remember brothers, try your best to analyze what lead you down the road of relapse. A prevention plan is important. @PeaceOnEarth108 Thank you brother and right back at you! Congratulations on your proposal, momentous occasion. @Kairose Thank you brother! Keep setting the path for us. @LLOYYD Thank you brother! Yes, I mention in my 90 success story that a 90 day reboot is a lie. It takes more time than that and the int 91 days – The Gate is closed but Gollum reveals there´s a secret entrance to Mordor. With a sigh of relief you turn south on the borders of Ephel Dúath, the Mountains of Shadow.
Day 167 Dear champions, My college was started the academic stuffs yesterday. Now I am struggling with lot of hard questions in academic stuff. I'm sure I will come and check my second Home (Lord of the ring challenge ) . If I miss any of post of yours , Please forgive me brothers. But Don't worry , I'm stay here and check every day.
Your welcome! Yes, I think I would have to agree even if I haven't reached there yet. I believe it is a great start for everyone before going further more on a streak. I think I might have come across it somehow while looking in the success stories section. I don't remember. I need to read and check out soon when I get the chance.
1 day. Had a slip yesterday. No biggie. Doing all I can. Super tired from work. I got this. Never going to give up.
I just can't believe what happened Lesson learned: Don't ever dare to be woked up when in sleepy state and urges are at peak. It had happened previously too, I was sleepy but was pushing myself not to sleep, the urges were very much more dangerous in sleepy state, I already knew it but I ignored this, the problem repeated itself ;-; Do I only decrease my counter by half because it was like 30% my mistake and 70% my subconscious
2 days Low urges yesterday, worked almost all day and I thougth that I had the flue, but I was wrong. Today I worked out and took a cold shower(today the water was really cold) Keep strong my brothers.
Day 35 Always a hard area of the challenge for me. Urges are starting to get fairly high again. I know I can do it though.
You will never grow until you learn to take %100 accountability. It is %100 on you whether you are successful or not. Keep fighting, the counter doesn't matter that much. You still have only once in 22 days which is pretty amazing.
Day 12 no PMO. Fly home from vacation today so soon life will be back to normal. As I have mentioned previously I do tend to struggle with depression right after a vacation so I’ll try to keep my spirits up.
Day 18 no PM checking in. I’m feeling pretty good. Starting to notice a bit more mental clarity and ability to hold my attention. Still get impulses but yesterday they weren’t as strong, or I was able to handle them better.
Thanks for the appreciation, at the end of the day, it was me who refused to sleep for the sake of study and allowed myself to experience sleep Inertia, the initiation was solely done by me I will accept this guilt and stand up again from the heavy shock I experienced few hours before and learn more and more. If this life be easy than everyone would be successful, but no, if he wants to be successful, he definitely will face lots of unwanting emotions and experiences, but the prize he will get is priceless.
Day 16 -Touched by your bravery, the gentle Elves of Rivendell give you an elven cloak. The cloak has a hood and is fastened by a green brooch. It acts as camouflage when PMO units are around. Quest Item - Elven Cloak Back to the grind. Moving onward in the journey to Mordor. Starting the series & watching The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey on the go when I can. All extended edition since I own them. Should I buy UHD on digital? Should I buy the 3D version (digital) since I have a VR headset to watch into? Still thinking about it. Reminder to myself, not to worry because challenge will always come my way here on this journey. Don't say it like Theoden in the Battle of Hornburg Gym sooner or later. Read and such. These Elven cloaks will aid me to camouflage from PMO forces around. Keep on going Fellowship!
