Day 10 I fell ill with an unknown illness that has incapacitated me for over a week now. I was completely bedridden, but have slowly been able to do basic things, but still feel fairly sick. I managed to hang onto my streak, but everything else went to hell... I'm going to take as much time off life as I need to recover though, maybe this is a blessing in disguise giving me the opportunity to pace. I can spend the whole day out of bed now, so it seems like a good time to get a sleeping pattern going again as a next step. I was trying to sleep as much as humanly possible as I couldn't do much and thought more sleep would equal faster recovery. As for nofap, been having the urges starting to come on strong... I just need to remind myself I'm not someone who does pmo anymore. Once I fully get over this sickness I will try to land a date.
Week 2 Check-In Heading into sensitive pathways Week 3 now again, been down this road before, the warm and fuzzies of the urges are lies. They are the call of the sirens that murder the sleepy sailor. I need to see the urges not as comfort but as neon warning signs of danger and to flee from them. Lowest this week was Thursday when I hit exhaustion very quickly as logged above, from 2 late nights Sometimes I wonder if rather than relapsing when I am in the pits of exhasution, there is a greater danger when exiting out of that state, or an illness or whatever, when you start to feel a little good again - body and mind taste what it's like to feel a little better and wants more and knows there is a fast track to that is P What is the main double bind this week - feeling tired, feeling self-pity, but at the same time needing to kick myself - the answer to this is to rest, schedule this rest and stick to this rest and when not resting do what I have to do, instead of loitering around in my head waiting for some dark rationale to tell me that what I need is a relapse. PMO is so unbelievably insidious, a vicious starving anaconda, yearning to devour you whole, dressed in gentle soothing comfort blankets for the mind - throw off the comfort blanket, reveal the serpent within, and flee! Commitment for this week - Either I stop procrastinating the work I know I need to get done and press into the pain of fear of failure on this assignment OR I continue to procrastinate by surfing Football, Social Media, News etc... and feel good but then later face the consequence of being behind and become even more stressed.
I love LOTR. I'm in! Starting on day 4 as a hobbit. Looks like I've already met Tom Bombadil. Just grabbed the Fellowship of the Ring off my bookshelf so I can read along at the same time. I haven't read this in a decade!
Checking in Fellowship friends! 117 Days Free of PMO. Today begins the first of the 3 days of my own battle. My aim is to grow from this experience, face it as I should. Interestingly enough a fantasy crept into my mind early this morning, clearly an attempt to distract me from my perceived discomfort. I did not engage with it however and put a sharp end to that thought. I have a few things on the list today and I intend to tackle them as best as I can. Stay strong! @NeverDefeated Welcome to the fellowship brother!
Day 193 Time is going very fast . But I think I have enough time to do my work. Busy week Good night brothers
Day 6 Urges 3/5 Thoughts 2/5 The urges are starting back up again, just about right on schedule, but I'm holding strong.
Have not checked in in a few days. I am at 2 days. Going well. I am doing so good. I am feeling loved.
I am so afraid of losing that I often backed out of competitions and exams even before I take part, even if I take part in it I often end up making a mess of it because of this uncertain feeling. And I have relied on Pmo for giving me the dopamine to get through this . Sometimes the anxiety was too high that I would have to rely on Pmo until the get past me. Quitting PMO is the first step towards the right direction right , I don't want to rely on Pmo again to stay calm.
I decide to destroy the porn ring! I'm a Hobbit now. I must take the ring to the place where he was made, Mount Doom. I left Hobbiton heading for Bree. 0 days no PM 0 days video games 7 days no hot shower 0 days no caffeine staying strong on the cold showers
Checking in Fellowship friends! 118 Days Free of PMO. Quick check in for me today, very busy day ahead. Today is a challenge that I must face and I hope ends up being fruitful. Stay Strong!
