The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 11 complete - Hobbit

 

Day 21!

 

Day 35!

 

Day 1.

Well, here it goes... I am a pathetic loser. I really have no honour... What did I think by shutting down blockers? Probably, "let's do this, nobody has to know." But I know. At least I am honest enough to admit the failure.

So, the truth is, I failed. But I am not giving up. What other options do I have. Going back to the life of constant pmo? That would be even lamer.

I am angry. But I am good angry. Hopefully this is the last time I let stressors of life force me to relapse. F*ck anxieties, f*ck annoying tasks, f*ck arrogant people,... What are the usual reasons that cause a relapse? "I am tempted, but I can't go outside and rest now, because I have stuff to do." "I am tired and tempted but I can't go for a nap, because now it's not the time". "I am tempted, I want a day off. I can't get one now. I am not worthy". Sly tricks of the brain to use my perfectionism and inner critic to force me into relapse. Enough is enough. I am putting inner critic into his place. A year no pmo is going to happen. I am thinking how to take this good anger to other days of the journey.

And yes... Denim jacket-raward will be on July 3rd now. I think that's a cool reward. Whenever I am wearing that jacket, I'll know that I went 90 days hardmodes. It should give me strength to continue. But, first, I have to earn it.

I see that today there will be hard talk with psychologist. I am prepared. I think he'll understand. They are well trained professionals.

I am angry. But this anger makes me focused. I am restarting the journey.

Spoiler: Journey stuff

Next reward - denim jacket on July 3rd.
Hard mode + no shutting blockers down - day 1.
No caffeine (no coffee, tea, chocolate, etc.).
Calisthenics workout every Saturday. I can do one additional workout on any chosen day.

 

Day 79 - Warrior

@Reghu Yes, building a physique and the lifestyle of it if you do it properly.

Fighting as a Warrior of Gondor

 

You have a good approach, my friend. I have a lot to learn from you. I really lack self-compassion, when it comes to days off.

 

Day 341

 

Checking in Fellowship Friend's!

16 day's Free of PMO.

A day of rest and reflection. Although, it did start with some anger and words with others.

Stay Strong!

16 days – Touched by your bravery, the gentle Elves of Rivendell give you an elven cloak. The cloak has a hood and is fastened by a green brooch. It acts as camouflage when PMO units are around.

Quest Item - Elven Cloak

I'm sorry to hear about your relapse brother, but I'm happy to see your resolve is fired up. I am not always compassionate with myself, it is a work in progress. I think you have taken the right approach to speak with someone about it, I had done the same amongst a few other things too. All this helps in providing tools and a different perspective to what occurred. Let's continue forward, my friend!

 

was very busy the last days... hope everyone is fine!
I have 8d 1h and 8min right now.
Thats great!

Stay in focus brothers.
Remember:
Focus=Fate.

 

Just about to finish work today, thought popped into my head "why don't I look up that tv series ( one that has triggers )" popped the title into google and the search results did not find it, so I tried a different spelling, still no joy. So I stopped, and realised I had just been fishing. Stopping now.
Dusting down list of consequences again - and by these commitments I am now resetting my counter again after 3 days, although I did not see or hear or even glimpse a trigger, yet I fished for one, so I am resetting...
- Consequences : urges/ thoughts - BRACE ; innuendo in work - sacrifice the laughs & change the subject while keeping the humour; nocturnal emissions - handwash soiled clothes ; looking a triggers on tv - no tv/ streaming for a workweek ( doing this anyway); looking up actresses - detox diet 3 days; actively fishing for erotica - reset my counter; P - do 3 day fasting with 24 hour vigil in between
This week start work at desk at 8:00
Next week - finish day with plan for next
Next week - GTD daily with weekly checkin

 

18 days
Low urges yesterday
Worked out and took a cold shower.
Keep strong my brothers.

 

Day 4

 

Check in day 45

 

Day 15

Great feeling to have reached the rank of Elf again! Intimacy with my girlfriend is proving a challenge; we are growing closer and closer, and abstaining is causing me to experience significant pain down below.

I hope this passes, but all in all I’ve never been happier. Life is going pretty well, I’ve got annual leave booked in, and I’m sleeping so well!

 

Every one is a loser till it get succeed, but the good thing is that u r angary about it and decided not to give up, u know what's good for u and u r trying to become better version of yourself, may be it takes days but its better late then never. Use ur experience of this reboot as an lesson for the next one be strong man u had to do it...man ur #33875 post in this thread is stuck in my mind and it motivates me every time I read it, and I think u had the will to stand by the promises u had done to yourself. Goodluck for this time. Make it happen this time.

 

Day 6 Completed,

I am planing to start my project now, it's late but there is a saying that,"There neve is enough time to complete something but enough to complete most of it."

 

Day 12 complete - Hobbit

 

temptations resisted: 0
days: 1

When I'm able to PMO, like being home alone, urges are at 100% and I stand no chance. But when I'm not, I feel no desire in that direction, so now I will also count the times in which I successfully resisted the temptations

 

Day 36!

 

48 days – With boats given by the Elfs you sail on the river Anduin. The journey continues south to Amon Hên.