The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Should the Thread Title be extended?

  • No, leave like that: "The Lord of the Rings Challenge"

    Votes: 18 54.5%

  • Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Fellowship of Nofap"

    Votes: 15 45.5%

  • Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: Rising Fellowship of Eärendil"

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Journey to Mount Doom"

    Votes: 5 15.2%

  • Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Quest of the Ring-bearer"

    Votes: 6 18.2%
  • Total voters
    33
  • Poll closed .
8 days – Gildor Inglorion, an Elf, crosses your path causing a Nazgûl that was chasing you to flee. You stay the night with his company of Elves talking about your struggles with PMO. "Courage is found in unlikely places" he says. He gives you an Hithlain rope, a magical rope, light and flexible, yet extremely strong.

I wrote some stuff about my wife's problems and wanted to post it here. But I deleted it again. I shouldn't be talking bad about others and I should focus on my own problems instead.

Today will be difficult. Same old story: Home alone for several hours, lot's to do, stressful, fear of failure kicking in.
 
Kaerhal said:
1. Talking to others. I told my wife, my parents, my in-laws, my friends, eventually even my barber what I was struggling with. Realising that people love me, forgive me, and want to help me was a catalyst for change. Taking away the secrecy and shame helps to process it.

2. Talking to a professional. Getting therapy changed my life. I spoke to two therapists and a couple’s counsellor about my addiction, and the difference it made was astronomical. I’m not the same person, I don’t see myself the same way as I once did, I’m free.

3. Talking to myself. Journaling, prayer, reflection; constant dialogue with yourself helps a lot. If I make a mistake, I need to be the first one to address it and make amends. I am my first line of defence against porn, so I better be well aware of the difficulties I face in order to effectively overcome them.
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Wow! You really did some work there. Amazing stuff!
 
Day 153.

Got up late today. I really wanted to sleep. So rushed to street gymnastics. Then prepared and met with a friend to movies. It's European movie, so mostly boring, but ending was nice. I cried a little.

When I came home studied a bit. Not sure if it's good to do on weekends, but I always feel behind, so...

Feeling sad now. Processing it with musics. Wow... Early 2000s sure had melodic pop musics. I enjoy. Though texts are a boring.

I shouldn't overstay my welcome here. Tomorrow I have to go to kickboxing practice, so I have to be rested.

I masked my problems with p, m, o in the past. Now I am processing my emotions. Even if being completely sad as I am now. Partly due to my personal problems, partly due to that I feel that I don't belong here in the forums anymore. I am just not the same as I was 4 years ago. I am not as enthusiastic and hopeful. It is what it is. We change...

Nobody said I was born to be happy in this life. Maybe I was born to be a fighter. Somehow I feel relief after this thought -- I don't feel so much pressure to find "happiness" in this life. Whatever that happiness would be...

Let's just keep doing what we have to do. Let's just keep fighting!

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153 days hardmode.
No coffee.
 
I'm back to no good. Day 1 today.
I want to tell you just the thoughts that went through my mind before I did the deed. I thought on some porn game (it was just an urge, not even a strong one) and I said to myself: I can just play this specific game now and that's it. I think I also had in mind some notion of "when you proof that you can control yourself that far, it will be progress" or some nonsense. As soon as I was on the p site I quickly opened three other games and I didn't even play the first one and then when I got bored from the slow game play I just escalated further to vids.

It's always a little difficult to admit these defeats. But it's important to write about it. And I need to be positive here. Of course I have the ability to quit! The last relapse shows me exactly what goes wrong in terms of mindset and which thoughts I'm thinking.

But I don't think it's enough to train mindset just when I'm tempted to watch porn. It's necessary that I work on a daily basis on my mindset and my self discipline. It's not just about the porn. By the way, that was the message from the beginning - when you read the good stuff here on the platform, they all say it: not just focus on the porn issue, it's mostly more than that. Change the conditions and get rid of the symptoms - something like that.
 
Day 193

Still struggling with my gaze. It’s better than it ever had been, but when I do find my eyes wandering it really crushes my spirit.

Totally random to share on here, but I completed Uncharted 4 on Crushing difficulty and I’m super proud of myself! It’s easily one of my favourite games and I felt like I owed it to myself to try.
 
Kaerhal said:
Day 180

After a long strenuous climbing, the entrance to the Cracks of Doom appears. With fierce determination you enter the Chambers of Fire.

Reaching the edge of the platform, Andúril shines in your hand and the Fellowship empowers your heart. Watching the burning lava you think about home and how far you´ve gone. You cast the PMO ring into the fire, you destroyed the ring!!!


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Congratulations!!! By the grace of the Valar your total Maiar strength is revealed. You are the Supreme Guardian of Middle Earth, a White Wizard.

It can be done, we can be free, and our freedom is worth every ounce of pain we have to endure to find it.

All I really need at this time is peace; this peace will come from completely accepting that I am forgiven by God, and knowing it in my heart.

Thank you everyone: @icebreaker7 @Baki Hanma @Paul S. @PeaceOnEarth108 @Talz @MS PBH @RiseToGreatness - you guys have been with me since the beginning, and I can’t thank you enough for the encouragement and support you have given me, I wouldn’t be here without you.
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Great victory bro! I´m super proud of you :) I hope you go for the special challenges and keep inspiring our brothers and sisters here. Congratulations once again my brother :)

Big hug!
 
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