Day 15 complete! I decide to destroy the porn ring! I'm a Hobbit now. I must take the ring to the place where it was made, Mount Doom, so I leave Hobbiton heading for Bree. Thank you for sharing this message; I needed to hear it. Lately I've been slipping a bit in my cold shower habits, telling myself that I'm doing well, I don't need them, and they don't really help anyway. Some of those things may be true, but it's the wrong mentality! I need to continue accumulating reboot capital.
Day 65. I am definitely feeling the urges this morning. I was reading a book which had an erotic scene that came out of no where. I had to stop reading the passage immediately due to it triggering me so strongly. I am feeling a bit of tracer effect from it. I am glad I was able to put the book away rather than reading on and indulging.
I think this is a good point. I'm going to tell her about it, because I know she won't be upset, but I think you're right about it being a slippery slope. So I'm adding it to my personal goal from now on, and if it happens again, I'll have to consider it a relapse.
These are all good points and I appreciate your input. I am going to tell my wife about it to make sure I don't feel ashamed about it. If I do, I'll reset my counter today. If I don't, I'll keep going but will add it to my goals and consider it a relapse if I ever do it again. I feel good about this decision. Thanks for all you do!
Day 121 complete I know for me any edging or MO is considered a relapse. Every one has their own standards though as far as this goes. It is like you said though, just the first level. For me it always started with an "innocent MO" to my wife, and shortly after I was back into porn. Sometimes even the same day. I have to stay FAR from any of that stuff. For me it has to be black and white or I will never stay in recovery. @aeburbt You can do this man! Just be aware of those situations and when you realize it, GET OUT! Shut off the TV and call your accountability right away and tell them what's going on. Vulnerability and openness kill the temptations. Isolation never helps.
Dude I am in the exact same position. Feeling stuck, feeling an impending sense of terror that there is a relapse in my future. I think one of my problems is I haven't had regular check ins with accountability, so I've felt isolated in my recovery which is a huge problem. At the same time I haven't been keeping up with my routines, and I think structure for an addict is very important. Before, in the middle if my addiction, my life felt "unmanageable", as the say in the 12 steps. To battle that, I started putting structured morning and evening routines in my life. I just haven't been keeping up with those things though, and I can tell it's making a difference. I'm glad you posted this man, it is a reminder that this stuff I put in place is non-negotiable. I have to do it and maintain it if I want to stay in recovery.
Day 4 On Sunday I am gonna do it, I am going to try something small and see if I like it (she is ok with it and knows what it is already) No porn issues, I think having someone that confuses my tastes really helps distract me lol
yeah, you´re right. @aeburbt sorry bro, got to put you on orc again. masturbation is not allowed in the challenge. even if it was to your wife, even if it was as innocent as you believe it was, the rules were not followed, truth be told. "The journey will take 485 days (+15) in nofap (no porn, no masturbation), travelling from Hobbiton to Mount Doom. If you succeed you´ll become the Supreme Guardian of Middle Earth. Good luck!!!"
Check in Fellowship. Feeling a bit down today, i unconsciously dwell a bit on sweets yesterday, also had bad sleep and today withdrawal syndrome is hitting me . but lesson reinforced. The following members have upgraded and reach places in Middle Earth. Congratulations!!! @12ove - Uruk-Hai @Gallade_Templar - Hobbit / Hobbiton (your journey has started my brother. Good luck!!! ) @MyGodandMyAll27 - Bree / Eriador Checking out my friends . Have a good day. Here´s some humour to light up the day
I still remember Axe bombing my middle school locker room a few years ago LOL. Never used the spray unless I had to, it was like bad sweat in and of itself.
Checking in. Got ambushed by some unexpected graphic content earlier but immediately shut it down, whereas in the past my addiction would have treated it as an excuse to fish. Happy about that, but weathering the resulting urge-wave now until I can take a few minutes away from work to do my Wim Hoff breathing, which along with cold showers always helps me stabilize after something like this. I'll check back in this evening, determined to report a successful day.
