The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Should the Thread Title be extended?

  • No, leave like that: "The Lord of the Rings Challenge"

    Votes: 18 54.5%

  • Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Fellowship of Nofap"

    Votes: 15 45.5%

  • Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: Rising Fellowship of Eärendil"

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Journey to Mount Doom"

    Votes: 5 15.2%

  • Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Quest of the Ring-bearer"

    Votes: 6 18.2%
  • Total voters
    33
  • Poll closed .
Day 14

Just because you found some happiness doesn't change anything. If i relapse, I'll be back right where I was, a suffering so severe that it could take my life. I need to move towards life, and do so stubbornly. I'm not in a safe place yet. I need many more healings.

Reminder: I'm not ready for anything until I achieve a complete reset of my brain. It isn't achieved until I reach atleast 21 days on this streak.

Nothing has changed, I'm exactly where I was, and where I will be if I relapsw.
 
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RiseToGreatness said:
13 days – The PMO forces were at your tail but you crossed the Ford of Bruinen, leaving them behind. The House of Elrond is in sight!
Click to expand...
13 days done Fellowship - ran out of time yesterday so I’m checking in the next morning. PMO forces on my tail is a pretty apt description for how yesterday went. It was the first day that I had some real urges. I didn’t have much trouble making it through, mainly because I was preoccupied with other things. I managed to get out and do some weight lifting which is always a good outlet.
 
Healing has become necessity said:
Day 12

Is 21 days possible?

Affirmation/Reminder: I need to abstain from life and run away from stress, I'm no position to deal with any thing in life at the moment, esp any type of minutest stress. I need to find ways to kill time and avoid anything and everything.

Reverse Affirmation: Today I'm pretty average at most things in life
I'm an average guy with very little to show for my time here
Click to expand...
Would you mind explaining the idea behind the Reverse Affirmation? How does it work for you and why isn’t it just self-deprecating?
 
Average_Joe0285 said:
Would you mind explaining the idea behind the Reverse Affirmation? How does it work for you and why isn’t it just self-deprecating?
Click to expand...

I struggle with narcissism. My behaviours tend to be quite self serving too. Honestly, these days I'd rather deal with lack of confidence than over confidence.

I have also been in some cut throat work environment where cunningness was rewarded. I used to get high of outcompeting my colleagues whom I considered beneath me (Just thinking about this is giving me boners). I didn't have friends then, only haters.

Also, especially if you loose touch with your empathetic side your actions can become very manipulative, hurtful and some cases dangerous.

Sometimes this weird thing happens with me. something kind of turns off or something within me, and I loose all fear. I'm looking down at pretty much everybody then.
 
Paul S. said:
Day 29.

Sorry for not checking in yesterday. No... I don't feel like sorry. I didn't want to write. Actually, I wanted to quit forums again. Because recently it feels that I am forcing myself to write over and over, and over. I thought that festival would be a good time-mark to stop and don't come back here anymore. But I am here. I remembered that last week I said that I am not the one to give up. Would be lame to leave after that. I guess I'll just push through and see what happens. Of course, addiction would be very happy if I isolated myself from the forums. Less accountability means more chances to f*ck up my streak.

Just that I don't know how to push through anymore. Writing here became crazy boring to me. Also I see quality of my journal decreasing and decreasing. I am less and less prone to write what I really think and write just superficial stuffs. I really miss the times, when I started here in the forums late 2020 (different account then). I was so sincere and passionate, and hopeful. Eh...

If I don't write what I really think, what's the point then?

But I am not the only one. I see quality of journaling decreasing in what other guys write too. Guys there very rarely write what they really think. I understand -- men are afraid to be vulnerable. The fear is so big, that it transfers to anonymous profile too, which thinking rationally doesn't make much sense. But from emotional perspective I completely understand. I find difficulties of being completely sincere in my journals too, though I am trying. Even with my best buddies in real life it took a long long while until we could talk honestly without the fear of being vulnerable.

I don't know... At the moment I am really confused. I have no idea why am I still doing this... I don't worry much. Emotions will settle down and it will become clear what's what.

Battles won against pmo: 279.

:emoji_palm_tree:

Next reward - denim jacket on October 18th.
Hardmodes - day 29.
No matter what happens in my life, this is important to me and this streak has to continue.
No coffee. No caffeine at all.
Calisthenics workout 3 times a week.
Click to expand...


I encourage you to keep writing. I find it pretty useful to read through at least something than nothing.
 
Paul S. said:
Day 29.

Sorry for not checking in yesterday. No... I don't feel like sorry. I didn't want to write. Actually, I wanted to quit forums again. Because recently it feels that I am forcing myself to write over and over, and over. I thought that festival would be a good time-mark to stop and don't come back here anymore. But I am here. I remembered that last week I said that I am not the one to give up. Would be lame to leave after that. I guess I'll just push through and see what happens. Of course, addiction would be very happy if I isolated myself from the forums. Less accountability means more chances to f*ck up my streak.

Just that I don't know how to push through anymore. Writing here became crazy boring to me. Also I see quality of my journal decreasing and decreasing. I am less and less prone to write what I really think and write just superficial stuffs. I really miss the times, when I started here in the forums late 2020 (different account then). I was so sincere and passionate, and hopeful. Eh...

If I don't write what I really think, what's the point then?

But I am not the only one. I see quality of journaling decreasing in what other guys write too. Guys there very rarely write what they really think. I understand -- men are afraid to be vulnerable. The fear is so big, that it transfers to anonymous profile too, which thinking rationally doesn't make much sense. But from emotional perspective I completely understand. I find difficulties of being completely sincere in my journals too, though I am trying. Even with my best buddies in real life it took a long long while until we could talk honestly without the fear of being vulnerable.

I don't know... At the moment I am really confused. I have no idea why am I still doing this... I don't worry much. Emotions will settle down and it will become clear what's what.

Battles won against pmo: 279.

:emoji_palm_tree:

Next reward - denim jacket on October 18th.
Hardmodes - day 29.
No matter what happens in my life, this is important to me and this streak has to continue.
No coffee. No caffeine at all.
Calisthenics workout 3 times a week.
Click to expand...
You shouldn’t feel that you need to write long posts if you don’t want to. Sometimes it just helps coming here, posting what day you’re on, seeing where you are on the Lord of the Rings journey. It’s just a relaxed way to add a little bit of accountability to your streak. It can be good to post how you’re feeling with a long entry, but sometimes it can be good just to check in with what day you’re on; maybe reply to a couple of other people’s posts - and that’s all. Just being present with the Fellowship. Don’t start associating posting here with negative feelings. Just do what you feel like. There are plenty of more important things you should expend energy forcing yourself to do (E.g. working out, eating well, avoiding PMO). I don’t think missing a few days here and there journaling will make much difference. Good luck and stay positive! I enjoy reading your posts :)
 
Healing has become necessity said:
I struggle with narcissism. My behaviours tend to be quite self serving too. Honestly, these days I'd rather deal with lack of confidence than over confidence.

I have also been in some cut throat work environment where cunningness was rewarded. I used to get high of outcompeting my colleagues whom I considered beneath me (Just thinking about this is giving me boners). I didn't have friends then, only haters.

Also, especially if you loose touch with your empathetic side your actions can become very manipulative, hurtful and some cases dangerous.

Sometimes this weird thing happens with me. something kind of turns off or something within me, and I loose all fear. I'm looking down at pretty much everybody then.
Click to expand...
Thank you for sharing that. It's an interesting way to deal with that issue. If it works, then keep doing it. Good luck friend.
 
Day 15

6 days to 21.

I'm hoping for a withdrawal, because it's due now anytime. Better now than too late. Withdrawls should cancel sexual urges and thereby guarantee easier time recovering.

Otherwise, I'm kind of starting to forget again my healing priority. I need to find one more day of healing today. It won't be given, i'll have to earn it.

Reminder: I'm in no position to deal with anything, any stress at the moment.

Affirmations: I'm pretty average at most things and I don't deserve anything more than what I already have.
 
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