The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 175. I am more than my body. I am more than my mind. I am more than my urges.

 

Day 28. God give me the strenght to be better everyday

 

I see it as a plan or collection of plans to lead you past patterns of behavior you want to avoid... boundaries, coping strategies, habits, routines, etc...
Your life is a car in drive; it's going forward with time. You need boundaries to keep you from rolling over the steep hills, coping strategies to get back up the hill if you start rolling down it, routines to keep your mind on the road ahead, habits to keep your car in tune. There is more information on the specifics of these in this forum and other resources.

Checking in today - I am a Hobbit by now!

 

Day 2 team. Thanks for all being here

 

I'll do a Thursday check in

I took a hiatus to figure some things out. I'd been really struggling, it felt like walking on slick ice, continually falling. I'd struggle to get back up, only to fall flat on my face again.

I let myself go a couple times last week, with my last PMO session taking place last Friday. I am still coming out of a brain fog. I'd been afraid that maybe the porn-addict life really is the best, and now I'm convinced that it isn't. Using again wasn't fulfilling and I felt like shit afterwards. Brain fog, soreness and lethargy, social awkwardness, they all came back. It's no way to live, and that is the bottom line.

I have nothing to show for myself in the past two or three weeks. That really hurts, especially when I look back on my life from about April of '17 to March of '19, when I was mostly porn-free. I was so productive, so confident, so at peace compared to where I am now! I want to get back to that and surpass it.

There's more to achieving that than quitting porn, but there's no way to do it without quitting porn. I have, at various points in my life, tried to convince myself that PMO was no worse than an occasional drink or video game session. Maybe a waste of time, but basically harmless. That isn't true. You can't be a casual porn user any more than you can be a casual heroin user. Porn is my heroin. It's time to stop. I don't care how bad it hurts or how long it takes.

I refuse to die a porn addict.

 

Day 2 starts today..

 

Day 297.

 

And not a day later!

 

Amazing!

 

I see that you have risen heights that one can only achieve by great discipline!

 

Thank you, and congratulations to your huge streak!

 

Day 101!
It's amazing how much I still procrastinate lately. The only way for me to do something productive is to wake up at 5. Good night.

 

Day 4,

Keeping strong. Was given the day to focus on studies which was nice. Physical labor wears one down over time. Giving my brain a workout today instead (still might try to sneak something in tonight). We will see. Hopefully will have time to get an afternoon run in since mornings are super cold (I have run in below freezing temps but if I am being honest, it is just silly). Trying to be more reasonable.

Tally ho Fellowship!

 

Yes, they are real books. Funny and distracting when you are attending to the call of nature If you don't want to bring your phone but still need a distraction, these are funny books.

 

Day 23 complete! This matches my best streak ever, so I look forward to setting a new record tomorrow.

Today I had some mild urges while I was hunched over a book studying, but I was able to use some of that honest self-talk which was mentioned above. It clicked for me that it would be more painful to give in and fap than to fight the urges, even though my body wanted to tell me the exact opposite.