The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Should the Thread Title be extended?

  • No, leave like that: "The Lord of the Rings Challenge"

    Votes: 18 54.5%

  • Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Fellowship of Nofap"

    Votes: 15 45.5%

  • Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: Rising Fellowship of Eärendil"

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Journey to Mount Doom"

    Votes: 5 15.2%

  • Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Quest of the Ring-bearer"

    Votes: 6 18.2%
  • Total voters
    33
  • Poll closed .
Day 0

Gonna give this one last shot... This is where I started, so it fits that this is where I end.

While I was away from the challenge I had some good streaks, especially an 83 day one, but am still plagued by this demon...

I didn't sleep last night and binged despite knowing it's against my values. I binged even worse a while back... And a lot of more moderate use in-between. The point is I'm not taking this seriously enough.

I need to bring my fire back! Somehow I have to become that guy again... It's like I just lose it after certain relapses and that can't happen! Where is my fiery spirit?! It must be hiding within!
 
Something else I wanted to talk about: I often turn down people because I think I have no time. Then I mess around, spending my time with pmo and other shit. Does it sound familiar? Of course sometimes it's good to turn down certain people, especially when we want to change. But I'm talking about family here. Actually the amount of time I spent with my familiy is alright. But my underlying thinking is always: I have to be careful not to spend too much time there, I have things to do, I want to achieve stuff and then ruin my alone time with pmo and distraction. That's the thing - if I manage to be effective, disciplined and strong I can afford to spend quite some time with my family. I can just chill with them without feeling guilty. It is my alone time where I ruin it for me and risking my relationship to my family, where I deny my friends, potential new friends or romantic partners.
 
Day 2 in the books. Stay strong Fellowship!

Kaerhal said:
Rumination - how on earth do you deal with it?

Every week or so I remember something from my porn addiction; it’s always a memory that makes me feel like I’m a POS, and it takes me ages to process it. Often I solve it by telling my wife what’s burdening me, but this isn’t a viable long-term solution; I can’t go running to her every time I feel bad, I need the tools to deal with the emotions and work through them myself.

My wife doesn’t fix the problem, it’s accepting that I’m forgiven that fixes the problem - any tips or wisdom on how to stop a cycle of unhelpful thoughts?
Click to expand...
I recommend mindfulness and meditation, it really helped me with self-forgiveness for things I’ve done in the past. A good meditation session allows you to observe your thoughts without judging them or blocking them. Through this you can accept them. You cant block out thoughts, only come to terms with them.

My brother and a friend had a lot of issues that they felt building up, a few sessions with a therapist really helped them unburden themselves. Sometimes just venting helps you come to terms with your thoughts and organise them. It’s just about finding someone to vent to that won’t judge you and can offer good advice. A therapist ticks these boxes.

Religion and faith also helped me with self-forgiveness, but that’s not for everyone.

I hope this helps. I’m no expert obviously and can only recommend what has worked for me in the past, even though I’m still struggling with PMO addiction.
 
Day 197
Average_Joe0285 said:
Day 2 in the books. Stay strong Fellowship!


I recommend mindfulness and meditation, it really helped me with self-forgiveness for things I’ve done in the past. A good meditation session allows you to observe your thoughts without judging them or blocking them. Through this you can accept them. You cant block out thoughts, only come to terms with them.

My brother and a friend had a lot of issues that they felt building up, a few sessions with a therapist really helped them unburden themselves. Sometimes just venting helps you come to terms with your thoughts and organise them. It’s just about finding someone to vent to that won’t judge you and can offer good advice. A therapist ticks these boxes.

Religion and faith also helped me with self-forgiveness, but that’s not for everyone.

I hope this helps. I’m no expert obviously and can only recommend what has worked for me in the past, even though I’m still struggling with PMO addiction.
Click to expand...
This is really helpful, thank you mate! I don’t often take the time to just sit and meditate without feeling like I need to reach some kind of end goal, so I’ll give this a go.

Therapy has been helpful in the past, so I’ll reach out to my old therapist and see if he can book me in.

Prayer is also key for me, I’m happy to see someone else sharing the faith here!
 
13 days – The PMO forces were at your tail but you crossed the Ford of Bruinen, leaving them behind. The House of Elrond is in sight!

I'm proud of myself and I don't want to lose these 13 days.

Edit: Btw, I've reached 90 days without video games today. 90 days ago I played for one hour and before that I head another solid 60 day streak
 
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Day 119!

@Kaerhal that's my 2 cents: Regarding rumination ; what worked for me was "showing" my own self that I was doing thing differently. Rumination about not exercise enough and time wasted? Create a simple exercise habit (start small) and after a few months, I'll stop ruminating about it. Now my mind has proof it can move on. That's the "fix it by going to the source". It's slow, but the nice part is it actually fixes the underlying problem.

But it's also nice to fix our reaction to the problem (even if I don't exercise enough, it'd be better if I was able to control the rumination). That's where going to therapy helps break the rumination cycle, and then things such as not identifying to your thoughts. That's a concept I've often heard about, but once I started actually understanding how it works, it's really powerful. It's like you're triggered, you start to react to the emotion or thought, and then you remember that you have a choice and can actually just let the emotion go.

@RiseToGreatness Good luck to you. You are strong.
 
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