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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by RiseToGreatness, Sep 22, 2019.
Unbelievable @Johnthesavage! Keep up the amazing work!!!
Well....here I am. Starting over at day one. Got too lax in the past week and didn't take this seriously enough. Using this setback to give me a renewed sense of purpose and dedication.
Good afternoon my Fellowship
At the third day here i am.
A much smaller break than i expected, but a needed break.
didn´t relapse more though, these past days i basically reflected upon my strategy, finding holes in it. i revise my triggers prevention plan, which now has become much easier to follow but still being very solid.
i also develop a specific plan to deal with urges, since i had lot´s of strategies but none was implemented by default. this was painful to acknowledge, since i had many long streaks in the past (even a 6 months streak), and never knew exacly what to do in the face of strong temptations. i just assume i knew and was implementing strategies by memory, nothing structured. plus, since i´m married, i relied on sex to calm down the urges, never really working on myself to face strong desires. now that gap has been corrected.
i also resume journaling and i´m doing it daily now
i will make a 90 days hard mode streak. a must needed process to not only recover from the pmo damage and addiction, but also to master myself in a way to overcome sexual attachment, not being hostage to it. this is probably the last degree of freedom that rebooters need to attain, in my opinion.
i received lot´s of support in these last days and i want thank you guys for being so supportive to me. Indeed we are a Fellowship
I hope everybody is going well and strong, and let´s go destroy this Ring. See you tomorrow!
Edged - back to square one. Incredibly disappointed in myself because each time I realise that PMO is not what I truly want, but the stress of my work is grinding me down.
Nevertheless, time to crack on again.
Day 294. Thanks for the kind words @OttarrTheVendelCrow . Glad to be going into lent nearly 300 days free of pm and coming out of lent close to a straight year free. I would've been there already but last year I was feeling dejected, my baptism being postponed from Easter weekend till tbd (it ended up being August), but I let that eat at me and gave up. I realized my mistake and continued to fight. So this year I will be able to focus on other character flaws that need worked on.
Woah, I came very close to just turning away entirely for the next 30 days from NoFap. To essentially give up on it for the next month. I do not know what came over me yesterday. I'm back and intending to be accountable. This journey is tough, but I am in it, even if it takes a lifetime. The plan is to dig deeper and the question that I have been asking myself today is, "what will it take?"
Thank you Fellowship
Use the tips from the beginning of the tread to deal with your work related stress for they are meant to do exactly that - to substitute the unhealthy way of PMO to deal with stress to the' tips' that should become your new healthy habits(a.k.a. 'tips' they are not recommendations but must to do) if you are serious about going the whole distance(especially that part where you become alive and healthier )
It's normal you just needed to get away for a while to think and evaluate. You have done it surprisingly fast !
11 Days. Down with Sauron! Nothing but maggoty bread for three stinking days.
Day 210 + 1
Day 20 complete! With rain and fog I enter the old village of Bree.
The winter weather afflicting the United States has hit my city quite hard. Some of my friends are without power and quite a few of us are without Internet. Classes have been cancelled for several days. There might not be much to do this week except lie around in my room, but I do not intend to allow PMO to get any foothold back in my life.
St. Wenceslaus, pray for us!
730+ days free from P and M kill the boy and let the man be born
Good stuff! Thank you as I've been searching for something like this.
Day 70 no PMO. Another milestone in my journey. Over the last seventy days I have realized that the key to Nofap is to quickly change the channel in your mind when you begin to have sexual urges, thoughts, or fantasies. This is absolutely key. If you dwell on these things, it tricks your body into thinking it is having sex; tripping a switch in your brain to wanting more. If you can push out the thoughts successfully by distracting yourself with something else, you can go on forever. It is important to be diligent about this when times are easy so that when extra stress presents itself you are prepared. I do feel that I have reached a point of maintenance in terms of my behavior. I need to continue to be diligent and keep my mind focused on my goal.
Well, fellowship, I am saddened to write the following:
Yesterday all of the things going on in my life overwhelmed me, and I did not choose to deal with my emotional state in a healthy and productive way. While I know the feelings of stress and anxiety are perfectly normal feelings, the way that I chose to cope with them were not right. I didn't look at porn, I didn't masturbate, but I did end up deliberately seeking out lustful and provocative content that was not appropriate. I know in those moments that my heart was in the wrong place, and so I've considered it a full relapse. My standards are set, and I will not compromise on them.
Therefore I return to Orc, and begin my journey again. Wish me luck fellows, this time the ring must be destroyed.
I will go with you to the end, to the very fires of Mordor.
Checking in on Day 72.
Day 16 Check-in as a Hobbit!!
Let´s continue this journey!!
Day 25. being better everyday