The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Should the Thread Title be extended?

  • No, leave like that: "The Lord of the Rings Challenge"

    Votes: 18 54.5%

  • Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Fellowship of Nofap"

    Votes: 15 45.5%

  • Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: Rising Fellowship of Eärendil"

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Journey to Mount Doom"

    Votes: 5 15.2%

  • Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Quest of the Ring-bearer"

    Votes: 6 18.2%
  • Total voters
    33
  • Poll closed .
Day 218

A mixed day; a good morning, a troubled afternoon, and a peaceful evening. Watched an amazing video about guilt and how to live freely, and I was very encouraged by it.

Let’s see how tomorrow goes, I’m hoping I feel less burdened each day. I am not my mistakes, I am a forgiven and redeemed person.
 
Day 1/120

I guess it's fair to say that I'm battling pretty bad depression... Sometimes I just wonder if I should jump off the bridge near where I live. I don't really want to do that, but it's just ever so slightly tempting.

I feel like I have too many problems to solve, but that's just my mind lying to me. I am starting to look older, too old to be having these types of problems. Tomorrow I will go get a notebook and write out the top things I need to solve... I think it might be helpful to start physically writing things out in a notebook as I have notes on my computer, but never reference them. I also hear it activates different parts of your brain when you write things out.
 
Day 2/120

I had a really weird sleep last night. I had this dream I was arguing with a guy and woke up angry. I then thought about my neighbour and started kicking the wall in this angry half awake state. I think I damaged it slightly.

I then fell back asleep and had a very strange dream...

I mostly remember two sections. In the first part I was at my grandparents place and my grandmother (who is long dead) was there. She said something about going away and I asked her if I would see her again one more time and she said that I would.

Then there was a part where I walked into where their bedroom was and saw my own corpse on the bed and realised I was dead, just like them. I still seemed to have a second body that looked good when I looked in the mirror; I think I may have even thought it looked better. This made me feel like I had cheated death and gotten a second chance. I remember thinking "I can still get a hot girlfriend like this" and thinking about this girl I knew and loved awhile back and really felt sad I ruined that so bad.

Throughout the dream I felt a need to keep this corpse up and constantly check in the mirror that my new body looked good. At one point the corpse me's eyes popped out and turned a strange brown color. I felt a need to be concerned about this. It's like I couldn't fully abandon my old self I guess? But at least my new eyes were good!

I looked in the mirror at the end of the dream, admiring these new eyes when suddenly my normal hazel eyes turned a super pale blue and got super bloodshot and started shrinking. I then heard a booming mans voice in my head who told me some things I unfortunately don't remember, save for the last part when he said "Live without regrets" and I woke up at exactly that time. Once again in a half awake, almost sleep walk like state I never get I felt a need to log in here and put that in my signature. I then fell back asleep and slept very late...
 
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