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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by RiseToGreatness, Sep 22, 2019.
Day 62. Feeling anxious this morning. I had a very vivid wet dream. I thought I woke up wondering if I had reached orgasm. I can already feel the dreaded chaser effect this morning. My mind is racing a bit and I feel worried about things that were not crossing my mind yesterday. I need to make it through this one.
What fine weather we are having in the The Shire this time of year.
Day 118 complete. Ithilien is coming into view!
Checking in for day 05. I forgot to login yesterday.
Lot's of work to do. I did more social interactions, even went out with a friend. Sadly I didn't read anything yesterday, but hopefully I can manage to do that today. Also went to the gym.
Checking in. I'd been in a really low period of relapse last week. It brought a lot of self-hate to the surface, which I'm thankful for. I have a pattern where I am happier to post on the days I feel like I'm "succeeding" and afraid when I've "failed", even though I've told myself not to follow those metrics any more. The past few days I've started taking actions again to change my mindset - setting up a habit tracker and learning a new journaling technique. I'm thankful for this challenge continuing!
My Fellowship, i regret to inform that i have relapsed. this makes 3 times now in the past 30 days, which tells that i´m downgrading in my reboot. I was fishing in the last days, careless about my triggers and payed the price. This night i couldn´t sleep even thought i tried several times. The temptations become stronger and i collapse.
There was also another thing that is still an issue to me: the counting is still nagging me. i deleted my counter as you know but knowing that i´m on this journey still creates pressure on me, like yesterday “man, still 3 more days to become a hobbit, shit ”.
So i definitely got to recognize that for me counting has become a burden. In the beginning of the nofap forums counting has helped me reach high numbers and many months of sobriety, but now it has become counter productive.
So i will leave the counter and the journey of the ring alltogether. And i feel relief since i took this decision. But fear not!! i will still report in . i will not leave the Fellowship since this thread is very valuable in the reboot process of myself and all members, and of course needs to be updated. I will simply not take part on the journey of the Ring and call myself the “Chronicler” of your journey. So ironically i will not complete the challenge that i have designed , but the Fellowship will help me to reboot anyway
So the Chronicler checks out for today. Have a great day brave Fellowship!!! See you tomorrow
I'm feeling motivated and all seems good, but I noticed that my addiction tried to pull one up on me by promising good things... unproven illusions to bring me back to a place we know all too well.
"You've done the 90 days, why don't you take a rest and relax your body a little?" the voice tried to conceptualize.
Long story short... by this time, relapsing would be as stressful as, doing nothing on a week-end while trying to relax as responsibilities await.
Day 165. Checking in.
Here is how I view my counter, put simply:
It responds to me, not the other way around.
It is not a full reset if it ticks back to zero, it just marks the day that you don't meet your goals.
Day 18. Looking forward and getting stronger.
Saint Damien of Molokai. Pray for Us
Checking in on day 21!
Currently gliding through with no issues
Day 6! Uruk-Hai
With boats given by the Elfs we sail on the river Anduin. The journey continues south to Amon Hên
Stay strong brothers!
4 trod on
In a weird struggle at the moment; I’m not being aroused by usual triggers like you might find on social media, but I’m turned on by a huge desire to have sex with my girlfriend! This shouldn’t be cause for concern haha, as we’re waiting until marriage, but I’m having real trouble because my feelings for her are growing and therefore my sexual feelings are also.
Any suggestions on fighting these fantasies?
Day 8 Check in as a Uruk-Hai!!