The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Checking in Fellowship Friends!

161 Days Free of PMO

Made it through the busy brothers, time to rest and unplug from work. Urges were a bit stronger today.

Stay Strong!


@PeaceOnEarth108 @Baki Hanma Thank you both brothers! Very kind @PeaceOnEarth108

@Paul S. I know how you feel as someone who tries to hold in my emotions too, I would say its okay to cry in front of your therapist. You will likely feel better afterwards. Also, thank you for the wishes brother. I know, I haven't been putting much detail lately, things have been busy. But overall, life is going well. Over the next 2 weeks, I will have more time to put a few more detailed reports.

 

Today I bought the extended version of the LOTR movies. I'm gonna watch these bit by bit, as I'm walking through this challenge.

So I'm back to the movies (I think I've never watched all of them fully before, but I know the books)

I'm dedicated to go on this Journey, embrace the sacrifice to reach Mount Doom and destroy the ring.
Or am I not?
I sure will make myself!

So I'm starting my Journey now (Day 0)
From time to time I will watch LOTR up to the point where I am in this Challenge.
But now, I'll watch a little bit, despite not having those days in my bag. Just to make a start, to motivate myself.

Please support me

 

23 days
Low urges yesterday feeling sick, maybe I got the flue, but everething good.
Keep strong my brothers.

 

Day 6

It snowed quite a lot today! I didn't do much, because things are pretty closed down today. Maybe that's fine enough being as low on energy as I've been feeling. Mentally I'm mostly tapped out by this time of day... Really looking forward to having some energy return, but I know this all probably just means my brain is healing.

I'm assuming my dopamine levels are just bottomed out for a little while.

 

1 day - At Buckland, Bilbo gives you Sting - an Elven short-sword made in Gondolin. It will turn blue when porn forces are around.
Quest Item - Sting

Home alone for 10h yesterday and not a single relapse.

@Last Resort Report welcome brother; good idea with the movies

 

I haven’t been on this forum much these twenty 21 days. But today here I am. Because yesterday, I had a bad day, after 20 days. And, I thought it may be better to come here and revive myself. And I have to say,… I was right,… this community is amazing.

May we all heal and recover from this addiction.

 

Day 4.
A brave friend, Tom Bombadil, takes notice of your quest. He teaches you a rhyme to summon him if you fall into danger within his borders. Quest Aid – Song of Bombadil

 

Salutations Fellowship
Day 2

Yesterday I got bored and I haven’t done many things. I felt useless.
Today though I’ve woken up later, I did a list with many tasks I must accomplish throughout the whole day to keep me busy and to feel some way useful.
I’m happy passing 2 whole days with no p or m

Let’s keep going brethren!

 

Day 20

had some more reflections about how I’m happy with what I’m doing and how many stimulating things I’ve been able to get out of my life already. I’m grateful that I’ve done and made myself go through this (and for other things I’ve quit: entertainment, media, TV, video games, I already never drank/or coffee, no drugs/prescriptions etc.) at this time in my life rather than later. The longer I go the more I feel like I can just get up and happily live the life I’ve always wanted to live! That’s what I’ve been doing lately and I’ll happily get up and go do that again!

I think having these small reflections of just realizing what your doing for yourself can be really self-motivating- which is a very important thing!

I believe in the fellowship! You can quit this with me for good!

 

Day 238
busy day..Good luck brothers

 

Checking in Fellowship Friends!

162 Days Free of PMO

Plan for the day, meditation, exposure, workout and rest. I already undertook part of the exposure and it was successful. I did not sleep the best last night however and urges were present. More so to MO, than to watch porn.

My mood has been okay, i've also still been talking to this girl, I mentioned a few weeks back. I like talking to her, so we'll see where it goes. I'm still reserved about pursuing due to multiple constraints and desires in self-development. We will see. Work has been stressful, but I am getting good feedback from others. I'm going to be off for vacation for a little while, it will be nice to disconnect for a bit.

Stay Strong!

@Last Resort Report Welcome brother!

@Vicegerent Well said brother and don't worry about not checking in as frequent. As long as you are keeping to the path and living life, you have nothing to apologies for.

@Shaggyisdeaf You are young and your decisions will have a very positive impact on whatever it is you wish to pursue. Be proud.

@skyfighter Do not be so harsh with words on yourself brother, this can also create a relapse cycle. Apart from that, well done on sticking to your tasks.

@Paul S. Great decision brother, keep moving forward. PMO is a world of lies that will leave you feeling even more empty, we must not forget this.

 

1 day - At Buckland, Bilbo gives you Sting - an Elven short-sword made in Gondolin. It will turn blue when porn forces are around.

 

24 days
Low urges yesterday. Completed my job tasks and had a date yesterday. Was fun.
I didn't worked out, felt to tired for that but tomorrow I will do it.
Keep strong my brothers.

 

Hey fellowship, I just hit the emergency button which I didn't do in a while and got linked to a reddit page with this text. Instead of posting the link I rather post the text bc you may not want to visit reddit or your porn blocker doesn't allow it. Anyway, it's helping me right now so I want to share it.

The Inherent Nature of Porn Is To Mock You

Now, I know this is a long shot, but bear with me. If you think I'm wrong, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it. Also, just to be clear, I'm going to be addressing mainstream heterosexual porn in this one.

In my opinion, porn themes and storylines are built to address your social insecurities and fears, which makes the release so strong and identifiable and hence, keeps you coming back for more. To illustrate my point, I'll broadly breakdown a generic porno storyline:

1. The object of desire- For those of us addicted, one common symptom is our anxiety in social situations with the opposite sex. Especially if it's someone desirable. We somehow believe that these hot women are inaccessible to us for whatever reason. Porn reinterprets this sense of inaccessibility through 'roles' they make their pornstars play: My Wife's Hot Friend My Sister's Best Friend The School Teacher The Maid, etc. All 'inaccessible' in a sense, in context to the plot. The rush, as you'll guess, is in breaking this inaccessibility and claiming the prize. Something we wish we could do in real life, but somehow don't manage.

2. You The male characters are usually roles that are irrelevant or not generally held in very high esteem in society. Plumbers, pizza delivery guys, employees, customers, restaurant waiters, salesmen. Why? Coz the makers of porn have a fair idea about your own self worth. There's nothing more rewarding than an underdog story, and in your life, you're perpetually the underdog. A nobody scores the hottest woman in the room? That's arousing.

3. Making the first move The makers of porn know we're too chicken to approach women we're attracted to because of our social anxiety. There's nothing more we'd like in the world than have these women want us more than we want them. Which is why in most porno, even before the guy's spoken 5 coherent sentences, the girl's already on her knees unzipping him.

4. Unleash The Penis! They know you're insecure about your penis. They know you think your dick is too small, too ugly, too thin, too floppy and so on.

5. Releasing those pent up emotions Sex in porn is way more 'aggressive' and in-your-face than it is in real life. That again is solely for you and me. Here we are in front of our screens stroking our dicks like mad, hoping to feel better about all that pent up anxiety and lack of self-worth, believing that we're that dude on the screen and the girl's actually enjoying what we're doing to her. Why? Because we WISH we could be that good.

These stereotypes exist because WE exist. In helping us live out our fantasies through this third person, porn also mocks us for our inability to cope with our own reality. They love giving you the best view from your prison cell window, knowing very well that you won't be able to break out of the cell any time soon. Think about it- If we were all confident people, able to strike up a conversation with anybody we wanted, not insecure about ourselves and what we had, knowing the boundaries of social accessibility and being comfortable with it, knowing how to express ourselves, then would porn storylines stay the same? I'd like to believe not.

The objective behind this long analysis is to try and get all of us to replace our addiction with social activity, even if it makes us uncomfortable at first. And no, not because you want to get laid. Because you need to be comfortable with who you are and like yourself. Till you don't learn and fix these two issues, you'll be the most ripe target audience for most mainstream porno. Coz you can't get out and confront your reality and take control of it. Instead you choose to let tailor-made fantasies run your reality.

TLDR - Porn knows your social insecurities and they use that to create content that connects with you. Don't fall for that trap.

 

Day 1, here I am again!

 

Day 76
Yesterday was a pretty busy day , went for a chess tournament after a long time. I was inches away from clinching a prize but next time I will go better prepared .

 

Day 77

 

“How you spend your days is, of course, how you spend your life.” Anne Dillard.
I think this quote is especially applicable to recovery.





@Redemptionisrequired Thank you very much for the encouragement. Honestly, it’s motivating.

 

2 days
Wise words @Vicegerent

 

Day 7

A week in! Very excited to be here. I unfortunately broke my streak of getting up at 7am this morning after about a week, but I'll get back on it tomorrow. I felt like a hunk of lead this morning and ended up falling back asleep. I think I needed the extra sleep though, so I'm okay with it.

Today was the coldest day I've felt in awhile; very bad wind chill. My skin sorta stung after being in it for awhile.