Day 3 First day back at work, thankfully no opportunity to experience urges for most of the day. My struggles arise when I’m alone, but I am fortunate enough to live with a flatmate who prevents me from staying in my head for too long. I pray my fortitude continues when I retire for the evening, but reading my Bible and praying has been a great source of strength.
Checking in ! 'Tips' followed : 1)Meditate-done 2)Stay accountable daily-done 3)Study about reboot-done 4)Take cold showers- not done, feel a bit rough 5)Follow a trigger prevention plan-done 6)Get occupied.Work on your hobbies and dreams-done 7)Practice physical exercise-done 8)Eat healthy-done 9)Sleep well- done my best ,but it was a rough night with nightmares
Guys, please take some time to read some of the posts in this forum over the last 24 hours. Where on earth today would you find a group of such honest, soul searching, truth seeking, people? I am bowled over by your posts, so so grateful to be part of this Fellowship. Thank you so much. I have no doubt that ultimate Victory shall be ours: 'Tis a lesson you should heed: Try, try, try again. If at first you don't succeed, Try, try, try again
Good luck on your method. I agree with some aspects, certainly I know that our own willpower is not enough, and that's part of the reason I believe this community is important, but God and prayer is of utmost importance to me. I think there's definitely many ways to fight addiction, just like there's many reasons why we get addicted in the first place. For some here who can't make it beyond a week or two (and I say this without judgment since I was at that stage too and I think many others have been as well) maybe this system and approach would be beneficial. I would implore anyone who has success with this method to come back and share the results and successes here or somewhere at least and encourage your fellow brothers in this struggle. And I would appreciate it if you did the same @GreenTinted60sMind Day 251
I feel the same. It must be the month of January that has us all in such an introspective mood. It has certainly made for a nice Sunday afternoon read.
@Gallade_Templar and @Slider8 Another reset today. Thank you for taking me to task and prompting me to reflect on the nature of my reset. I've been pushing myself harder in running which I think is just bringing more fire to the front of my mind making me want to blow energy off in any way possible. Just really watching P for the rush and no MO. Its this odd feeling of bleakness. My life is full of activity and I have been working on improving on the piano. Subconsciously I think there is the uncertainty of what the future holds with additional medical tests. With that news (which is good at the time, nothing emergent/urgent) I have difficulty answering the question "what do I want from life?" I have been working on not wanting anything but when facing the possibility (hopefully a very small chance) of cancer all that I want to do is feel good. And in the moment P brings me to a place of extacy but is serves no real purpose. I'm setting running goals and that almost feels like it is becoming an addiction which is cool, but what is a practical amount of training? 4:30 am mornings 3-4 times a week and 12-20 miles a week wears on the body a bit but I'll look into upping those numbers in order to better serve my personal PMO goals. Tried Wim Hof breathing for the first time today and looking to introduce that into my meditation practice. Just feel like I was hit by a pretty serious curveball the last few days. Less time between the urge and acting out. Moving forward I plan to step away from the computer when urges bubble to the surface. Thanks guys!
Day 0 I relapsed late last night after relapsing previously on New Year's Eve. I just get right back on the horse and try again. My best friend and I discussed potentially dating each other down the road, and if we ever fully take that step I want to be clean so that I know and she knows I only have eyes for her. I have known her for five years, and last night I expressed the desire to date her, and she said she thought about dating me too, but that she is not ready for a relationship just yet. While I should not wait forever, I will wait for her to be ready for the time being and then I will focus on getting clean for myself so that if we ever take our relationship to the next level, she will be the only woman I am with (versus the digital women I have spent years lusting over.) Best, Mathman1994
Man, you said something that was really important to me for years, the verge of death and the purpose of life. Your purpose and your death are bonded, you cannot understand, or give meaning to your life without the felling of actual death (for the ones who never felt what is like, read the "Death of Ivan Illich" by Tolstoi). So, if you really want to dicover the purpose of your life think that you will die soon, and you know that you will only have time to do one thing before you die, what would you do? Write a book, create a big Company, raise your son? The point is not about what you could gain doing that, remember you will die soon, even if you don't know when, the point is what you will give to the world. Think about that if you want to find a meaning or propose, this execise will be very enlightening.
Day 4 complete. Had a sexualized dream last night but when I woke up I told myself it wasn't real and that sort of behavior was a lie. I don't intend to let myself be drawn in so easily ever again. Otherwise, a good day. I'm running late and I need to get to bed so it won't be a big check-in for me tonight but I hope you are all doing well, and I agree that it's been incredible to read all the deep, heartfelt posts lately.
Day 16 in progress! Interesting subjects being discussed in this thread the last couple of days. It's really great that we can all tallk about the things we have on our mind here. Let's stay strong everyone!
Day 27. I was able to get up with my alarm this morning without feeling overtired. Hopefully I can get back on a normal sleep schedule with work starting back up
Checking in on Day 29 -- spent a lot of time playing chess, did some meditation, and then focused on myself today. I managed to train three times last week which I'm happy if not proud of it (though I'm making a note to myself to be careful of my ego since becoming strong and fit changes your mentality -- a higher amount of confidence can change into arrogance and pride quickly), whilst also dedicating myself to my drinking water goal. The urges when I woke up weren't as bad as usual; though, this can only mean silence before a stronger wave of urges come. I won't fall for that. I have to be prepared for any urges that come up, especially because I'm now a month or so into my no-PMO journey. I'm almost finished with my second book; the Art of War, which I've found to be not as life-changing as Ego is the Enemy but it still has valuable lessons, if not insightful notes. It can definitely be applied to our lives and, rather, becoming free of our PMO addictions, being prepared to face our ego and being able to control it.
