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The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by RiseToGreatness, Sep 22, 2019.

Should the Thread Title be extended?

Poll closed Jun 21, 2020.
  1. No, leave like that: "The Lord of the Rings Challenge"

    18 vote(s)
    54.5%
  2. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Fellowship of Nofap"

    15 vote(s)
    45.5%
  3. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: Rising Fellowship of Eärendil"

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  4. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Journey to Mount Doom"

    5 vote(s)
    15.2%
  5. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Quest of the Ring-bearer"

    6 vote(s)
    18.2%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Ciceron

    Ciceron Fapstronaut

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    Day 6. Uruk-Hai.

    Congrats!

    St. Michael Arcangel, pray for and defend us!
     
  2. kaerhal

    kaerhal Fapstronaut

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    4,225
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    Day 31

    Quite a day! I received some terrific news, completed one of the most challenging projects I’ve ever attempted, and I’m very chuffed with how well it turned out!

    Despite today’s highs, I had an absolutely awful start to my morning; I dreamt that I knowingly sacrificed my progress to include in PMO which made me feel awful even after I realised it hadn’t happened - this type of dream has happened to me before, I can’t quite wrap my head around why! I’ve also been struggling with an erection most of the day, but had the happy realisation that I didn’t want to ‘get rid of it’ and let nature take its course.

    I can really feel my mind beginning to turn against this addiction, onwards to Moria!
     
  3. Silverwolf

    Silverwolf Fapstronaut

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    Day 6, made it to Uruk-Hai! I felt unmotivated at certain times throughout the day and had to give myself pep talks to get some work done, but once I start it always gets easier. Idk if a lack of motivation is a symptom of the addiction but I hope that goes away. I also meditated and got good sleep. Onto becoming a hobbit!
     
  4. HE^MAN

    HE^MAN Distinguished Fapstronaut

  5. Cartographer

    Cartographer Fapstronaut

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    Day 17,

    Still in it brothers and sisters. Did fish a bit but blockers for insta and P kept me from viewing anything inappropriate. Bed here soon.

    Thank you again for walking this path with me Fellowship!
     
  6. eagle rising

    eagle rising Fapstronaut

    The moment you realize you don't know why the dream come about don't worry about it. Don't dwell on it; you'll be losing energy and time. Move on. Your subconscious already knows why. The reason why will show itself later on if it needs to. Awesome streak!
     
  7. eagle rising

    eagle rising Fapstronaut

    Lacking motivation has very little to do with addiction. Take care in what you ascribe to be symptoms of P addiction. It will do you good. Motivation is either there or not, everyone has the capacity to bring this up no matter what. Become a Hobbit! We are cheering you on!
     
  8. sunn

    sunn Fapstronaut

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  9. Day 5 complete!

    One more day and I'll be an Uruk-Hai again. It's been far too long; working on Day 6 has been a major challenge the past couple streaks. Please pray for me, Fellowship, while I get over this hurdle once more.

    I did have a number of urges today, to M, not P. I had nowhere to go so I spent all day in the apartment. Getting some news that I didn't do as well as I would've liked on an assignment turned into a stress/frustration trigger, but I told myself that relapsing would only make those negative feelings worse.

    The book I'm reading had a nice, short meditation on patience. We can be as strong as we like going through urges in one moment, but if we don't back it up with true, humble patience, the urges will come around a second time and that's when they'll get us.
     
    Silverwolf, sunn, HE^MAN and 7 others like this.
  10. Mr. Sinister

    Mr. Sinister Fapstronaut

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    Day 0 (a good thing, somehow)

    Below will be an analysis from a new angle, one that I was entirely blind to. I am not looking for a critique. But if you wish to give feedback or comments, be aware that the flaws in my processing are just the parts I am still pondering daily. I think a lot, and as you'll see, there is some extent to which it can be manifested into prose. Albeit, not very well.

    Disclaimer: Anything negative I say about Christianity isn't directed at Christians nor its doctrines. It is directed at my parent's interpretation and influence on me in terms of what I can now say, with confidence, is dogma. If it doesn't apply to you, I am not talking to you!

    I was born into a Christian environment, raised to be the perfect child yet fallen away once thinking for himself. Prior to falling away from the faith, I was what I can only describe as sexually straight, platonically homo, and romantically ace (ace means none, like asexual). I spent a good chunk of brain growth exposed solely to straight porn, and I still am aside from the occasional 'reassurance' for my HOCD where I go for things I know I am actually into.

    A year ago when I was still a junior in high school I took a psychology class for graduation credit (nothing else was interesting to an anti-science Christian such as my younger self). They mentioned something called classical conditioning.

    Google: a learning process that occurs when two stimuli are repeatedly paired; a response that is at first elicited by the second stimulus is eventually elicited by the first stimulus alone.

    In simpler words, what was once neutral becomes exciting when associated with something one actually does find exciting.

    This isn't enough for me to attribute my sexuality to it at the time of learning about it. That doesn't happen yet. I was in a rather alright position all things considered, still in denial, though, at this point. The year before I met a guy who turned my world upside down (pretty much a distant memory now), and boy did it seem like the butterfly effect come to life. To spare detail, we got really emotionally close and he confessed feelings for me. Instantaneously I was overwhelmed with emotion, unable to escape this heart-pumping dilemma I was now in. A Christian having feelings for someone of the same gender? Forbidden by all standards of my household, I dare say.

    After a while, I set out to prove the Bible wasn't really against us homosexuals. I thought I had succeeded for a period, then my favorite youth pastor corrected me (I indirectly told him about the idea, never told him I had feelings for anyone). Before he did that I had a week of pure bliss, a blooming love. A perfect balance between sexual, platonic, and romantic. I lost attraction for girls at that point, and that was OK. But after he had 'corrected' me, I felt the ultimate sense of hopeless, empty dread in my heart. This other guy was Christian, too, so he had to accept it the same way I did.

    As I mentioned in other posts, I spent the next half-year or more burying my feelings deep down until all I knew was straight. By the time I was a junior I was in the last phase of letting go of who I was becoming. My parents had found out, and I was borderline bullied by them. Emotionally manipulated, too. Not the worry of this analysis, however. I couldn't give a shit what anyone says about me now.

    After I felt I was OK again, I tried finding a girl to date. As luck would have it, a very VERY beautiful girl was the one to approach ME. Now, keep in mind, my self-worth and confidence were near zero at this point. Between my parents, perceived flaws, and pressure at my mistakes, I saw nothing in myself. I was shocked, wondering if it was some sort of joke. I went along with it, soon realizing this stunning goddess was being serious with me. Head over heels for me. . . even. She's an Instagram model, bruh.

    I thought it was great, decided to try and get it going. Then COVID hit and everything was shut off before I could ask her to prom (junior still lol). I had a lot of thinking time and still do, part of me is glad this COVID stuff happened (even if my parents think Bill Gates is going to inject us with microchips with George Soros' faces on them, which is both saddening and funny). The relationship broke off with time, and luckily this happened before I began to investigate my faith. One thing led to another, as mentioned before, I could be gay now. Woohoo.

    Again, HOCD hit.

    "What if it was all a lie and you were always straight?"

    This question and many like it bothered me until tonight. But something clicked. Something profound. Two words I mentioned already.

    Classical conditioning.

    Everything in my life has conditioned my brain to reject and doubt anything that isn't cis, straight, and conservative.

    EVERYTHING. The biggest player in this game, and with a very unique attack, is porn. Both when I was straight and gay, porn with girls in it has always been sucking away at my life force, manipulating and bending my mind.

    First, it was great, then it was guilt based (Christian morality), then it was degrading (I was obsessed with testosterone gain at the time, ditching masturbation supposedly helped, and from what I saw it did indeed help), then it was annoying, then emotional, then it got me to sob uncontrollably out of fear, then I felt empty, then I felt neutral, then I felt mad and in dire need of change, now it feels so. . . clear. After all these relapses, I finally found the source of my issue. I need to address the conditioning.

    I want to feel free to put on a mini skirt in my free time when I am home alone, to feel happy with it where nobody else will find me. I want to date and love a guy who has more feminine attributes. I want to be friends with girls without anything more coming out of it. I want to be ME. I will be, and now that I have what I can only assume is the full picture, I am able to finally obtain it.

    Everything I was told not to do feels so much better, almost like no amount of classical conditioning could keep it down.

    Everything I was stopped from doing is going to become commonplace.

    There is only one more issue. I am scared I might be wrong somehow.

    Yeah, there is probably something I am missing here. But I am going to do it anyway.

    So I am going to make it to 500 days with zero relapses and avoid any stimulating images I find, male or female. Any thoughts I have that are unwanted will be met with annoyance, not anxiety. Any thoughts I do want will be encouraged and rewarded, but not held onto.

    I am going to go to bed consistently at 9:30, I am going to aim for 100% on my classwork, I am going to learn about all sorts of things I love, I am going to make the difference on a global scale that few have the determination nor guts to try, I am going to leave my mark as an individual unphased by what others want for me. I love myself, and I am going to treat myself right.

    rasggdsgsdrwadawgsagadsfbvadrgs.jpg

    From now on my logs will not contain anything by a simple 'day X'. I am satisfied leaving off with this information here. Good night, it is an hour past my bedtime. :)
     
    Silverwolf, sunn, HE^MAN and 2 others like this.
  11. jimmyanderson

    jimmyanderson Fapstronaut

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  12. Slider8

    Slider8 Fapstronaut

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    I disagree with SPAM REMOVED (spam code #001) - REPORT TO MODERATION opinion on will power. The willpower we have is sufficient to accomplish our every purpose if you learn to apply it in the right way, but if instead of using your willpower to turn the key to open the door you use your legs to open it by kicking and blaming willpower for your failure ....You have to think again and use a smart way not the brute force,dumb way to applying your willpower to accomplish your goals. And do not take the advice of SPAM REMOVED (spam code #001) - REPORT TO MODERATION blindly(because there are quite a few blunders and it was created by same people like we are(=prone to make mistakes) , think for yourself and judge from your own experience. Another confusing idea presented by SPAM REMOVED (spam code #001) - REPORT TO MODERATION is that PMO is not a habit -IT IS,and any addiction is a deeply entrenched harmful habit.
     
    Silverwolf, sunn, LuckyMan and 2 others like this.
  13. rotten_tomato

    rotten_tomato Fapstronaut

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  14. j0rdi3

    j0rdi3 Fapstronaut

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    MOTIVATION BOOST; watch this video




    Who's still pumped to destroy THE ONE RING OF PORN-DOR?!
     
  15. OttarrTheVendelCrow

    OttarrTheVendelCrow Fapstronaut

    325
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    Day 55. I caught myself fantasizing this morning. I need to be more diligent in getting out of bed. I cannot get complacent now.
     
  16. UpInSmokeTour

    UpInSmokeTour Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, I guess that's what I was trying to say. I've had it happen to myself many times. You THINK PMO'ing will satisfy you for a short time, but you'll actually instantly regret it as soon as you start the PMO session and then it becomes almost impossible to stop what you're doing, since the adrenaline has taken control of your mind. The regret will last multiple weeks and it will make you feel like crap.
    I was reminding myself this, so I would avoid an actual relapse and keep my focus strong!
     
  17. CrimsnBlade

    CrimsnBlade Fapstronaut

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  18. CrimsnBlade

    CrimsnBlade Fapstronaut

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    Could not agree with this more. I didn't really start defeating this addiction (and I'm still working on it, believe me, it's still hard even now, 111 days free) until I went a sought out professional help. On top of that, it takes effort to find the right counselor/therapist for you. Not everyone finds the right one on the first try. Until I went and started seeing a CSAT who really started teaching me what sexual addiction was, I wasn't able to really start winning. That along with the teachings in the Freedom Fight (link in signature) have been one of the biggest helps for me as an addict.
     

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