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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by RiseToGreatness, Sep 22, 2019.
26 days completed!
Thanks for the welcome and for putting together this challenge, it is inspiring me on my streak, even though it's only 7 days! I can't wait to leave this orc flesh behind and to join the Hobbits in the Shire to truly begin my journey
check in day 73
Thanks brother...i always need ur guidance and support
Aaand Back to 0...
So stupid, honestly.
End of day 2. Today was a bad day, but I'm taking measures to gain more control over my life where possible. So, I suppose, one emotional step backwards and two practical steps forward.
Day 30 @RiseToGreatness
After I wrote this I immediately went on to being productive. Don't let yourself down after something like this. Keep going. You'll thank yourself later
Couldn't agree more.
I have had a lot of urges this morning. I have been battling the PMO forces since I got up, and I almost masturbated in the shower. Got close several times, but then managed to break free. Then after my shower, I had the urge to look at porn, and I start to search for images (even found a couple) before I caught myself, and I fought back from the edge, closing out of the browser, and reengaging my block which I had temporarily disabled. It was only a few moments of looking at the images before I reminded myself of the life I want for myself, and I fought back. Now I am determined to not let myself get so close to the edge again because I was ultimately tempting fate, looking over the ledge, just waiting for the forces of PMO to push me off. I am just glad I had the will power to fight back. Since I got clean from porn over a month ago, I have looked at nude images, sometimes even seeking them out in movies (non-pornographic), and today on a site for artists to upload portraits (again non-pornographic), though had I ultimately engaged, and not stopped myself, or lingered for more than a handful of seconds, it would not have made a difference. I would have relapsed. Now, I am stressed and tired, but I have escaped once more. I cannot keep making excuses for myself though because even if I am not engaging, I keep going to the edge, and one day I will go over, and I will have to start all the way over. I need to fight the temptations to engage in PMO, and to stop even starting the sequence, because I know eventually, I will be too weak to resist.
54 days on the road. Have a good day brothers!
As stated earlier, I was having a lot of urges. And I have since relapsed. While I did not masturbate to the images, I did look at images and I masturbated, so I am starting back at day 0. I need to take a break from the internet, at least for a few days, so I might not be on for a few days to a couple weeks. The only problem is that I am taking three online classes, but I have some ideas on how to remedy this. If I keep to a schedule, and only use my computers for school, and then spend the rest of my time grounded in my reality, playing games and reading. This will not be permanent, but maybe for 5 to 15 days. I jut need to focus on me, and I know that one of the biggest drivers in my recovery at first was starting my journey as a Hobbit. So I might not be back until I am a Hobbit, but I definitely will not be back until at the earliest, Urah-Kai level. I need to reprove to myself, that I can do this without excuses.
A truly good way to do this is to find something to study. I do it myself, and is working quite well this last weeks. I don't know what you like, but a subject fascinating is medieval education (Trivium, Quadrivium). You know, why we don't have no more a Aquinas, a Dante, a Shakespeare, a Aristotle, a Plato?
Obs: I know Shakespeare, Aristotle and Plato were not medieval. However, the "medieval education" had it's bases on the education system of Ancient Greece and Rome. And his principles survived, despite some drastic modifications after the Renascence, until the First World War.
Day 44 Starts Today......I had a nightmare of death of my loved ones...i was weeping in the sleep and it started tears in reality...my mood is totally spoiled...i am feeling too much scared....may be all this thing is in mind but it makes me so much broken that i started weeping in reality....else everything is going good
Day 245 check in!