The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Back to 2 days clean. A little tempted to act out again but I know the benefits of the long term if I don't and that's what I prefer. Those benefits over a short dopamine rush.
Realized I was wasting way too much time on Simcity mobile game and deleted it. All for the better, right?!

 

Starting back after a long relapse. Day 1 as an orc

 

Crazy idea. I'll try!

 

I need help!

Anxiousness, insecurity, downright vulnerable and weak. This is my state, and i feel like i've been masturbating 10 times a day, despite abstained for 2 months now. I'm not a porn addict, neither do I indulge in pmo. What is going on with me guys? Shouldn't I be feeling confident and secure when I doing this discipline. I feel the absolute opposite. My insecurity is through the roof during social situations. My inner state is of fear and insecurity, so much that I nearly jumped out my skin when a dog barked at me while on my way to work. This is the exact scene around 119 days that I woke up on 119th day and decided it was not worth it. It's heartbreaking guys. What do I do? If I don't get an answer to this I'm going to conciously relapse and end my streak and probably give up on nofap forever.

 

7 Days Complete. Feeling good

 

Hey group. Checking on day 2 as an orc. We will climb the ranks together on this journey! Godspeed to all!

 

Hold on brother we are with you.I think that state is called returning symptoms and it is kind of inevitable step of recovery so everyone will go through something similar sooner or later. You have to persevere through this, it's similar to the first day of fasting when hunger burns you from inside you are weak and it's hard to breathe and the only way to get through is believe in God, believe that you do that not just for yourself but for us all as well. Keep your faith strong and never give up this will pass and you will become stronger person capable to show others way through this state. Maybe it will be better if you could take a few days of work to chill at home untill this state has passed? Have some long walk in the fresh air, listen to calming music, cook yourself a good-hearty meal, read some good book ! You gonna be ok and back on the wagon in no time at all!

 

"it’s essential to keep using until you have finished the book completely. This may appear to be a contradiction, and this instruction to continue masturbating to porn causes more objection than any other, but as you read further your desire to use porn will gradually be reduced."

What??? Keep using? Ummm, no thanks. I don't think this method will work for me. I am struggling with getting my head straight as it is, going back to day 0 sounds like a really bad idea.

 

Thanks for the support and the tip
I saw so many posts talking about it and already started reading it
Great book

 

Day 1!

 

Day 41. Checking in. I am definitely feeling my sex drive return. My heart races when I see an attractive girl and I really would like to approach her. I am holding off for now as I would really like to get through a 90 day reset. During my last reset, I met a girl about halfway and I felt like I could have used more time to get to where I needed to be.

 

@I Am Somebody Sounds like you are touching the wound you carry inside man. At least that is how I relate to what you are saying above. A wise man told me that the wound never goes away, no matter how much you numb it with whatever sedative you use, unless you connect to it and listen to it. Also sounds like you are very coherent and together but perhaps just need to talk through some of your deeper issues with a professional which is extremely common. This doesn't mean you are nuts, quite the opposite in fact, it sounds like you are waking up from a bad nightmare. Stay with it man, do some mindful breathing (I recommend the Ten Percent app) - don't run away from this experience, you are coming in contact with yourself, but reach out to someone (best would be a professional therapist or a priest, rabbi, etc...) to talk through & accompany you where you are now.

 

@LuckyMan Hi Man, there is a caveat to this in Chapter 2 "Provided that you’re not someone who had never become addicted (reading for your significant other) or had quit (or is in the fasting days of a “porn diet”),"

That said immersing yourself in this book can be detrimental if you do not read the whole book. Anyone who reads the smoking version of this book stops smoking, the only ones that don't are the ones that stop half way through.

I read the book on a Sunday cover to cover with no distractions, and the little monster inside me was screaming urges at me because it knows that this book will kill it forever.

 

I am thinking that this is probably a good strategy for when you are addicted to nicotine. If you aren't ready to quit smoking yet, it makes sense to keep smoking while you are educating yourself on how to quit. But for me, I don't see this as a good option.

 

Hi @RiseToGreatness does 61 days meanI have reached the Elven realm of Lorien?

 

Yes you are spot on. Also definitely better to not read it if you feel it will be detrimental.

But just to be clear, you absolutely do not need to go back to day zero to read this book. As long as we read every chapter, it is still hugely effective for those of us who have already given up, because it really solidifies our decision to quit and helps celebrate our freedom with assured confidence.

 

Day 4

 

Monday check-in

Today I have:
- prayed
- meditated
- taken a cold shower (15 seconds)
- tackled school work

Still need to:
- read about addiction and recovery
- exercise (light)

I feel pretty good today. I know that that will change, as feelings come and go. I just want to return to the better version of me of 2-3 years ago and go beyond even that!

 

Day 18

Another seemingly normal day, but whenever the temptation begins it keeps hitting me harder and harder! Really is a mental battle to tell myself I don’t need to give in, and that if I did relapse to remember how awful I would feel.

It really did feel like being chased by the Nazgûl! Thankfully I managed to jump on to the Buckleberry Ferry, and now I’m on my way to Bree!

 

I am in!