Day 95! Rumors about a certain ring start to spread throughout the world so much, that they reached even to my deaf ears. But which of them are true? I must go into the world and find out about it. There is little time to rest, I shall start moving into the world tomorrow at first light! Have a great night brothers!
Day 29, Big shout out to @RiseToGreatness. Thank you for your honesty and dedication to this community. I can say for certain that you have helped me reach 29 days, my longest streak to date of voluntary PMO abstinence. Thank you for helping me on this journey. And thank you to the rest of the Fellowship! Please stay safe and warm with this winter front pushing through
Checking in friends No PMO - Day 86 - 4 days to the 90 Reflections - It's all interlinked - starting a diet for Lent (gluttony), ramping up in work (laziness), feeling appropriate beneficial emotions after grabbing attention (vanity), this forum (lust), etc.... this quest cannot be done half heartedly or fragmented, it must be full on and complete Challenge daily your excuses to pmo - "I deserve it" - A perfect example of the upside-down thinking of the addict - total subliminal contradiction - like saying I deserve to cut my own balls off - wow that makes real sense! Exercise - No - have a strained hamstring Cold Shower - No Mindful Breathing - Yes Practise BRACE - Yes and it simply woke me out of day dreaming / sleep walking Procrastination - no Vanity - a bit of attention grabbing but not feeling it, not convinced of the lies my vanity tells me and I mean to continue to break it down until it is destroyed completely Acting the idiot, boasting, blather - Yes, I struggle not being the clown in groups but I am aware of it and its strength isn't there any more - I will stop this Study about the reboot - Freedom Fight Follow a triggers prevention plan - BRACE! Early to bed early to rise, getting off sugar slowly but surely (off sugar completely for Lent), do the tasks I set myself for this weekend please!, do not watch anything with triggers this weekend ( watch a few games instead ) Why am I doing this? - this forum is the fulcrum upon which the end of all my bad habits turn on the way to being finally alive Freedom Fight - Matthew 5:29-30 What value would you put on your life? If someone offered you all the money power and riches in the world, you would not and could not exchange your life for them - so how is PMO worth wasting this precious life for???? A radical approach to ending these life destroyers is needed, just as it says in Matthew 5:29-30 The FASTER scale! Restoration - Forgetting Priorities - Anxiety - Still Seeking Creating Drama Speeding up - Ticked off Exhausted Relapse Commitments for tomorrow - Humility, No PMO, Prepare for Lent, Exercise, Vigilance and Mindful of Thought (Extinguish all lustful fantasy before they are even a flame & any time I see a fault in another think of my own faults (of which I have infinitely more examples)), of Word (No bitching or complaining & Connect to my vulnerability by being reserved and quiet), of Action (Connect to my tasks and stay diligent and true to my commitments), Be very aware of danger everywhere for the next 4 days especially and most importantly do not take my eye off Gollum, not even for one second....
Day 43 I’ve had a difficult few days my brothers, I’m preparing for a life-changing interview in early March and the stress of preparation has been unbearable, to the point where I couldn’t stop myself from fishing for several hours earlier today. I found myself retreating to the ‘comfort’ of old habits and spent a while edging, and experienced the worst urges so far in 43 days, but just before it became too late I did something I’ve not managed before - I stopped. While I’m ashamed about my edging, I’m oddly surprised at how my brain was fighting the temptation to MO. I realised that if I committed to orgasm, it would be a nice feeling for a few fleeting moments before the clarity set in. I would have failed. I would have thrown away 42 days of progress, and this check-in would be much harder to write. I had the choice to relapse and start again at Day 0, or to calm down, dust myself off, and continue the challenge. To put this in the context of LOTR, I would compare this to Boromir’s moment of weakness trying to take the ring, only to release how grave his error was and to go on to defend Merry and Pippin to his dying breath. Today has been a reality check, I finally see PMO for what it truly is - an illusion, and a distraction from what truly matters. I suspect my oncoming weeks will linger with the tracer effect, but I will journey on to Moria.
Was triggered and started fishing. Almost went down a dark road. Took a deep breath and closed out after 5 minutes. Was triggered by something that popped up in my history and started treading water. Going to go grab dinner and take a second to let my brain reset.
I regret to inform everyone, for cautionary reasons, I will be leaving this website but continuing nofap. My mom is very intense with her surveillance and I have no way to stop her from snooping onto any site she manages to fall onto. I wish you all the best, I am signing off. Good luck, everyone. Ave Satana
Day 17 complete! @sandor11 Well man, how do you think it will go? A reboot is only as successful as we make it.
my Fellowship, i relapsed yet again. definitely for me, nofap is not working, maybe i lack motivation for the nofap forum, maybe this challenge doesn´t appeal to me anymore, i don´t know. what i do know is that forcing things will not create results. been there. i need to step back, clear my mind and see what is happening for me. most of all i need to define what path i must take in my current situation. so i will take a break from the challenge and the nofap forum until i get things clear. i need a break brothers. meanwhile, i wish you all a good journey and keep encouraging each other . Keep the Fellowship alive. I will be back.
Thank you brother! My life is changing right in front of my eyes and I will never be the same person I used to be again for my consciousness has expanded and it will not fit in the old constraints anymore !
Sad to hear that. You are a great support for all of us by updating the thread and leading the fellwoship. Nevertheless I understand that you need to take some time to rest. We all will be happy to welcome you in the Fellowship as soon as you come back brother!
