The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 5!

 

Day 13.

@Zapy97 Happy birthday!

By the time I turned 50, I wanted to be PM-free for the rest of my life. I may come close. I am still 50, and it looks as if I will stay free this time. It's been a little over two months since I have watched anything erotic. (Every 10 days, I get to virtually visit another country in alphabetical order in the See the World challenge mentioned in my signature; that is why I have visited Antigua and Barbuda last: it is the 6th country on the list.)

Awesome news: My wife and I had a very nice date last night here at the home, and afterward we made love. Physically, it went very well. I was able to perform much better. It gets better every time since quitting pornography. And the biggest news is that I will not be needing to move out. She and I woke up around 5 am and as we lay in bed talking, she said softly, "Don't go." I thought, "Is she sleeping?" No, she was awake, and she affirmed to me that I did not need to move out. For anyone who has seen my latest posts, you know I was scared that I would need to move and be away from her for a prolonged period of time, maybe forever. She was saying all along that we could date, but at first she was expressing that she did not know whether we would keep dating. She cried every day for about a week. This happened when I came clean about three years of lying, a lot of porn use, a lot of masturbation, and other sexual proclivities I have perpetrated before I knew her.
There was a lot for my wife to process, but now I know that she will be able to digest it fully without giving me the boot. I am incredibly grateful. I can even talk gently about buying a house with her.

My wife and I had an appointment with a housing coordinator to assess the next step toward buying a house. This was in place before the **** hit the fan. Then I revealed everything and was going to cancel the appointment and tell the coordinator that we would not be needing her services. Now, I do not need to do that. I am glad I did not call her yet. Now I can tell her, as my wife asked me to last night, to simply move the appointment to January. Three months later is a hell of a lot better than never!

I am immensely proud.

TL;DR: My wife was telling me to move out due to finding everything out about my sexual history. Now we have reconciled, and we are back on track to getting a house together! I am proud of myself for breaking free, albeit recent.

Thanks to all you fellow Fapstronauts for being here for one another including, of course, me. We will get through this together!

Peace,
Al

 

@Toni7 You will be an Uruk-Hai soon. Good job, keep it up!

 

Day 12!

 

Day 13..

Doing really well.
Gaining emotional strength every day
For the first time I am able to maintain this streak without meditation..
Actually I had pure O type OCD, Ptsd etc and I used to kinda self medicate by means of fantasies etc etc.. Which kinda acted as compulsions further worsening my mental state.. It was negative feedback loop having no end, no hope of Escaping

I have read somewhere on this site that pmo /mo addiction along with OCD is pure hell.. It is going to test every cell of your body and I can confirm it


The only way I could stop myself from relapsing was if I somehow controlled the obsessive /intrusive thoughts via meditation.. Otherwise I would relapse..
It kinda helped me manage but this was not the solution..
Then i tried exposure and response prevention therapy (ERP)..
I tried to expose myself to trigger in my own way...
And since then the OCD has fairly reduced and I am maintaining this streak without meditation..

Not to say meditation isn't healthy it is really healthy but you can imagine my mental state I needed to meditation 30 minutes everyday to maintain a clean day.. And do breathing exercises


I am really really healing mentally and emotionally and I am really happy about that...
I just wanna say that if I can do it so can you all and I am really thankful to God and you people for talking care of me and supporting me..

More power to you

 

Day 4.

 

@1punchman Keep it up, you can make Uruk-Hai in two days!

 

Great news Alex, I am really happy for you my friend. We truly lose the moment that we give up. Our fight will continue until we are victorious, and we shall fight as many times as we need to. "Life before death, strength before weakness, journey before destination" a quote that I love, once took me up until 2 months . Reading those gave me power, thank you.

 

Day 19.

 

Day 144.

 

day 12: having a lot more energy. It was a busy day but i wasn't as tired as usual. Normally i am tired after a couple hours of working. But today i could keep the energy for almost the whole day. Progress! Almost a hobbit!!

 

Day 6, an Uruk here sire! @RiseToGreatness

 

Thanks for your honesty and sharing your story! And amazing news for you (and your wife)!
Keep up the fight. as you say: We will get through this together!

Don't study too long in sequence because it takes a lot of willpower. And willpower you will need for fighting PMO. So take a break after 20-30 minutes. Drink some coffee, go walking. I you feel urges while studying, stop! Get away from your pc/laptop and do something else. While studying, lay your phone in another room. You can concentrate more on studying and it won't take much willpower to not taking your phone.

 

I generally do the most of it but walking is a good idea, definitely I will try next time. Thanks for great advice!

 

1 day under the belt...

 

Day 5

 

Wow man, looks like you've been through a lot and I can only give you props for that, great job brother! Picking urself up when you're a mess is one of the hardest, but most important things a person can do, so.. Stay strong and keep going, you have our support!

 

Good job brother!

 

Day 8 Check in!