Day 14 and 15 in the books. Good day today, I got outside and weight-lifted for the first time in a few months. It was disappointing to see how much strength I have lost, but also motivating because I want to get back to where I was and then beyond that. Stay strong Fellowship!
Day 16 and 17 in the books. I have definitely been tempted for the past couple of days. I felt myself drifting and watching riskier and riskier content online but then I stopped, walked myself through the reasons why I am doing this and then mentally reset. It really helped. I felt like I’ve discovered a new technique for myself. Just sitting down for 5 minutes and almost meditating on the reasons why I’m on NoFap. Anyway, I feel that the streak is back to being strong and I’m ready for the weekend. Have a good one lads. Stay strong Fellowship!
P.S. It seems a little quiet around here lately! Hopefully it’s because you lads are getting on and doing cool things, if you’re in a rough patch though don’t hesitate to reach out to anyone close to you
There is me and one other guy left in LOTR challenge. I understand. It's not for everybody. Many times I heard from participants that no psub rule is too much. It makes sense. We addicts just connot let go idea of a pleasure, sweet escape, oblivion. But I am one of those men, who value freedom more, even if it's very painful sometimes. Everyone is different. I know what exactly psubs are for me. I deleted my instragrams acount, I got messenger application to not go to facebook that often, I avoid news sport sections (to not see girls running around), etc. etc. etc. I should even avoid news sites altogether (if this makes sense in English) -- there is rarely anything new in this world.
I don't know. Maybe it's good that some people leave. It's better for those who actually want to become free. Don't get me wrong. I understand that this site can be toxic. But it's probably mostly toxic because of pretentious girl-men, who are always unhappy by this site and how others are doing everything wrong and not dancing by their tunes or not stroking their egos. I know what I want from these forums and I am taking it. If someday I won't need what I am taking anymore, I will leave then. But for now it's enough for me and I am not complaining about these forums.
In my five years in these forums I heard countless times that hardmodes-semen-retention is harmful. I don't know. I am 45 days hardmodes-s-r and I am not dying. Maybe tomorrow? Maybe I am paranoid, but I have doubts that those guys are actually worried about my health. They are just unhappy that somebody is willing to do difficult stuff that they are not willing to do. But as I said, I understand. It's not easy to leave such sweet pleasures behind. It's scary to take the risk. It's scary sometimes for me, too.
One more group of guys I am suspicious about - two faced ones. When I start succeeding in quitting addiction, they start ghosting me, but when I relapse, they suddenly appear out of nowhere (??????) with "I am sorry, man, you relapsed" kind of stuff. At first I thought I am paranoid but during long time here I noticed that this is a tendency and not an accident.
No problem. Just wanted to lay out "on paper" where I am now considering situation on challenges and forums. I will keep going and I will keep to be kind and loyal and wishing well to those guys who are kind, loyal and wishing well to me too.
Let's just go to gym.
EDIT. Wasn't sure if "loyal" was a good word in English so I googled.
"A loyal friend is someone who consistently demonstrates steadfastness and unwavering support in a friendship, standing by you through thick and thin. They are reliable, trustworthy, and have your back, offering emotional support and celebrating your successes. A loyal friend doesn't betray you, respects your boundaries, and offers constructive criticism when needed. "
45 days hardmode.
No coffee.
Going to sleep on time.
Day 16 and 17 in the books. I have definitely been tempted for the past couple of days. I felt myself drifting and watching riskier and riskier content online but then I stopped, walked myself through the reasons why I am doing this and then mentally reset. It really helped. I felt like I’ve discovered a new technique for myself. Just sitting down for 5 minutes and almost meditating on the reasons why I’m on NoFap. Anyway, I feel that the streak is back to being strong and I’m ready for the weekend. Have a good one lads. Stay strong Fellowship!
P.S. It seems a little quiet around here lately! Hopefully it’s because you lads are getting on and doing cool things, if you’re in a rough patch though don’t hesitate to reach out to anyone close to you
There is me and one other guy left in LOTR challenge. I understand. It's not for everybody. Many times I heard from participants that no psub rule is too much. It makes sense. We addicts just connot let go idea of a pleasure, sweet escape, oblivion. But I am one of those men, who value freedom more, even if it's very painful sometimes. Everyone is different. I know what exactly psubs are for me. I deleted my instragrams acount, I got messenger application to not go to facebook that often, I avoid news sport sections (to not see girls running around), etc. etc. etc. I should even avoid news sites altogether (if this makes sense in English) -- there is rarely anything new in this world.
I don't know. Maybe it's good that some people leave. It's better for those who actually want to become free. Don't get me wrong. I understand that this site can be toxic. But it's probably mostly toxic because of pretentious girl-men, who are always unhappy by this site and how others are doing everything wrong and not dancing by their tunes or not stroking their egos. I know what I want from these forums and I am taking it. If someday I won't need what I am taking anymore, I will leave then. But for now it's enough for me and I am not complaining about these forums.
In my five years in these forums I heard countless times that hardmodes-semen-retention is harmful. I don't know. I am 45 days hardmodes-s-r and I am not dying. Maybe tomorrow? Maybe I am paranoid, but I have doubts that those guys are actually worried about my health. They are just unhappy that somebody is willing to do difficult stuff that they are not willing to do. But as I said, I understand. It's not easy to leave such sweet pleasures behind. It's scary to take the risk. It's scary sometimes for me, too.
One more group of guys I am suspicious about - two faced ones. When I start succeeding in quitting addiction, they start ghosting me, but when I relapse, they suddenly appear out of nowhere (??????) with "I am sorry, man, you relapsed" kind of stuff. At first I thought I am paranoid but during long time here I noticed that this is a tendency and not an accident.
No problem. Just wanted to lay out "on paper" where I am now considering situation on challenges and forums. I will keep going and I will keep to be kind and loyal and wishing well to those guys who are kind, loyal and wishing well to me too.
Let's just go to gym.
EDIT. Wasn't sure if "loyal" was a good word in English so I googled.
"A loyal friend is someone who consistently demonstrates steadfastness and unwavering support in a friendship, standing by you through thick and thin. They are reliable, trustworthy, and have your back, offering emotional support and celebrating your successes. A loyal friend doesn't betray you, respects your boundaries, and offers constructive criticism when needed. "
45 days hardmode.
No coffee.
Going to sleep on time.
I am in ok moods at the moment. Met a friend to go to gym this morning. Later we chilled in the city. Nice summer weather.
I should prioritise my friends more.
I don't know. Maybe that's it for now. Not much thoughts. Bit tired. Maybe later I'll do some chores and go for an evening walk. As I already mentioned, nice weather.
Doing what I have to do. Nothing more, nothing less.
46 days hardmode.
No coffee.
Going to sleep on time.
Day 18, 19 and 20 in the books. I pulled an all nighter up in London on Saturday night. It was the last time I'm seeing a friend for awhile as he is going on holiday and it was his birthday - so it was a big thing. That being said, I feel like I'm done going out and drinking for awhile. It's all well and good taking care of your health and diet for the rest of the week if you just go out and get ruined on the weekend. I don't need it anymore. Going all night destroyed me the next day. I'm done with it. I also feel like every time I meet with friends I'm getting drunk. I want to be around them when I am sober more. It was a good night, but the last one of it's kind for awhile. Stay strong Fellowship!
There is me and one other guy left in LOTR challenge. I understand. It's not for everybody. Many times I heard from participants that no psub rule is too much. It makes sense. We addicts just connot let go idea of a pleasure, sweet escape, oblivion. But I am one of those men, who value freedom more, even if it's very painful sometimes. Everyone is different. I know what exactly psubs are for me. I deleted my instragrams acount, I got messenger application to not go to facebook that often, I avoid news sport sections (to not see girls running around), etc. etc. etc. I should even avoid news sites altogether (if this makes sense in English) -- there is rarely anything new in this world.
I don't know. Maybe it's good that some people leave. It's better for those who actually want to become free. Don't get me wrong. I understand that this site can be toxic. But it's probably mostly toxic because of pretentious girl-men, who are always unhappy by this site and how others are doing everything wrong and not dancing by their tunes or not stroking their egos. I know what I want from these forums and I am taking it. If someday I won't need what I am taking anymore, I will leave then. But for now it's enough for me and I am not complaining about these forums.
In my five years in these forums I heard countless times that hardmodes-semen-retention is harmful. I don't know. I am 45 days hardmodes-s-r and I am not dying. Maybe tomorrow? Maybe I am paranoid, but I have doubts that those guys are actually worried about my health. They are just unhappy that somebody is willing to do difficult stuff that they are not willing to do. But as I said, I understand. It's not easy to leave such sweet pleasures behind. It's scary to take the risk. It's scary sometimes for me, too.
One more group of guys I am suspicious about - two faced ones. When I start succeeding in quitting addiction, they start ghosting me, but when I relapse, they suddenly appear out of nowhere (??????) with "I am sorry, man, you relapsed" kind of stuff. At first I thought I am paranoid but during long time here I noticed that this is a tendency and not an accident.
No problem. Just wanted to lay out "on paper" where I am now considering situation on challenges and forums. I will keep going and I will keep to be kind and loyal and wishing well to those guys who are kind, loyal and wishing well to me too.
Let's just go to gym.
EDIT. Wasn't sure if "loyal" was a good word in English so I googled.
"A loyal friend is someone who consistently demonstrates steadfastness and unwavering support in a friendship, standing by you through thick and thin. They are reliable, trustworthy, and have your back, offering emotional support and celebrating your successes. A loyal friend doesn't betray you, respects your boundaries, and offers constructive criticism when needed. "
45 days hardmode.
No coffee.
Going to sleep on time.
Well said. These forums serve a different purpose for everyone. It's about finding what they mean personally for you. What I enjoy is the camaraderie, and that's the main reason why I stick around. I enjoy motivating people, seeing people's success stories and how quitting PMO has shaped their lives for the better. I also like the novelty of this thread in particular as I am a big fan of Middle-earth. It all makes me feel positive.
There are drawbacks to forums such as these as well. Bad advice, negativity and stress. People may get worked up and stressed out if they miss a check in or don't update their journals. This stress can lead to relapse. That's why it's good to understand how and why you use the forums.
I know this thread seems a little bit dark at the moment, but hopefully it's because members are getting up to good stuff and they forget it. After all, isn't that the end goal for us all? Not just to quit porn, but to forget about it altogether? The dream day for me is waking up, going to work to do what I love, hitting the gym, spending time with those who are close and doing my hobbies, and then going to bed. And when I'm lying there ready to close my eyes, I'll realize I didn't think about porn once throughout the whole day. That's where we need to get to. And if that means leaving these forums behind, then so be it.
I'm joining...I have almost 2 Days completed (about 46 hours). Its the second time, I try to PMO. First time, I did it, I quit after about 1,5 months. It was last year in summer, when I had a knee surgery and I couldn't do much activities outside. Some nights I lay awake and was really freaking out. Altough there have been times a thought about it, I relapsed and got back to normal behaviour, masturbating every night, watching a lot of series. Bingeing very hardly on disney+ and stuff like that. Because the emotional stress at work, I fell back to this old behaviour again and again. Suddenly last weekend, when I sat there playing computer games for the whole weekend, I sat there and realized, I should change something immediately. So I just watch sports since then and have not masturbated. My goal is a ninety day streak, which would be the longest, I ever had. I think, I didn't watch any porn since my last PMO streak of 1,5 months last year (about a year ago). Have you experienced the situation, that you don't really know, when your last time was watching porn, but you have the feeling, if you look it up in your browser history (even if it would still exist) you come to dangerous tides...?
I’ve had a great week; spent a few days in the countryside on retreat which was so relaxing, and a brilliant way to rest and reflect
I’m an ordained Priest in the Anglican Church! It’s not official language, but some people refer to the service in which you’re ordained as ‘getting priested’.
Been working at a summer camp with no internet connection. That's amazing! I spent 7 years in a Catholic seminary, hoping to finish up when God wills it.
179. I'm almost there boys.
As stated, been living in the wilderness, simple means, it's been awesome actually. So much beauty of there!
I will be away from work for 3 weeks. I will go to reabilitations. But they won't take all day. So, I will have more time to act stupid. Maybe I will have to come here more often to stay motivated. I know... I remember... Last time I was away from work and promised to come here more often, I didn't do that. I am not good at keeping my word. But I am learning...
I don't know... I just have to avoid passive-aggressive two-faced girl-men in these forums and I'll be fine.
I promised to be more assertive and protect my freedom. I don't have to be liked by everyone. Both in real life and in the forums, I have friends, who are men I respect -- kind, honest, learning to be honourable, being able to be assertive when needed. That should be enough for me. Greed is never helpful.
I should be thankful for my accountability buddy. He is with me since 2021. Without him I wouldn't be able to go 48 days, which for me, as a long-year addict is a substantial streak. I am so lucky to find such a loyal person! God is helping me for sure. I am very thankful!
So what is my honest situation now? Well... I went to church today, but there was a church festival going on. I prayed a little, but I noticed that I can't concentrate. Lust started to show up because of so many people... So I left and went home. Then cried for a minute or two -- partly because of sadness, partly because of relief that I didn't fall into the lust trap. No worries, I'll go to church in the evening or tomorrow, when there is way less people.
Doing what I have to do. Nothing more nothing less.
48 days hardmode.
No coffee.
Going to sleep on time.
The dream day for me is waking up, going to work to do what I love, hitting the gym, spending time with those who are close and doing my hobbies, and then going to bed. And when I'm lying there ready to close my eyes, I'll realize I didn't think about porn once throughout the whole day. That's where we need to get to. And if that means leaving these forums behind, then so be it.
Oh no... I am tempted to relapse. I would like to watch.
I am in danger right from the start of the day. Woke up earlier. My mind wanted to slide into fantasies. So had to get up from bed 1.5 hour earlier than needed to avoid relapse. That's why now I am more sleepy than I would like to be. The grey sky is not helping. But I will go to church to pray.
It is what it is. Maybe I'll write something more later -- to stay motivated and safe. We'll see.
49 days hardmode.
No coffee.
Going to sleep on time.
Day 0 (yep, here we go again)
You decide to destroy the porn ring! You’re a Hobbit now. You must take the ring to the place where it was made, Mount Doom. You left Hobbiton heading for Bree.
I am ok at the moment. Not tempted anymore. Somehow going to church and longer walk helped.
Still sleepy. But I should eat, do some chores and exercise. I won't be able to go to kickboxing or gymnazium for 3-4 weeks, but I should do physiotherapy, calisthenics.
Let's just stay strong, guys!
49 days hardmode.
No coffee.
Going to sleep on time.
I am tempted to relapse. I would like to watch.
