Thank you brother. but brother I have to go long journey.. I think this will be very boring to read.In briefly year 2018 I watched first p**n video due to bad friend's advices. I didn't know it is a good or bad . But finally I addicted to p videos. I pay lot of money to get Internet cards to watch them. After several years, I realized that my problem solving skills and my strength were being decreased due to that stuff. But I couldn't manage watching p stuff. Finally I got low marks in exams . Then I considered that the darkside of porn . You know brothers, We can't stop watching p in one day. Because I was addicted to it. And finally I stopped watching p videos. But I was addicted to p games. P games are very dangerous than watching p stuffs . Because Video games are interesting and addictive. And porn also. So when the P games ( P + games ) are highly addictive than drugs. That was my silly decision so don't do that brothers. After that, On one day, I decided to stop watching p stuff. because of it, lol I watched Baki The grappler film. And I realized that Strength is the most important thing to us. And I watch lot of youtube videos about How to stop watching p. And I found information about this website. First ' I read the whole Nofap magazine. I think When we join to Nofap website , They send us it to our mail box. Finally I changed my lifestyle. I changed my vision. I watched Lot of bodybuilding Stuff instead of watching p. You know Watching Body building stuff all the day in youtube is a time wasting thing but finally I survived my first day . Wow it was a huge victory for me. After that I joined small Gym due to financial problems. Working out is not only help my body but also in Nofap. After that I reduced watching Yt videos daily. And I thought What do i do in My future . I followed some courses too. Another Big help was ZYZZ brah's motivational videos. I watched them and I thought Why did I slave to this free P stuff. I always worked with my sister. So that I didn't have enough time to watch P. And This is my story in short. Final words , Keep Playing the Game. Never give up brothers
@CALM IN SUFFERING @daddyG1981 @PeaceOnEarth108 Guys, be realistic! Probability that you'll die sooner than your wife is much higher. I worked in insurance company for 4 years. Trust me. People want equality, but nature and statistics show that insurance pricing for men and women should be different. My boss joked that if I want to die together with my wife, I should get seven years older than me. Hm... Maybe that's not too bad - to be a sugar baby to some very rich older woman. Summa summarum, you are doing really louzy job selling me marriage right now. Jokes aside, I thank you for your honesty. Addicts are often compulsive liars. Honesty, stopping lies (especially to ourselves) is what pushes us to progress. You seem to be realising this too.
back to 0. It's ok. Was not to hardcore P. I am able to set the filter level on covenant eyes. I had it set to normal. I searched for stuff on youtube. Found some soft stuff and mo'd to it. Lesson learned. I set it to strong blocking. It puts restriced mode on youtube and other things. I took it off. The strong blocker stayed on for awhile after I changed it. I will have to see if I can't get the account admin to set himself as the filter manager. Hopefully the fact that it takes awhile to turn it off will be enough to keep me away until I can get somebody else as filter manager. I can't change it. Have to get ahold of my account admin. I won't be seeing family again for a couple months. I might have to avoid talking to them on the phone for awhile too. They are very triggering for me. I need comfort after talking to them or spending time with them. My weekend with them was a major cause of this fall. I need to pray that God heal what my family did to me. I know he will. Was watching a podcast on youtube the other day. Talked about the importance of a half hour of silence every day. If I am going to make any habit, that should be the one to make. I am going to start doing that today. This has to stick. Maybe I can eventually make it longer.
10 days Low urges yesterday. Trying to focus in my work and to increase my concentration time. Today I worked out and took a cold shower. Keep strong my brothers.
I'm reading rebooting material again after a long time not doing so. I feel better reading it, and I want to finish the Soaring Eagle pdf I have.
Happy that my cold got over finally but during the time I have been binge watching series and have started eating unhealthy food and all. Now its going to be a really difficult task to get rid of these habits.
@daddyG1981 @PeaceOnEarth108 @Paul S. Thank you for the encouragement. I feel that confessing is a great tool to fight our addictions. We post here every day and there is a reason we do it, we want to get rid of addiction. And it seems to me that when I stop confessing about my temptations and fights with PMO I also fight it less. So if we are tempted every day and are fighting every day, we should write about it every day. That's what most of us are doing, but I miss out on it some days . And also I feel that the confessions should sometimes go deep as our temptations are coming from deep inside. Again I am not saying that you are not doing that Edit: but I don't yet know when is the right time to rejoice victories, or how to do it right, because it makes us proud, which makes us weak.
End of day 11 In the mornings I am tempted to look at google images with certain naked female body parts. For now I just don't do it. Maybe because I know that it's just as bad as watching actuall P. Maybe because I don't have the time
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master; If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; Kipling what this means is don’t over react to victories and get proud, or to defeats and give up up. It’s all about the process. We’ve never truly won, and we’ve never ever been defeated…. Because there is always tomorrow. agree 100% with the importance of writing things down and opening up. Even if you just wrote it down on a piece of paper for yourself and then don’t show it to anyone - it’s gets it out your head and helps you reflect and process what your mind is doing.
Day 32 checking in no PM. had some really disturbing dreams last night that I was cruising around in my car looking at girls and fapping. Don’t think I’ve ever had a fapping dream before. I’ve had lots of sex dreams etc but never this (that I can recall). Woke up very triggered. Wrote it down. Walked the dog. Big black coffee. some heavy deadlifts. Went for a shower. Kissed my wife and kids when they woke up. my advice to others if you have a dream like that, when you wake up, even if it’s at 5am…. Get your ass out of bed and start your day. Don’t lie there. You’ll just ruminate and possible fall. win the morning win the day
