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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by RiseToGreatness, Sep 22, 2019.
Thank you for the kind words, @crazyhorse11 !
Day 14 complete! Two weeks under my belt and only one more day until I become a native of the Shire.
Will someone explain to me what PAWS is?
Living that Orc life; toothpaste out the window
Checking in on Day 66. I'm noticing a new pattern where I'm going to bed earlier and getting more sleep -- I'm not staying up as much so I'm starting to become more focused during the day. Last night was tougher than usual in terms of urges because of having a wet dream the day before, but I realised I could lead myself to self-doubt if I let that get into my head, so I went to sleep.
Also noticed that there is a tendency for urges to be higher once every 30 days, with the odd exception in the mid 20s. I have no idea if this changes or continues for day 90 and beyond, though, so I'll talk about what I find regarding those days when I reach those milestones.
Day 64. Checking in. Today I feel that much of the chaser effect has subsided from my wet dream. This week has been busy at work and I am already looking forward to the weekend. I have been managing the stress of work much better than in the past. Typically my urges would spike when work was crazy. They are still more noticeable during stressful times but not nearly as bad as they used to be.
Day 60 ....about to enter the Kingdom of the Silvan Elves, Lothlórien.
Checking in on day 23.
I've had some trying times this week, mostly because I've been home alone for hours on end. I also watched several episodes of Narcos, which had some scenes that led me to lust after these women. I hate that feeling that bubbles up inside of me when this happens. It's exciting, and I instantly feel the urge to scratch the itch and release even more dopamine into my brain. It's very hard to slam the valve shut at this point, especially if I linger on those thoughts for any amount of time. It led to a few close calls, but I have not turned to P like I usually would.
I did MO while looking at photos of my wife. I guess that technically this could be a reason to reset my counter, but I am not considering that necessary for two reasons: I do not see pictures of my wife as P, and it certainly isn't something that I would be ashamed of other people to know about. Second, one of the main reasons that I'm doing this challenge is so that I will turn my eyes away from other women and towards my wife, who I am blessed to have. In a way, MO to pictures of my wife is a sign that this process is working...in the past, I wouldn't have considered this and would have instead searched the depths of the internet to get my fix. I honestly feel like this is sound logic, but there is a small part that wonders if I'm making excuses. I will strive not to do this again in the future so that I won't enter this gray area, but I don't feel that this has tainted my accomplishments thus far and I will keep moving forward. If you all disagree with me, let me know, as I'd like to be in good standing with this challenge.
Be well, everyone!
Thank you for sharing!
I think it is up to you if you reset your counter. Everybody has different goals that he pursues by doing this challenge. But in my honest opinion I would recommend you not to do it again. As you said, a part of you is wondering if you are making excuses. I think this is not a good sign, it means that a part of you considers this to be a kind of behaviour that you are not fully satisfied with. I experienced similar feelings in past streaks when I did sth. arousing like fishing or looking at a picture for a couple of seconds. I would not consider these things a relapse either, but the occurance of such behavioral patterns is definately a warning. I knew I did something that I wanted to stop doing and it felt like cheating the challenge by doing arousing things that do not equal a relapse and in consequence do not set back the counter.
I'm at 18 days clean. Honestly after reading The Easy_Peasy Method I've never felt more sure of defeating PMO. I have not peeked once in the last 18 days nor have I fantasied about any sexual moments with any women. I have not suffered any chaser effects after making love to my wife. I am more devoted to her and no longer see women for just their bodies. It's been 6 months since I re-joined NoFap and although this is nowhere near the length of my longest streak in the past 6 months (59 days) I feel like it will break all my records.
Today is also 181 days since my last alcoholic beverage. Later this year I'm determined to get this many days from my LAST PMO session.
I have deleted all blockers as I'm no longer using the willpower method.
Day 120 complete. Read something really good about shame today:
"We are accepted in Christ, secure in Christ, and significant in Christ. Shame attacks these truths. Shame is like the grooved part of the highway on the side of the road. When we veer off the road, it lets us know when we are drifting from the truth. When a person feels shame, it can be an indicator that they have a wrong basis for their identity. It may indicate they are trying to achieve or earn their identity. This san opportunity to acknowledge wrong thinking and embrace their identity in Christ by faith. When a person is fearful of being honest about a failure or relapse, that is an indicator they may have slipped back into a pattern of pleasing people. When they recognize they are feeling shame, they should meditate on the truth of who they are in Christ. Instead of shame reinforcing a shame identity, it can be a reminder to renew their minds with God's truth." (The Freedom Fight, Ted Shimer)
Day 10 Check-in!
I find myself closer to experimenting, baby steps I guess
Wish me luck
i feel you bro . trust me, no one is going to break the Fellowship
it´s just me and my frustration (and pressure) from resetting the counter over and over again. in fact, i feel i needed to let go of counting, perhaps it was the next level of my reboot, i don´t know. all i know is once i stopped counting i feel relieved and at peace.
however there´s a huge wave of support to counting and the quest of the ring from most members of the Fellowship. that makes me happy because it means the challenge is working
be at peace bro. I´m still here and i will continue being here , just in a different way. but ei, i register the day of my last pmo session, maybe one day i will do the math, and show a streak again . Who knows?
i can see that happen very clearly bro. It´s called loss of reboot capital. JK Emezi calls reboot capital the degree of mental determination that we have towards the reboot, our level of focus. once we stop engaging in good habits (and consequentely promoting the bad ones), the loss of capital is happening. so, in a downward spiral (which can last days, even weeks), it´s only a matter of time until a major setback happens and we engage in a pmo session.
seek the point where you started losing reboot capital bro. and why. it´s crucial for your personal improvement.
Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome.
well, you put me on a difficult position bro. but i see you acted in innocence so this might work out for you
first, you are making excuses. addicts do that all the time: "but it was just bikini photos", "but it was softcore", "it was just masturbation", and that ultimate excuse is very refined: "but it was my wife"
see, when we objectify someone, we are deprived humanity from that person, it doesn´t matter if it´s a pornstar, a co-worker, your neightbour or your wife. masturbation implies stripping a person from his personal traits and focus on the body, objectify it for your own needs.
if you were so passionate to her, why not make genuine sex? why choose masturbation? you´re still getting your fix bro. what happened was that your addicted mind came up with an extremely refined excuse to masturbate. and of course, this is just the first level...
so, i believe you were caught in a trap, and you really thought that you weren´t sliping. with that in mind, if no one in the Fellowship opposes, i can let you pass
anyway, this is a very sensitive situation and no more similar slips will be allowed.
Stay sharp bro
There is a rough way to find out if it was a way to get your fix...Answer yourself this "Did you/would you tell your wife about it?" and check how the answer makes you feel. Now, as a single person in his 30's, living with his parents, my input might not be the best one to take notice of, yet you are depriving your wife of your thoughts and create a separate reality that she is not aware of, a reality that might not be on par when the real reality sets in. And when some certain expectations (that only you know about) are not met, the feeling of disappointment appears. And as more of these events occur, the relapse is on it's way.
Checking in Fellowship
Lot´s of upgrades among the Companion today. Congratulations!!!
@Silverwolf - Hobbit / Hobbiton (the adventure begins now my brother. Good luck!!! )
@Chakra_Serpent - Buckleberry Ferry / Shire
@princess.01 - Lothlórien / Wilderland
@kingsmokepoof - Gates of Argonath / Anduin River
@crazyhorse11 - Dead Marshes / Emyn Muil
Have a great day my brothers and sisters!!! . Checking out
"We tend to think of porn as a tug-of-war, on one side is fear: “It’s unhealthy, filthy and enslaving.” On the
other side, the positives: “It’s my pleasure, my friend, my crutch.” It never seems to occur to us this side is
also fear; it’s not that we enjoy porn, it’s that we tend to be miserable without it. Heroin addicts deprived of
heroin go through misery, but picture the utter joy when they’re finally allowed to plunge a needle into their
vein and end that terrible craving. Try to imagine how anyone could actually believe they get pleasure from
sticking a hypodermic syringe into a vein. Non-heroin addicts don’t suffer that panic feeling and heroin doesn’t
relieve the feeling, it causes it.
Non-users don’t feel miserable if they aren’t allowed to use porn – it’s only users that suffer that feeling.
Internet porn doesn’t relieve the feeling, it causes it. The fear of the negative consequences doesn’t help users
quit, likening the feeling to walking through a minefield. If you get away with it, fine, but if you were unlucky
you stepped on a mine and faced the consequences. If you knew the risks and were prepared to take them, what
did it have to do with anyone else? Addicts in this state typically develop the following evasive tactics.
“You’ll eventually get old and lose your sexually prowess anyway. . . ”
Of course you do, but sexual prowess isn’t the point – we’re talking slavery here. Even if that’s the case, is that
a logical reason for deliberately cutting yourself short?"
“Quality of life is more important than just living.”
Precisely! Are you suggesting that the quality of life of an addict is greater than someone who isn’t addicted?
Do you really believe the quality of a users life is better than a non-users. A life spent covering their head in
the sand and being miserable doesn’t sound like a pleasant one.
“I’m single and not planning to settle down in the future, so why not?”
Even if that were true, is that a logical reason for playing with neurological impulse control mechanisms? Can
you possibly conceive of anyone being stupid enough to strip naked whenever they’re alone, regardless of how
sure they aren’t expecting anyone? That’s what porn users effectively do!
Progressive gunging-up of our reward circuits with excessive stimulation, and making them incapable of handling
normal stresses of life doesn’t help in enjoying your life with enthusiasm and vigour. Porn and masturbation
has replaced the natural sexual appetite, like a chocolate bar replacing real food. Unsurprisingly, many doctors
and psychologists are now relating various mental health problems to physiological causes. The mainstream
medical community has laboured that porn has never been scientifically proven to be the direct cause of the
issues reported by self-confessing individuals, but admitting one’s sexual inability in public is such a shame
triggering event, why would anyone do this unless they were really concerned – having found the cause and
eliminating it from their own lives?
Easy_Peasy will help you rid yourself of porn and become a happy ex-user. No porn, porn aided masturbation
or unnecessary orgasms. The only aid will be the touch, smell and scent of your partner. Like wholegrain bread
after a well developed appetite, you’ll no longer want the high-fructose corn syrup of internet porn. Evidence
so overwhelming, as to not need proof; when I bang my thumb with a hammer it hurts, it need not be proven.
The stress of internet porn has flow on effects onto other aspects of the users life, predisposing many to turn to
drugs such as cigarettes and alcohol to cope, in some instances even turning the host to consider suicide.
Users also suffer illusions that the ill-effects of porn are overstated. The reverse is the case, there’s no doubt
that internet porn is the major cause of sexual dysfunction and many other problems. How many divorces
have been caused by porn? There are no reliable ways to know, but searches of online communities suggest the
number is growing exponentially.
There’s an episode of Friends where the guys, who were receiving continuous free porn on TV, started to wonder
why the pizza delivery girl didn’t ask to check out their ’big bedroom’. When you’re addicted, you invariably
project porn fantasies on real women. Imagine what careless or even accidental porn exposure on the darker
sides of the internet might do to someone already at a tipping point in their life. Fighting against these porn
induced thoughts will be a major drain on their mental health.
Here’s another thought experiment, let’s say someone comes to you and says they don’t necessarily want an
orgasm but very much want to make love, even penetrative. They want to do it for as long and as far as you
can go without an orgasm – but if it happens then it’s fine. I assure you of a phenomenal new sexual experience
far better than any other, if you even get that offer. Try it.
Effects of the brainwashing make us tend to think like the man who, having fallen off a 100 storey building, is
quoted saying as he whizzes past the fiftieth floor, “So far, so good!” We think that as we’ve gotten away with
it so far, one more porn session won’t make the difference. See it another way, the ’habit’ is a continuous chain
for life with each session creating the need for the next. When you start the habit, you light a fuse. The trouble
is, you don’t know how long the fuse is. Every time you give in to a porn session you’re one step closer to the
bomb exploding. HOW WILL YOU KNOW IF IT’S THE NEXT ONE?
9.1 Sinister Black Shadows
Users find it very difficult to believe that internet porn actually causes those insecure feelings when you’re out
late at night after a contentious day at home or work. Non-users don’t suffer from that feeling, it’s porn that
Another of the great joys of quitting porn is the freedom from the sinister black shadows at the back of our
minds. All users know they’re fools to close their minds from the ill-effects of pornography. For most of our
lives it’s automatic, but the black shadows are always lurking in our subconscious minds, just below the surface.
Several of the marvellous benefits of quitting are conscious, such as the waste of time and the sheer stupidity
of making love to a two-dimensional image.
The last chapters have dealt with the considerable advantages of being a non-user, but in the interests of fairness
it’s necessary to give a balanced account. Therefore, the next page lists the advantages of being a user."