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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by RiseToGreatness, Sep 22, 2019.
Day 103, checking in.
Wishing everyone safe travels today!
Yeah, I hear you. It isn't something you really want to do yet. I can't speak for everyone, but I have got to say that I am quickly becoming addicted to the NoFap lifestyle. Relapsing scares me. I love not looking at P and not lusting and staring at women with lust anymore. I like myself so much more now than when I am looking at P and M'ing. So I think eventually it might happen that NoFap might actually become something you prefer, even though you find it challenging now.
Anyway, Happy Birthday @Zapy97 ! Hope your day is awesome.
Happy birthday friend !!! Great day for you!
Thank you @archie.hill, I am now one day clean, and I woke up to a text from this woman I met on a dating site. She felt bad for not texting in half a week, but we may be video chatting for the first time this weekend, so I am very excited. I have tried getting clean for a couple years now, but I now want to get clean not only for myself and you guys, but also for her. I don’t know if anything will come out of this with her, but I like her and she likes me, so we will see.
Additionally, Today I told the house manager/minister at the place I live that I am a porn addict and he was very empathetic. Did not demand to know if I had looked while in the Christian house, which I was very thankful about, and he said that he too used to have trouble with porn and dopamine cravings and that unfortunately it is a very common, seldom talked about disease. He did not say he was an addict, just that he understood how hard it can be to deal with the feel good surge of dopamine from looking at porn (doing PMO). I was terrified of telling him, but he asked how I had been and I had been down due to PMO, so I was honest, and he was empathetic. So glad to live in this house. My one friend/roommate that I met here is going back to South Carolina for the month of October/November, so it is going to be a lot quieter around here without him, which is sad. But I will see him again in late November/early December, so that is good. He just has heart problems, and his doctor said he should leave Madison for a couple months because catching COVID-19 could be lethal for him, and Madison has the highest rates in the State of Wisconsin right now. So I will have to continue on for now, without my closest roommate friend, but I know that I can manage despite that.
Day 7 Check in!!
Final day of being an orc!
day 4 - Stronger and stronger day by day
Day 11. The road to healing is long a strenuous. I can't tell you you'll have a good day every day. Some will suck, on some you will not want to do the things you need to do. What I can tell you is that it leads to a good place. It will take you through some places you don't want to be. But it also starts from a place where you really don't want to stay. As Churchill said, if you find yourself going through hell - keep going! Stay with me, brothers.
Today it´s a day to say: Happy birthday to @Zapy97 ! The best present you could make to yourself is praying, staying strong and finally becoming free of PMO. I hope you´re having a good day.
@Zapy97 Happy birthday!
By the time I turned 50, I wanted to be PM-free for the rest of my life. I may come close. I am still 50, and it looks as if I will stay free this time. It's been a little over two months since I have watched anything erotic. (Every 10 days, I get to virtually visit another country in alphabetical order in the See the World challenge mentioned in my signature; that is why I have visited Antigua and Barbuda last: it is the 6th country on the list.)
Awesome news: My wife and I had a very nice date last night here at the home, and afterward we made love. Physically, it went very well. I was able to perform much better. It gets better every time since quitting pornography. And the biggest news is that I will not be needing to move out. She and I woke up around 5 am and as we lay in bed talking, she said softly, "Don't go." I thought, "Is she sleeping?" No, she was awake, and she affirmed to me that I did not need to move out. For anyone who has seen my latest posts, you know I was scared that I would need to move and be away from her for a prolonged period of time, maybe forever. She was saying all along that we could date, but at first she was expressing that she did not know whether we would keep dating. She cried every day for about a week. This happened when I came clean about three years of lying, a lot of porn use, a lot of masturbation, and other sexual proclivities I have perpetrated before I knew her.
There was a lot for my wife to process, but now I know that she will be able to digest it fully without giving me the boot. I am incredibly grateful. I can even talk gently about buying a house with her.
My wife and I had an appointment with a housing coordinator to assess the next step toward buying a house. This was in place before the **** hit the fan. Then I revealed everything and was going to cancel the appointment and tell the coordinator that we would not be needing her services. Now, I do not need to do that. I am glad I did not call her yet. Now I can tell her, as my wife asked me to last night, to simply move the appointment to January. Three months later is a hell of a lot better than never!
I am immensely proud.
TL;DR: My wife was telling me to move out due to finding everything out about my sexual history. Now we have reconciled, and we are back on track to getting a house together! I am proud of myself for breaking free, albeit recent.
Thanks to all you fellow Fapstronauts for being here for one another including, of course, me. We will get through this together!
@Toni7 You will be an Uruk-Hai soon. Good job, keep it up!
Doing really well.
Gaining emotional strength every day
For the first time I am able to maintain this streak without meditation..
Actually I had pure O type OCD, Ptsd etc and I used to kinda self medicate by means of fantasies etc etc.. Which kinda acted as compulsions further worsening my mental state.. It was negative feedback loop having no end, no hope of Escaping
I have read somewhere on this site that pmo /mo addiction along with OCD is pure hell.. It is going to test every cell of your body and I can confirm it
The only way I could stop myself from relapsing was if I somehow controlled the obsessive /intrusive thoughts via meditation.. Otherwise I would relapse..
It kinda helped me manage but this was not the solution..
Then i tried exposure and response prevention therapy (ERP)..
I tried to expose myself to trigger in my own way...
And since then the OCD has fairly reduced and I am maintaining this streak without meditation..
Not to say meditation isn't healthy it is really healthy but you can imagine my mental state I needed to meditation 30 minutes everyday to maintain a clean day.. And do breathing exercises
I am really really healing mentally and emotionally and I am really happy about that...
I just wanna say that if I can do it so can you all and I am really thankful to God and you people for talking care of me and supporting me..
More power to you
@1punchman Keep it up, you can make Uruk-Hai in two days!
Great news Alex, I am really happy for you my friend. We truly lose the moment that we give up. Our fight will continue until we are victorious, and we shall fight as many times as we need to. "Life before death, strength before weakness, journey before destination" a quote that I love, once took me up until 2 months . Reading those gave me power, thank you.