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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by RiseToGreatness, Sep 22, 2019.
thanks bro, that´s the point
well, your age is the age of experimentation, there´s no rule about that. so do as you feel . but i suggest you let it flow and see what happens.
just be aware than on the addiction side all kinds of sexual stimulation are dangerous for you, since they will increase urges and in turn create greater risks of pmo.
Checking in with my new rank Fellowship
No objections so far, so i thank your support
About the counter, there´s several feedback of brothers supporting the counter and the challenge, so indeed one size does not fit all . so once again, i encourage brothers to follow their own paths and implement the strategies that works best for them. my exception is not an exception, any one who wishes to join the Fellowship but doesn´t want to take the journey, are free to do so. The power of the group is very positive and it´s a mutual benefit for all
So, let´s get going
The following brothers have upgraded and reach places in Middle Earth. Congratulations!!!
@Toni7 - Uruk-Hai
@Ashen One - Hobbit / Hobbiton (your journey has started my brother . Good luck!!! )
@MyGodandMyAll27 - Buckleberry Ferry / Shire
@jaberwaki - Amon Sûl / Eriador
@Strugglingforyears @OttarrTheVendelCrow - Anduin River / Wilderland
Have a great day brave Fellowship!!!
Continuing with easy_peasy.
"Chapter 9 Health
This is the area where the brainwashing is the greatest with users – particularly the young and single – who think they’re aware of the health risks but aren’t. Many kid themselves by saying they’re prepared to accept the consequences. If your internet router had a function that played an alarm tone with a warning when you hit a porn site saying – “Up –until now you’ve gotten away with it, but if you stay another minute your head will explode.” Would you have stayed? If you’re in doubt about the answer try walking up to a cliff, standing on the edge with your eyes closed and imagining having the choice of either quitting porn or walking up blindfolded.
There’s no doubt what your choice would be, but by burying your head in the sand and hoping that you’ll wake up one morning and not want to watch porn anymore, you accomplish nothing. Users cannot allow themselves to think of the health risks, if they do the addiction’s illusory enjoyment goes. This explains why shock treatments are so ineffective in the first stages of quitting, it’s only non-users who bring themselves to read about the destructive brain changes.
Take this common conversation with users, generally younger ones.
Me: “Why do you want to stop?”
User: “I read in a pick-up artist’s blog that it’s good to stop for four days to amp myself up.”
Me: “Aren’t you worried about the health risks?”
User: “No, I could step under a bus tomorrow.”
Me: “But would you deliberately step under a bus?”
User: “Of course not.”
Me: “Do you not bother to look left and right when you cross the road?”
User: “Of course I do.”
Exactly, they go through a lot of trouble not to step under a bus and the odds are thousands to one against it happening. Yet the user risks the near certainty of being crippled by their addiction and appears to be completely oblivious. Such is the power of the brainwashing, internet porn is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Isn’t it strange that if we felt there was the slightest fault in an airplane we wouldn’t go up in it – even though the risks are millions to one – yet we take more than a one-in-four certainty with porn and are apparently oblivious to it? What does the user get out of this? Absolutely nothing!
Another common myth is depression or peevishness. Many younger people aren’t worried about their health because they don’t suffer any of the depression or melancholy. The depression or stress isn’t the disease, it’s a symptom. Younger people in general don’t feel the irritability or depression created due to their body’s natural ability to produce more dopamine. As they age or lives encounter serious setbacks, their already depleted resources are overworked and they’ll experience full blown symptoms. When older users feel stressed, depressed or irritated, it’s because nature’s fail safe mechanisms are protecting the nervous system from excessive dopamine flooding through trimming receptors. The user also develops other neurological changes that keep them in the rut.
Think of it this way, if you had a nice car and allowed it to rust without doing anything about it, that would be pretty stupid. It would quickly become an immovable heap of rust, incapable of transporting you anywhere. However, it wouldn’t be the end of the world as it’s only a question of money. But your body is the vehicle that carries you through life. We all say that our health is our greatest asset, ask any sick millionaire. Most of us can look back on an illness or accident in our lives where we prayed to get better. By being a porn user, you’re not only letting the rust get in and doing nothing about it, you’re systematically destroying the one vehicle used to go through your entire life.
Wise up. You don’t have to do this, remember, it’s doing absolutely nothing for you. Just for a moment, take your head out of the sand and ask yourself that if you knew with certainty that your next session would start a process that would make you utterly unresponsive to someone you deeply love, would you continue using? Speaking to the people this happens to, they certainly didn’t expect it would happen to them either, and the worst thing isn’t the disease itself but the knowledge that they’ve brought it on themselves. Try to imagine how people who’ve ’hit the button’ feel, for them the brainwashing is ended. They spend the remainder of their lives thinking, “Why did I kid myself for so long that I needed to masturbate to internet porn? If only I had the chance to go back!”
Stop kidding yourself, you have that chance. It’s a chain reaction, if you engage in the next porn session, it’ll lead you to the next one and the next. It’s already happening to you. Easy_Peasy promises no shock treatment so if you’ve already decided that you’re going to stop, the following won’t be shocking for you. If you haven’t, skip the remainder of this chapter and come back to it once you’ve read the rest of the book.
Volumes upon volumes of research have already been written about the damage internet porn causes to our sex lives and mental well-being. The trouble is that until deciding to stop they don’t want to know. Forums and mentor groups are a waste of time because porn puts the blinders on. If inadvertently read, the first thing they do is to open their favorite tube site. Porn users tend to think of the happiness, stress and sex hazards as a hit-and-miss affair, like stepping on a land mine.
Get it into your head, it’s already happening. Every single time you open your porn site you’re triggering dopamine flooding and opioids get to work. The neural water slides are greased and the ride takes you smoothly through the next steps, your brain having already given in to the script. The nervous system is now flooded by dopamine and since it’s the umpteenth time, dopamine receptors close up and the little monster uses this slight dip in pleasure compared to the last time to drive you further over the red line to more shocking porn or behaviour in order to release more dopamine. More novelty, more dopamine and the little monster tells you to keep going. So many pictures and videos in a single session triggers a supernormal stimulus, injecting more chemicals into the brain and driving you to continue.
The entire time your receptors are receiving information to shut down in response to the flooding. Orgasm only increases this effect and leads to withdrawal. You’re in denial since the little monster craves for its fix with no real pain and discomfort. The threat of having erectile dysfunction terrifies many, which is why they block it from their mind and overshadow it with the fear of stopping. It’s not that the fear is greater, but quitting today is immediate. Why look on the negative side? Perhaps it won’t happen, having bound to have quit by then anyway."
Day 5 trod on
You and your girlfriend are sharing a value, and that means a ton in a relationship. Lustful thoughts don't care about values or relationships. It's kind of the core problem with pornography. I've justified pursuing a lustful fantasy by the excuse, "it's my wife/girlfriend, so it's different!" It's never been different. It's just a familiar mask over the same feelings.
Why not practice being vulnerable and true to your higher self with your girlfriend?
Will keep that in mind! I feel it's gonna be much easier with HOCD under control, as that is the only thing that has caused me to relapse. Will be on guard, however.
Day 1 complete yet again. I will beat this
Thank you for this @RiseToGreatness. I definitely pushed it too far at one point. I really do need to be more gentle with myself and slow down. I can feel myself getting out over my skis.
Checking in on day 22!
30 minutes of meditaton
Trigger avoidance plan
Both you @HE^MAN & @Johnthesavage might not need the count, but your counters are constant reminders to the rest of us what we can achieve. Thank you for not using PMO to medicate the pain of rejection, because by resisting and finding another way, you show us that there is another way...
Checking into the dead marshes - Day 83
@RiseToGreatness I fear there is a darkness behind this debate on counters that seeks to undermine and destroy this Fellowship - please do everything you can to find a way to not let this happen....
This challenge gives us a goal to strive towards - 500 days with no PMO. If I get that far, and I intend to, then I will stop counting. I count because that is what this challenge is, to reach 500 days. The count has prevented me from fishing countless times, and any time I have relapsed it was not because the count was large or small or whatever, I relapsed because I had been fishing, and I fished because of a deeper lack in my mind and soul.
The Allen Carr book is very helpful in understanding the tricks the mind plays on us. It is very helpful with making definitive decisions.
But the decision is only the beginning, absolutely essential, but just the beginning. Lust and intimacy disorders are far more widespread in our world and have much deeper psychological causes than cigarettes did when Allen Carr wrote his book (a book that saved my life). We have to admit that PMO addiction is far more addictive, insidious, darker, harmful and seductive than inhaling sticks of carbon monoxide were.
Similar to what @Johnthesavage said above, the vast majority of us still need help after we have made the decision and embarked on our journey to defeat this addiction :
a) we need each other
b) we need goals we can aim for (such as this challenge provides)
c) we probably need some psychological help
d) we definitely need spiritual help (a higher (as opposed to lower) power)
We are human beings, flawed by nature, and we need to accept that we all need help no matter what.
All who are reading this now, you are my friends. Though we have never met you are close to my heart. I am sincerely, eternally grateful for your support and fellowship - without it I would be lost. Especial thank you @RiseToGreatness again and again - please never doubt the great thing you are doing here my friend.
"I do not know what is happening. The reason of my waking mind tells me that great evil has befallen and we stand at the end of days. But my heart says nay; and all my limbs are light, and a hope and joy are come to me that no reason can deny. [...] I do not believe that darkness will endure!"
Thank you @Slider8 for all your support - How are you getting on yourself? How goes the battle?
Can you rank me up to a Hobbit please?
Day 9 Check-in!
Been a doozy these last 2 days but I have been so occupied I have not had time to have urges. In class now (hahaha online classes) but felt compelled to check in. Class time is one of my more vulnerable times. Still working on kindness and compassion as my mindset, but in the flurry of the last 48 hours I have forgotten my intention more than I would have liked to. Bringing it back Brothers and Sisters! Still staying active with running and other workouts.
Thank you again Fellowship!
I'm quite good ,thanks. Feel a bit of cold from subzero and light clothing I used for a walk today, but I like the snow ! For now the battle is mostly the same , with less urges, better night sleep and I keep following my trigger prevention plan...
Typing this right after I relapsed...
I've felt this coming, but I didn't do anything to stop it.
I don't exactly what caused this relapse, but it could be because of multiple things:
- Last week was pretty overwhelming in a positive and motivating way, but it was also very tiring.
- Started getting urges
- Started bringing my phone to my bedroom again --> Started sleeping later.
- I was upset and felt negative about stuff (Had some deep thoughts and questions about myself and my current situation.)
- Started P fishing
Decided to post this right after the relapse, because I wanted to get this off my chest.
This post will also be a good one to look back to whenever I get urges or anything that might make me relapse.
For anyone that's on the edge of relapsing: just don't do it. It's not worth it.
If you're reading this while being sad, angry or whatever and think that PMO is gonna help you, it won't. It will make you feel worse.
I'm not going to give and I'm going to make new plans to avoid another relapse. I know I could've done better the last couple of days.
Stay strong everyone!
Day 15 Check in. I'm now a hobbit @RiseToGreatness. Heading to Bree!
Hey @UpInSmokeTour I really needed to hear your advice. I've also been struggling with urges lately but know you're not alone! It's great that you've identified the potential triggers that led to your relapse and are in the process of developing a plan to prevent future relapse. Stick to that plan and don't ever let your guard down if you feel yourself slipping. We're all behind you man. Brush it off and stay strong brother!