6 days I finally want to feel what it's like not being addicted. @breaking-myths congratulations on reaching 50 days @Valier(|[{<=>}]|) welcome brother
Relapsed. Well I don't feel that bad about it. I guess I must respect the addiction rather than arrogantly think I can win it easily. Anyways not feeling too bad, but gotta watch out that's it's only single relapse. I just don't want to involve my anger against the addiction, since that usually just breeds guilt, which helps nobody. Btw boredom seems to be connected to PMO, yesterday I did not do anything productive or fun.
Visiting family abroad - arrived late & had a late meal & v late to bed - dreams with triggers but really happy to say that I practised mindful breathing in my sleep which prevented nocturnal emissions. This is my new drug now - defeating bad habits!
Officially restarted now. This hobbit is on day 2. Good thing I have sting. Glows blue when porn forces are around. LOL Awesome!
Checking in Fellowship Friends! 137 Days Free of PMO The weekend is here and I will focus more on rest, I still intend to exercise and commit to my exposure. Bettering oneself is definitely difficult, but it is worthwhile. Stay Strong! @nerdy_owl and @e r i k _ s a t i e Try your best to replace them with more rewarding activities that last, as opposed to those minor jolts. I know its not easy. I've recently started implementing cold exposure in my shower. Even 20 seconds is said to help raise dopamine levels, there is a cut off at a certain point for how long it lasts, but it does not crash. @breaking-myths Congrats brother! @Valier(|[{<=>}]|) Welcome to the Fellowship! @sonic123rainbow You've identified one of your triggers brother, good work. Come up with a plan to alleviate your boredom differently. Pave the new path for yourself, rise again! @crazyhorse11 Seems like a proper drug of choice, hope you have a good time with your family! @NeverDefeated Let it carry you far on this round of the journey!
Welcome, my friend, to the adventure of a lifetime! Make this a priority by doing productive things instead of PM. My technique is to work on quitting porn (P) primarily, though in this challenge it has to be both P and M, so I know that my counter reads 'porn' but I'm counting the PM days on my own just because there isn't the option to have two counters. I just keep track on an app on my phone where I enter the time I quit what I quit. I also have alcohol and other stuff like I'll eventually do sugar, et cetera. But the focus is, to me, what's important. I could try to quit 'everything' at once, but that just doesn't work for anyone. Some might think it does, but no. Don't make the mistake of ramping up another unwanted habit while cutting down the PM, but as for me, PM is my problem so I don't, for example, want to get too hard on myself for not exercising. I'll just try to work on that while I absolutely do not watch any porn. And if I were to masturbate to it, that would be masturbatory conditioning, which is what makes pornography so addictive. I hope I'm helping.
@Redemptionisrequired redeem rĭ-dēm′ transitive verb To recover ownership of by paying a specified sum. To pay off (a promissory note, for example). To turn in (coupons, for example) and receive something in exchange. From The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, 5th Edition. More at Wordnik The above is a cut & paste from a Brave search. In order to make my way through life, I have to redeem the coupons or I get nothing out of having gotten them in the first place! I think I have the coupons; those are the lessons learned, maybe. I had some habits that needed changing, now I have the tools, coupons, rights, to redeem and get what I need: recovery, and a great life! It made sense to me, just seeing your handle. It's a good one, I had to think whether I agreed with it. Honestly, I still won't say. Maybe I do, maybe not.
In any case, @Redemptionisrequired , have a great day, and thanks for the inspiration in not only the handle, but your words always!
Day 1 Sorry brothers, the thoughts got to me and I lost my streak; the bright side is that I didn't do it to porn and I didn't end up binging like last time, though I am feeling mild chasers, but compared to what I fighting a few days ago, they're nothing I can't handle. Anyways I'm not beating myself up over it, I made it three and a half weeks without popping one, when around this time last year I couldn't even do three days, so I'm calling this progress. Plus now I know where I stand, just got to work with it.
few more hours home alone. Urges are there. Stopped playing video games, too triggering. Getting drunk. Watching documentaries.
Day 23. I clearly don't want to write. I have this urge to take a break from this. I don't know. Maybe it's just an addiction trying to isolate me. Feeling of pointlessness persists. But today I'll just stick to philosophy of pushing myself. I don't know what to say. I am feeling low, irritated and avoidant all day. I wonder if it's because of nofap or something else. Got entangled into conference stuff, but just that... For years I pushed emotions away with pmo. In my teen and later years I masturbated almost every day. Sad -> pmo, angry -> pmo, anxious -> pmo, avoidant -> pmo, depressed -> pmo, too happy, manic -> pmo,... I think back then I could pass baseline test easily because of so much numbing myself. But now I am not even close to baseline. Of course, I don't know how to deal with emotions in healthy way. But, live and learn. Disclaimer. If I post a scene for illustration, that doesn't mean I recommend watching the moviefilm or watch it myself. Spoiler: Journey stuff Hard mode + no shutting blockers down - day 23. No coffee - day 23.
Being home alone and getting drunk - not a good combination. Believe me, I am a son of alcoholic. Don't let life break you! You are stronger than you think!
