2 days. Think I may have gotten behind the reason I need to act out all the time. My default operating system seams to be fear and control. I have a very heavy heart. I carry a lot of weight. I seam to be able to put my mind into a place of lightness here now. It pulls my shoulders back and I stand taller. I don't need to control everything in this state. When I am in my ussual state I found that I force myself really hard to do things. Not charitable to myself at all. In the new state I get really nice feelings. Not sure if this is the full answer but it is def. a part of the puzzle. I just need to lighten the heck up. This was years ago. When I had a spiritual director. I said to myself "I am allowed to". It brought tremendous relief. I talked to my spiritual director about it and he said to be careful with that. Understandable. I think I figured out why it brings relief. I felt like I was not allowed to shine. I could not become too good at anything. I was not allowed to be better. I know who I learned that from and have come to realize he is an idiot. I am allowed to!! And I will!! I am going to become everything God made me to be!!
hahaha, Thanks so much for the motivation Baki. I hope my experiences can motivate others. I actually hear Goggins often and it fuels me.
One thing that Rollo has certainly convinced me of is that I should date casually and not be looking for a girlfriend. Only a relatively small amount of girls are really worth any commitment, in part for the reasons you mentioned. You really have to gain experience and take your time these days. Trust me, I know they don't want to submit; my ex absolutely destroyed me. I also recognize that I was far from worthy in the past too though. Most of the red pill space is filled with garbage pretenders just looking to grift for a quick buck, but I have linked up with some guys that legit want to help men level up. I did some work with a red pill hypnotist named Ryan Fowler for example who has really helped change my life slowly, but surely.
Day 1 Got soaked today. Had to put all my cloths in the dryer after a huge rainstorm. I got to see a massive flock of ducks in the ocean though. Just getting myself slowly accustomed to my old fall nofap routine again; that's when I had by far the most success before. I'll probably bring back daily push-ups next! I went and got a haircut, shaved and cut my nails to keep up with the self care also. I mentioned in my last entry that I wish I had a fireplace, which got me thinking about this old TV station I remember from childhood where it was just this fireplace that would loop endlessly. There are some videos like that on Youtube I could just put on the TV. I'll have to remember that when I rearrange my living room.
I am digging this reflection from last January back out and recommitting. Good to look back over & renew past commitments
Day 29 no PMO. Spent some good time outside yesterday enjoying nature and all the leaves changing colors. I think walking and being outdoors really helps my mental stability. Feeling good about my situation right now. Hopefully this trend will continue. Oh… I also got a Whoop band yesterday. Interested to see how that works with tracking my health. Anyone else have one?
I use a Fitbit. There’s a lot of gimik with these things but it’s good for sleep, steps and resting heart rate.
Why do you have to pay to a red pill hypnotist man? What are you doing. Just read the book, do some deep thinking that should be enough. Yeah, it depends again. There's no right or wrong way. I mean dating casually should be fit your interest depending on the age you at, should be mid 30's? Whatever man, you should be able to come to your own conclusio depending on what suits your interest best.
You can build your pmo free life brother. Never give up brother. If your mind says " I want p stuff" , control your mind brother. Because You are guy who can change your life brother. Some times PMO forces want to conquer my mind.I watch some David goggin's videos and get some moral to defeat PMO. KEEP PLAYING THE GAME. you can do it
