Checking in Fellowship Friends! 137 Days Free of PMO The weekend is here and I will focus more on rest, I still intend to exercise and commit to my exposure. Bettering oneself is definitely difficult, but it is worthwhile. Stay Strong! @nerdy_owl and @e r i k _ s a t i e Try your best to replace them with more rewarding activities that last, as opposed to those minor jolts. I know its not easy. I've recently started implementing cold exposure in my shower. Even 20 seconds is said to help raise dopamine levels, there is a cut off at a certain point for how long it lasts, but it does not crash. @breaking-myths Congrats brother! @Valier(|[{<=>}]|) Welcome to the Fellowship! @sonic123rainbow You've identified one of your triggers brother, good work. Come up with a plan to alleviate your boredom differently. Pave the new path for yourself, rise again! @crazyhorse11 Seems like a proper drug of choice, hope you have a good time with your family! @NeverDefeated Let it carry you far on this round of the journey!
Welcome, my friend, to the adventure of a lifetime! Make this a priority by doing productive things instead of PM. My technique is to work on quitting porn (P) primarily, though in this challenge it has to be both P and M, so I know that my counter reads 'porn' but I'm counting the PM days on my own just because there isn't the option to have two counters. I just keep track on an app on my phone where I enter the time I quit what I quit. I also have alcohol and other stuff like I'll eventually do sugar, et cetera. But the focus is, to me, what's important. I could try to quit 'everything' at once, but that just doesn't work for anyone. Some might think it does, but no. Don't make the mistake of ramping up another unwanted habit while cutting down the PM, but as for me, PM is my problem so I don't, for example, want to get too hard on myself for not exercising. I'll just try to work on that while I absolutely do not watch any porn. And if I were to masturbate to it, that would be masturbatory conditioning, which is what makes pornography so addictive. I hope I'm helping.
@Redemptionisrequired redeem rĭ-dēm′ transitive verb To recover ownership of by paying a specified sum. To pay off (a promissory note, for example). To turn in (coupons, for example) and receive something in exchange. From The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, 5th Edition. More at Wordnik The above is a cut & paste from a Brave search. In order to make my way through life, I have to redeem the coupons or I get nothing out of having gotten them in the first place! I think I have the coupons; those are the lessons learned, maybe. I had some habits that needed changing, now I have the tools, coupons, rights, to redeem and get what I need: recovery, and a great life! It made sense to me, just seeing your handle. It's a good one, I had to think whether I agreed with it. Honestly, I still won't say. Maybe I do, maybe not.
In any case, @Redemptionisrequired , have a great day, and thanks for the inspiration in not only the handle, but your words always!
Day 1 Sorry brothers, the thoughts got to me and I lost my streak; the bright side is that I didn't do it to porn and I didn't end up binging like last time, though I am feeling mild chasers, but compared to what I fighting a few days ago, they're nothing I can't handle. Anyways I'm not beating myself up over it, I made it three and a half weeks without popping one, when around this time last year I couldn't even do three days, so I'm calling this progress. Plus now I know where I stand, just got to work with it.
few more hours home alone. Urges are there. Stopped playing video games, too triggering. Getting drunk. Watching documentaries.
Day 23. I clearly don't want to write. I have this urge to take a break from this. I don't know. Maybe it's just an addiction trying to isolate me. Feeling of pointlessness persists. But today I'll just stick to philosophy of pushing myself. I don't know what to say. I am feeling low, irritated and avoidant all day. I wonder if it's because of nofap or something else. Got entangled into conference stuff, but just that... For years I pushed emotions away with pmo. In my teen and later years I masturbated almost every day. Sad -> pmo, angry -> pmo, anxious -> pmo, avoidant -> pmo, depressed -> pmo, too happy, manic -> pmo,... I think back then I could pass baseline test easily because of so much numbing myself. But now I am not even close to baseline. Of course, I don't know how to deal with emotions in healthy way. But, live and learn. Disclaimer. If I post a scene for illustration, that doesn't mean I recommend watching the moviefilm or watch it myself. Spoiler: Journey stuff Hard mode + no shutting blockers down - day 23. No coffee - day 23.
Being home alone and getting drunk - not a good combination. Believe me, I am a son of alcoholic. Don't let life break you! You are stronger than you think!
5 days - With rain and fog you enter the old village of Bree. Don't want to jinx myself but I seem to be getting better every day at the moment. Tried out my new Saturday routine - rather than push myself to be productive straight away, use the morning as an opportunity to recover from the working week with a lie in and a genuinely restful (non-PMO!) activity away from the screen. This morning I read several chapters of my book. Then, at around midday I started getting down to what I needed to get done for the day. Cleaned bedroom, unblocked shower drain and called my Mum. Still need to clean bathroom but going to tackle that after dinner. I think this new routine is really good for me - when I'm trying to self-improve, I tend to try to cut out all pleasurable activities that don't directly contribute to my goals (e.g. reading fiction) altogether. So after a week at work, Saturday comes with this huge pressure to be productive every minute of the day. When I'm tired from the week, this can feel overwhelming, and sometimes causes me to relapse. TLDR: setting aside intentional time to recharge with a genuinely restful activity (especially away from screens, e.g. reading a book) is important. I genuinely felt more refreshed and motivated afterwards (unlike PMO where I feel drained and distracted after). New fun idea: watch the clips from the LOTR films when you get to that point @Paul S. well done for pushing yourself to write on here when you don't feel like it. You're right that it could well be the addiction trying to isolate you. I always think true self-discipline comes from following through on a rational plan even when you don't feel like it.
Decided to clean bathroom first thing tomorrow and prioritise sleep and winding down with a book. I deserve it, I've done well today
7 days @e r i k _ s a t i e exactly, thanks Instead of PMO I finally started watching The Rings of Power. What an awesome series! I was fearing that they would sexualize Galadriel but I'm glad they didn't Still no porn in this world Today is another challenge for a few hours. While I believe I can make it I must not undsrestimate my addiction. Take care brothers
Week 5 checkin "35 days Moria, the greatest Dwarven Kingdom, is before you. With a beard and a axe, you´re a Dwarf now" Meeting an old friend later today. I see that while I have been tackling PMO/ Lust & Pcstn/ Laziness to a lesser degree, my work will on pride has not been great. Not beating myself up just need to up my game. Knowing this is making me irritable and not pleasant to be around. Commitment to change for this week is to take the log out of my own eye first.
Day 5 My dad completed a cyclothon of 100kms today. I should live up to my family. I should break my dad's record in cycling and I should also be the first one in my family to complete a half marathon. I will try to do these goals once I am done with my exams. My dad was also a very bright student and went to the one of the best college in my state. I should at least live up to the family ideal or even increase it and make my ancestors proud. I will try my best.
