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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by RiseToGreatness, Sep 22, 2019.
Checking in on Day 59.
Played video games today
didn't feel good
26 days. Still getting sneaky strong urges. Caught myself fishing last night after work...brain on autopilot. There was a link on facebook about ballet dancers lol, it was a video about international tutu day. I didn't even notice for like 20 minutes, then when the urge hit I woke up and put the phone down.
Day 57. Feeling content today. Some of the anxiety stirred up by approaching the girl in the gym has subsided. I find that writing about my emotions helps them to dissipate. I am using the pages to extract the thoughts from my mind and trap them in the writing.
I relapsed today. However, I want to change my perspective to the situation. I am not sad that I relapsed, I am happy that I was able to control my desire for 19 days. So, my next goal is 20! Of course it doesnt mean that I'm gonna relapse at 20th day What I meant was that I will set my goal high enough to push myself, but not too high to discourage myself. Let's suppose that I relapsed at day 20. It means that I watch p and masturbate twice in 39 days! Considering the fact that I've been addicted to this for many years, it is a great progress!
All I want to say is that we should be proud ourselves just for trying to get rid of this addiction. Of course there will be bumps on the road, but if you decide to stop the car, that's when you lost!
Have a great day everyone!
@RiseToGreatness I am Orc by the way
Day 19 Checking In!
Day 40 check in. Trying to pass through Caradhras. Eerily similar to the blizzard we just had in NYC
Check in Day 9
Day 2 (late, should have said this last night)
Great outlook! You got this, friend. Piece by piece you'll get this chip off your shoulder!
Day 3 Check in!
This is where I relapsed last streak yet this time...I'm going all in!as Gandalf Saïd to King Theoden "too much have you sat in the shadows!".
Though as you may all know.. I must thread carefully before the end! I'm going on a walk!
Day 13. Looking forward and trying to be a better person everyday.
God bless you brothers and sisters.
bro, i wanted to reply to you yesterday but i was on my way to log off
well, i think those issues are very common and i totally can relate to all of what you said.
well, what can be said? the peak experience. that´s is very common and most addicts struggle with that "nothing will be like that experience" "my life will be forever dull" etc etc. but that way of thinking is totally devoted to the addiction, it´s the addiction that causes that high atraction.
imagine all other addictions, say junk food per example, if one junk food addict would come to you and say: "ei, are you not stuffing yourself with chips and burguers and hot dogs and chocolate cake? don´t you feel you´re missing out on life?"
you, who are not addicted to junk food, what would you say to him? that guy truly feels and beliefs that stuffing oneself is the greatest human experience possible. he has the same conviction that you have about porn.
only addicts feel that way about their object of addiction. non-addicts don´t give a fuck about "xyz" experience. it can happen or it cannot, it really doesn´t matter.
here´s JK talking about the difference between "extreme highs" and "enduring highs", minute 8:30.
that kind of nostalgia that you felt about porn is very normal. that´s why you must block yourself from dangerous situations because the pull of the addiction is very strong, so i suggest you revise your triggers prevention plan.
about the pleasure thing, notice that it is a false sense of pleasure, pmo creates the tension itself and then, aparently, releases that tension through the orgasm. but you got to see this by yourself. i invite you to do a pmo session and stop, really stop during the session and pay attention to yourself. what are you feeling? pleasure, excitment? or are you feeling a nervous wreck? this is really important because it´s part of the brainwashing that we have been believing all this time.
pmo doesn´t create pleasure, it creates tension! and then - partially - reliefs it. pmo is like a man who burns the forest and then join the firefighters to put out the fire. worst than that, he takes the credits for putting out the fire. worst even than that, when he puts the fire out he always leaves a small fire alive for the next attack.
the forest is your life my brother.
i hope this helps
watch out bro. try to be alert for those situations. the sooner you recognize fishing, the safer you´ll be . in my last relapse it took me 5 days!! to recognize and accept that i was fishing. and look what happened
I'm not even sure on what day I am, but I didn't fap and I am happy!
there is an app called headspace that started as a meditation app, but now it's so much more.
I just finished a run session that was narrated by Kevin hart. this is such a great app for self love and peace of mind.
Check in Fellowship
The following brothers have upgraded and reach places in Middle Earth. Congratulations!!!
@americanbison - Uruk-Hai (i think i skip you yesterday bro. i stand correct )
@cassius900 - Pass of Caradhras / Misty Mountains
@I will break free - Bridge of Khazad-Dûm / Moria
Let´s welcome our new members:
I hope everyone is going safe and sound in the Fellowship. Have a great my brothers and sisters!! Checking out.
If you’re like many people, as soon as you climb into bed you’re already on your favorite porn site, probably
already forgetting until reminded. It’s become second nature. Similarly, porn relieving boredom is another
fallacy because boredom is a frame of mind; occurring when you’ve been deprived for a long time or are trying
to cut down.
The actual situation is this, when you’re addicted to the supernormal pull of internet porn and then try to
abstain, it feels like there’s something missing. If you have something to occupy your mind that isn’t stressful,
you can go for long periods of time without being bothered by the absence of the drug. However, when you’re
bored there’s nothing to take your mind off it, so you feed the monster. When you’re indulging yourself and
not trying to stop or cut down, even firing up private browsing becomes subconscious. This ritual is automatic;
if the user tries to remember sessions during the last week, they’re only able to remember a small proportion of
them, like the very last one or the session after a long abstinence.
The truth being that porn increases boredom indirectly because orgasms make you feel lethargic and instead
of undertaking an energetic activity, users tend to prefer lounging around, bored and relieving their withdrawal
pangs. Countering the brainwashing is important because users tend to view porn when bored, our brains
wired to interpret porn as interesting. Similarly, we’ve also been brainwashed into believing sex – even bad
sex – aids relaxation. It’s a fact that when sad or under stress, couples want to have sex. In the absence of
discrimination between tantric and propagative sex, watch how quickly you want to get away from each other
after the mandatory orgasm is achieved. If the couple had just decided to hug, speak or cuddle and go to sleep,
they’d have felt relieved.
Masturbation and sex don’t help concentration, when you’re trying to concentrate you automatically try and
avoid distractions. Therefore, when a user wants to concentrate, they don’t even think – automatically opening
the browser, feeding the little monster and partially ending the craving. They get on with the matter at hand,
already forgetting they’ve viewed porn. After years of dopamine flooding the neurological changes affect abilities
such as accessing information, planning and impulse control.
You’re also driven to provide novelty for the next session as the same stuff no longer generates enough dopamine
and opioids. So you’ll have to roam the internet streets for novelty, fighting the pull to cross the line towards
shocking material, which in turn generates more stress and leaves you unfulfilled after finishing.
Concentration is also adversely affected as the dopamine receptors are culled due to natural tolerance to the
large surges, reducing the benefit of smaller dopamine boosts from natural destressors. Your concentration
and inspiration will be greatly boosted as this process is reduced. For many, it’s the concentration aspect that
prevents them from succeeding with the willpower method, they could put up with the irritability and bad
temper, but the failure to concentrate on something difficult once their crutch is removed ruins many.
Loss of concentration that users suffer when trying to escape isn’t due to the absence of sex, let alone porn.
You have mental blocks when you’re addicted to something and when you have a mental block, what do you
do? You fire up the browser - which doesn’t cure the block - so then what do you do? You do what you have
to do, getting on with it just as non-users do.
When you’re a user nothing is blamed on the cause, users never have sexual dysfunction, just occasional down
time. The moment you stop using, everything that goes wrong is blamed on the reason you stopped. Now when
you have a mental block, instead of just getting on with it, you begin to say “If only I could check my harem
now, it would solve all my problems”. You then begin to question your decision to quit and escape from the
If you believe that porn is a genuine aid to concentration, worrying about it will guarantee that you’ll be unable
to concentrate. Doubt, not the physical withdrawal pangs creates the problem. Always remember, it’s the user
who suffers pangs, not non-users."
Checking in on day 16!
Day 112 complete. Missed a couple days I think. Things have been crazy busy lately. Dealing with stress but thankful that I haven't let that be a trigger to relapse. Lots of prayer and using new ways of coping that I've learned from therapy and stuff. Praise God.
Gandalf's history to entertain you while you are having a nice cup of tea !