4 days. All is well. Watched a video of Dr. Trish Leigh that someone shared on here a few days ago. A few days ago. Just kept forgetting to add this into my check in. She said that we will do things better when off porn. It damages our brain. I have noticed that. My singing gets way better when I get a week or two behind me. When I was on my 42 day streak my singing voice was so much better. That is good motivation for me. Knowing I will much easier reach my full potential when I kick this habit. It makes sense. PMO overstimulates the brain and fries it. I am far more social too when I am getting good streaks. This is good. I have high hopes and I am finally starting to believe it is good to have high hopes.
End of day 8 I did receive some relief from my wife yesterday evening, but at night I had a dream with sex in it so I don't feel any easier this morning. I have a big desire to look for some sexy images on google. I will have to stay mindful this weekend.
Crash Analysis of Relapse: stopped checking in here at start of summer as I had made strong decisions to quit and move on with my life and felt like reading about others' relapses wasn't always helping Forgetting priorities prioritised sport events & training hard over all else over confident and proud stopped doing any charity work work started to get v busy took a holiday - felt I deserved to act out and felt that was the only way to true relaxation - only way to recharge mini relapse but used will power only after and did not come back here Anxiety An old wise friend of mine is returning to our village in the next few months after having been away for years and I am growing anxious at how little I've progressed (or how much I've regressed) since he's been gone mini relapse eroded my self confidence and made me question if my decisions are real work getting busier stress increases Speeding up I decide to just put my head down and plough through it got accelerated - motor mouth worried that I was getting worse not better over exercised to compensate not able to relax Ticked off started getting into arguments pushing training and work too hard at same time isolating and pushing others away Exhaustion hit exhaustion on the Faster scale got sick for 3 wks but had to keep working admin fell off a cliff untidy house stopped tracking financials Signed up to a steaming service again to help "relax" Triggered by scenes on some films (stopped using commonsensemedia) Chase after nocturnal emissions Fishing (back of my mind told me I deserved it due to all I had been through - neglecting to notice that majority due to myself) Relapse then goto P Back on track using willpower for 4 weeks Then relapsed again stopped for 1 week relapsed again but this time keeping me up til 4am with an 8am appointment next day stopped for 5 hours utterly exhausted due to no sleep relapsed again and goto P again decided I need your help came back to this forum So I humbly beg again for your prayers and help dear fellowship to defeat this 'evil that does not sleep'
Checking in Fellowship Friends! 103 Days Free of PMO. Now begins the challenging week ahead, I will meet it head on and grow from whatever may arise. For today I want to remind everyone to be careful, careful that they are not replacing one mindless dopamine chase for another. I.e replacing PMO with mindless amounts of video game binge or tv show binges. You are not giving your brain a break this way, nor are you facing the emotions that may arise. Stay Strong! @Paul S. As for the day coming that you will do something productive without pushing through, my friend I feel as you. I remember a few years back, prior to this mess, I was quite productive and capable. I have hope that it is just a matter of time, we need to keep pushing ourselves for it to come with ease. It gets better. Making our dopamine system thrive in the pursuit of a goal, not it's completion. This takes practice. Also, I would try to avoid a self-fulfilling prophecy "It's always like that" regarding the rain, perhaps working a new perspective may help. I know its not an easy ask, try your best brother. @crazyhorse11 It's good to see you again brother! Sometimes, when we walk away it may be due to shame and I remind , and have been reminded, there is no shaming in the fellowship. We are here to support on another in our common struggle. As for your anxiety of your friend coming back, perhaps they feel the same? Anxiety will try to trick you and compare you to others. If you have progressed since your friend left, then that is a success. If you would of wished to progress more than that, write down an action plan. What could of been done better, what was done well and how to you intend to improve your initial plan. Set in check ins, to re-assess your progress. Lastly, remember that we overestimate how much we can do in a day and we underestimate how much we can do in a year.
I am tempted right now by thought like these: I can easily have a lot of pleasure, it's at my finger tips. But I am fighting it back, with thoughts like these: it will only give me a short term pleasure, I have bigger goals I want pursue right now; this pleasure will turn bitter once I reach it and in the long run it will have severe consequences. Stay strong guys
Day 179 Calm day. but some bad urges are come to my mind . Watch David Gogin's motivational video. Clear up my mind Using 2 steps Porn is defeated to me. But I must be careful.
@LLOYYD Brother, you didn't check yesterday ? Did you leave the challenge brother? . Come back brother . We're all gone to make it brah
I was going to check in my days. But I'm sorry to announce this but I relapsed recently little bro. Yes Fellowship, I relapsed and keeping this brief. Same issue as last time with peeking but it was my Twitter. Since I left it activated for the time being recently. So let's just say the place is breed ground for a reset/relapse. I knew I was getting attacked previously while getting closer to rank. But there was a mistake on my end which was a daily task I didn't do for only one day only. That made a difference. Stupid mistake. It is what it is. So I will be taking a break. It might be short and hopefully not too long. My no PMO streaks end at 27 days. I did better than last time but this whole rule with no P is messing with my mind. Then that being said I result in me saying time for full relapse. Bull crap with these rules. As I said to myself, I didn't MO did I?! Because of looking at P (intentional) then proceed to full relapse. That is how my mindset works with complying with hard mode challenges. I will be coming back as I said. I know I can do this. It was wipe again. Few hits your dead. Taking a break and hopefully not too long. Maybe I will change my mind and start asap. Keep strong Fellowship.
8 days Low urges yesterday, worked almost all the day. Get up late today becouse I worked at midnigth. Today maybe I'll work out. Keep strong my brothers.
10/22-23 2022 day 0- no O day 0 - No M & self stimulation day 0 - No P / Psub / addiction-induced arousal sigh, just seems I couldn't get back up
3 days – PMO forces have spotted you!! With haste you use the Bucklebury Ferry to cross the Brandywine river.
