Day-0 The journey begins. I hope im doing this challenge thing correctly. Im just supposed to reply to the thread, yes?
Man don't worry u will succeed soon, u were the first one to motivate me for my journey in this community, u r one of the peoples I look forward to and follow u. What ever has been happened u have to move over it and start ur jurny again. I belive in u man u can do it for sure.
I am so glad that you find valuable company in this community. For my part, I am also very happy to share with all fapstronauts; I learn a lot and I am quite happy that we all want to achieve the same goal: get rid of this damn addiction that has screwed up our lives. Just like you, I have also been addicted to PMO for many years, 17 years ago to be exact; I was sexually abused by a woman who introduced me to PMO at the age of six and my life has revolved around uncontrollable lust ever since. Now I'm almost 23, and I look back on the past and I can't find great things to be proud of. PMO has also taken away friends and great experiences throughout my life. But it's over, I feel like I'm getting better every day, and I hope you find the strong will you need to achieve your goal. I send you much encouragement. I believe in you, brother. Together we can get out of this, I assure you.
Brother as we are together PMO doesn't stand a chance. At this point I remember a quote of Bruce wayne from Snyder's cut
Day 70 - Warrior Riders bring a gift! “My Lord, here is the Horn of Hondor for your assistance”. The Horn of Gondor is an heirloom of the Stewards of Gondor tipped with silver and inscribed with ancient characters. It´s audible at far ranges and summons reinforcements in times of need. Quest Item - Horn of Gondor
Day 38. Since I feel that relapse may be around the corner. I want to say that I never liked when people said to me "It's ok. Just try again.", "Don't feel shame. It happens to everyone.", "No worries, just continue", etc. Such phrases never made sense to me. How is it ok to relapse (watch porn and maturbate)? How is it not shameful to waste good streak for stupid pleasure? Why shouldn't I worry, if I am not able to keep my promises and am a mess without self-control? Even now, yes I feel that relapse may happen. But who would be responsible for that? If I say that "it's ok, it happens", then, in essense, I say that it's body's business and I don't have much free will. But if I have free will to chose and it's my responsibility, how is it not shameful to relapse? Maybe the better word would be guilt... Anyway, it's normal to feel bad after doing wrong thing. I said that blockers should stay on, so shutting them down would be dishonest and wrong. I have a good streak now. It's nothing compared to Baki's and many others in these forums. But still - it's something tangible. I have to be a man and finally take responsibility for my actions. I should stop blaming circumstances, stop making excuses that I am young and horny, stop making excuses that often I am stressed, anxious, lonely, stop making excuse that maybe it's an addiction and I should pmo to relieve withdrawals... So, I say this, if I relapse and waste this opportunity, I am a pathetic loser. Spoiler: Journey stuff Hard mode + no shutting blockers down - day 38. No caffeine (no coffee, tea, chocolate, etc.). Calisthenics workout every Saturday. I can do one additional workout on any chosen day. 15 done.
Day 38. II. It's getting real bad. I am considering to cheat (access some sites through some ways in my phone). But let's come back to what I wrote this morning. No one is holding a gun to my head and forcing me to masturbate. So to pmo or not is my choice and responsibility. Spoiler: Journey stuff Hard mode + no shutting blockers down - day 38. No caffeine (no coffee, tea, chocolate, etc.). Calisthenics workout every Saturday. I can do one additional workout on any chosen day. 15 done.
