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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by RiseToGreatness, Sep 22, 2019.
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266 days the stairs of Cirith Ungol
341 days no PMO, semen retention
Checking in on day 14
Yesterday was tough and I feel low energy today. I walked a very thin line during class yesterday and kept it SFW. I did fish but no PMO. Fairly disappointed but happy that I did not delve into something. Going to walk it back and continue to do my best.
Thank you for the support Fellowship
Well, I am back on the wagon with one day again. It is better than zero, and I am optimistic.
Yesterday, I posted that I had relapsed, with no explanation of how or why. I was too discouraged to post more at the time. The reason, put simply, seemed to be that I was not following my plan. I have what my counselor and I call an Action Plan which I am trying to get into the habit of looking at every day. I am supposed to go over it and add to it, planning the day and reminding myself how to stay PM-free another day. This has always worked when I did it; I just need to stick with it, I think. The best I have done so far was when I kept doing the Action Plan.
Well, yesterday and today I did the Action Plan, so I am glad to be back on track. I plan to stick with it this time.
I have failed today. I collapsed this afternoon. I let inaction become anxiety and boredom. I started fishing. Then it was over.
I'm sort of frustrated with myself. Frustrated because I know I can do this, but I keep not doing it.
Similar to DudeAlex's post above, I have a plan for daily life and activity that I know works, but today I let it slip. I've sort of been out of my routine lately, in large part because of the holiday. It just annoys me to no end that this weekend I'm going to go out with less confidence and self-respect than I would have if I'd stayed the course today.
My brain hurts now. My energy is low. If you're thinking about relapsing today, friends, please don't. Please give it at least one more day.
Time to get back at it!
Couldn't have said it better myself @Gallade_Templar !! So true!
Day 120 no PMO. I never thought that this was possible. Prior to this reset and joining the NoFap forum I was someone who relapsed week to week. The most I had ever made it was 40 days and even then I was edging and fishing during that reset. Three years of attempts lead up to this reset. I can't really put my finger on what exactly has changed for me and why I have been able to make it so far this time around. I believe that it has a lot to do with the topics that I touched on in my 90-day post.
In addition to that, I had become completely fed up. My last relationship, like all of my previous relationships, had been negatively impacted by my PMO habits. When my last relationship ended I needed to change. I felt like my future depended on it. Having someone whom I loved deeply and not being able to foster a healthy sex life with them because of PMO really spurred my desire to change to prevent this from happening in the future.
The support from all of you has really inspired me to keep going. THANK YOU ALL! I am looking forward to continuing this journey with you. We are in this together guys! Let's destroy this ring, once and for all!
You are an inspiration! Keep it up!
Day 4. Since phone is a gate to this dark void that is PMO, I was searching a way to keep me away form it, and i found the option to make the image all gray. This monochromatic option is somewhat hidden, but is very useful, and is helping me a lot to be away from the phone (it really makes a huge difference).
Day 10 check-in (Attempt 4) - Uruk-Hai
Day 7. Uruk - Hai. Still a slave of porn evil but I'm starting to build strength so I can break free from the hold it has on me.
It's my day off work and then after today I work 6 days before my next day off. At work we get 1 day off during the week and every other weekend off. So I need to make the most of today and be productive.
Day 2 complete!
Good run this morning. Need to get my sleep schedule under control. I've been hitting only 5 hours a night most of this week; I would like 7, but life is busy! Oh well.
@OttarrTheVendelCrow Way to go, man! Sharing the joy of others can be a powerful motivator for ourselves too.
Day one of the new age.
The white tree is blossoming again and there is hope in the world again… well not really but stuff is still better than yesterday.
Yesterday I’ve notice how out of control I am so I went into shock mode. I’ve turned my phone into black and white only, started listening to “your brain on porn” again. Spend 20 minutes writing in my journal about my life and NoFap, and stop any fishing in the instant I’ve notice it.
And so far it’s working. I’ve gotten into a small fight with my SO and the moment she left for work I’ve felt the urges kick in really badly and I just set there and tried to be aware of it. then I’ve gotten up and left the house – GREAT SUCCESS!
So here are my top reasons to quit porn:
1) It leaves me with no time or energy, at all. After porn I just feel numb and week, and all I can do is just watch more porn. no friends, no hobbies and sometimes not even food. just porn and sleep.
2) It makes me stupid. I can actually feel it fogging up my brain, even days later I feel myself having trouble staying focused even on stuff like watching a long movie or playing games, not no mention studying and working.
3) I hate myself because of it, simple as that. For years I’ve thought that one of the highest virtues was self-control. Being able so sacrifice pleasure in the present for an even greater pleasure in the future. And porn is the exact opposite from that. For years this conflict got me into a really bad depression (until I’ve learned that self compassion is also an amazing virtue). But I still want to be the person 10 year old me (or 15… or 20… or 25…) would be proud of. Feeling like a week person over this is always pushing me down a self destructive rode that just keep on hurting me and the people I love.
@Onan the Barbarian
I’m so sorry about your slipup you guys.
If you don’t mind, I would love to here about your action plans. I know I need one but nothing I think about feel like something that could really help.
Congrats, great change!
St. Teresa of Avila, pray for us!
I will say that your decision to quit porn is fantastic and the fact you're pulling this off at 18 is impressive. I only started my streak when I was 19. I can say for sure that no-PMO is all about patience and doing something every day so that it becomes natural to not think about PMO or at least be able to deal with urges. Three months at bare minimum would be best (though this depends on how long you've been addicted to porn so this varies) for preventing PE. Focus the energy you get into training as you are now and learn to concentrate on things rather than procrastinate, that's a valuable skill that most people never learn, you'll be way better than most people in that regard.
You sound like you've got a good head on your shoulders so keep that mind of yours sharp. Search up Ali Abdaal; he's got a bunch of revision techniques that'll help (I presume you've heard of Spaced Repetition, Retrospective Studying and Active Recall) which was a life-saver when I was in high school. If that's any use, that'd be great. Either way, keep going as you are and be careful not to fall into the trap where you've reached a milestone and get cocky. Keep alert on when you're procrastinating or not doing things or fishing and you'll be able to stop relapses, but don't pressure yourself into the whole 'counting days' habit some people can have. It's all about balance.
I'm sure you can reach Day 90 and beyond -- just take it piece by piece. Good luck!
Crazy how it's already been four months -- weren't you on Day 100 a few days ago? I'm joking; keep going, you're doing well.