If you can dream—and not make dreams your master; If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; Kipling what this means is don’t over react to victories and get proud, or to defeats and give up up. It’s all about the process. We’ve never truly won, and we’ve never ever been defeated…. Because there is always tomorrow. agree 100% with the importance of writing things down and opening up. Even if you just wrote it down on a piece of paper for yourself and then don’t show it to anyone - it’s gets it out your head and helps you reflect and process what your mind is doing.
Day 32 checking in no PM. had some really disturbing dreams last night that I was cruising around in my car looking at girls and fapping. Don’t think I’ve ever had a fapping dream before. I’ve had lots of sex dreams etc but never this (that I can recall). Woke up very triggered. Wrote it down. Walked the dog. Big black coffee. some heavy deadlifts. Went for a shower. Kissed my wife and kids when they woke up. my advice to others if you have a dream like that, when you wake up, even if it’s at 5am…. Get your ass out of bed and start your day. Don’t lie there. You’ll just ruminate and possible fall. win the morning win the day
Checking in Fellowship Friends! 106 Days Free of PMO. Feeling much better today, I think that 1 week haze is finally over. I had the support of the fellowship , for which I am grateful for. I also kept reminding myself that this is temporary, it happens sporadically and the intensity lessens at each encounter. 2 more days for this challenging week. The intention for today is meditation, exposure, workout, reading and work. "Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou wilt always look." -Marcus Aurelius Stay strong! @Baki Hanma @Paul S. and @nerdy_owl Thank you brothers!
Day 446 & 447 Congratulations @Baki Hanma ! The hardest trail of the journey is done. Stay strong and you'll never fall again!
1 day. Looking back on the weekend. Those 2 people are the ones who raised me. Crazy. My dad was whining and complaining about how big of a pain in the ass their puppies are. The man who raised me can't even handle puppies for crying out loud. I always did feel like a burden to him. I Journaled about this. This really says nothing about me and lots about him. It's sad you know. I am trying not to hold resentment. I don't think I resent him for it. Kind of lost some more respect for him. I will pray for him. Did more thinking about my fall 24 hours ago. I did not see anything hard-core. It was way less intense. It was missing something. I think i was missing the feelings of disgust and hatred that add to the high. I probably did not damage my brain as bad as with hard-core p. I can't access hard-core p on the internet. I found about all I will find with filters in place. No novelty or hardcoreness. Even if I do fall, God forbid. I won't hurt my brain so much.
11 days Low urges yesterday but yesterday started to search dopamine. As far as I know is my brain trying to replace the "normal" levels of PMO with other things, like junk food and surf in web. Today I worked out and took a cold shower. Keep strong my brothers.
Day 0 Sort of disappointed to have relapsed, but I didn't try very hard. The weather has been changing fast around here and within the last few days it's clear summer has finally ended and autumn is here. With that I find my habits changing to match what they more so were last year around this time. It's weird, I guess the seasons have a bigger effect on me then I thought! I tend to end up on a much later schedule in the colder months. I just wish I had a fireplace, that would be fitting! I started listening to an audiobook of "The Rational Male" on my walk last night. I will go through the whole series this time. I feel like I should have been done my nofap journey by now, so this fall I need to get to a more stable place with it. No porn with actual human relationships. I've been using my self hypnosis tapes again to try to remove the remainder of my hang-ups and have had to confront a greater level of sexual shame than I thought I had. It's all about the layers of the onion with this inner work!
