The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by RiseToGreatness, Sep 22, 2019.

Should the Thread Title be extended?

Poll closed Jun 21, 2020.
  1. No, leave like that: "The Lord of the Rings Challenge"

    18 vote(s)
    54.5%
  2. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Fellowship of Nofap"

    15 vote(s)
    45.5%
  3. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: Rising Fellowship of Eärendil"

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  4. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Journey to Mount Doom"

    5 vote(s)
    15.2%
  5. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Quest of the Ring-bearer"

    6 vote(s)
    18.2%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. eagle rising

    eagle rising Fapstronaut

    Day 237.

    To me, a separation between stress, anxiety, etc., and PMOing needs to be achieved. A stressful event need not imply a relapse, it implies that you need to change your situations or change how you think about said situation. This connection seems to be a source of many a relapse. If you feel like relapsing don't do it because of life situations. If you feel the urge is too much just M, but do it because you like the dopamine hits not because of life situations. This will eventually help with coping with life overall.
     
  2. jaberwaki

    jaberwaki Fapstronaut

    Checking in. Looking forward to crossing into triple digits in a few days. Loving the warm spring weather here and excited for the day!
     
  3. RiseToGreatness

    RiseToGreatness Fapstronaut

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    well, i don´t know bro, honestly. it was by innocence, it was probably autopilot, but the truth is you certantly had some degree of masturbation which lead to an ejaculation.

    the problem is what´s gonna happen next. the addicted mind will take hold of that and start chanting that in those situations, with a certain degree of autopilot, and no images involved, then it´s ok, you can do it again. see where this is going?

    don´t make concessions on what is masturbation or not, making concessions is the addiction playground. put it in practical terms, if you feel is fair to reset the counter, then reset. if you feel is fair to continue the counter, then continue. it´s up to you :)
     
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2021
  4. RiseToGreatness

    RiseToGreatness Fapstronaut

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    long time no see bro :). Good that you´re on the right path :)
     
  5. RiseToGreatness

    RiseToGreatness Fapstronaut

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    Very good bro. Keep it up :)
     
  6. RiseToGreatness

    RiseToGreatness Fapstronaut

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    Checking in Fellowship!! :)

    Proudly among the Hall of Fame now, i´m a Hobbit!!! :) and what a hobbit! no porn, no masturbation, no sex, no orgasm, no peeking, nothing!! 5/5 ;). I´m steady on my path and continuing that way :)
    bilbo 3.gif


    Let´s welcome our new member:

    @bsdk_chutiya_ho_kya

    Nothing more to report among the Companion today. Here is a powerful post from JK Emezi, this may be a bit shocking but, once again, the point is to open the mind.

    Have a great day my brothers and sisters, love you all!!! :)


    "At least i didn´t cheat on my wife"


    Hey brother,


    Today, while responding to some emails from married men who struggled with quitting porn, I discovered a common theme.


    If you are a married man who is unable to control his behavior with porn and masturbation, you likely feel that you have some "virtue" or redeeming quality which justifies your behavior.


    Personally, in my porn addict days, my go-to was "At least I'm not doing drugs"


    For you it might be some variation of:

    " At least I still provide for my family"

    "I'm always there for the kids"

    "What she doesn't know won't hurt her.."

    But the one justification I’d like to write about today is a particularly dangerous one.

    " At least I don't cheat on my wife/girlfriend"

    Don't get me wrong- lots of porn addicts have sex with women outside the confines of their marriage.

    In fact, many men who were stepping out on their partners now find it especially challenging due to the restrictions imposed by the pandemic.

    But men in a committed relationship who watch porn and never actually have sex with other women, in my professional experience, end up experiencing more pain as their behavior progresses.

    The emails, messages and coaching calls with men in this category have a predictable plot. Unfortunately, men in this category absolutely refuse to accept the possibility of the consequences I will describe in this email until its too late.

    Allow me to breakdown why "I don't cheat on my wife/partner" excuse is the most dangerous of all.

    Firstly, it shows that you place your sexual commitment to your wife or partner above all other commitments.

    You elevate its importance to such a high level that lying, spending time with porn instead of her, wasting money via under performing at your career, and loss of attraction to her due to your conditioning to porn are justified as "lesser evils".

    The interesting thing is that it isn't your love, partnership, caring or interest in your partner that is held as a strong virtue.

    It's your sexual commitment to her.

    This raises the question:

    Why is sexual commitment to your partner more important than everything else?

    Perhaps it societal and religious conditioning.

    Maybe it’s the fear of thinking that she’ll leave you if she finds out you’ve been having sex with other women.

    Or you can’t bear the thought of hurting her…

    Whatever the reason might be- one thing is certain: Married or attached men who carry this belief suffer more than other men for a few reasons I have observed.

    1)In many cases, your wife or girlfriend will end the relationships. Over 80% of divorces are initiated by the female spouse. Fact: In nature, it is the female in a species who determines how long a relationship (pair bonding) lasts. Not the man.

    2)There is a high chance that when your wife or girlfriend finds out, she will treat your behavior with porn as infidelity anyway. Even if she was previously "cool" with you watching porn, as it becomes apparent that you have a problem, you'll be treated as if you were having sex with multiple women. This is simply her way of emotionally processing your"problem". Since she doesn't understand you "just can't stop", she'll come to the conclusion that you obviously crave sex with other women.
    3) During those years of using the “I didn’t cheat on you” excuse, you built up a serious collection of deal breaking relationship traits. Lying, shame, anger, secrecy in parts of your life which did not require secrecy, manipulation and gas lighting (that’s where you manipulate your partner into thinking she’s “overreacting” or crazy).

    If or when your relationship ends, all that’s left is you and these traits which you never prioritized.

    4) In modern society- particularly in Western countries, many women will not simply leave a relationship until they find another secure one. This means that she will stay married or “with” you but separated until she finds someone else to be with. In blunt terms- she’ll start having sex with someone else while you are both still in a relationship.

    Think this can't/won’t happen to you?
    Visit our free Facebook group. There are dozens of painful stories( and solutions) from men whose wives and partners ended up having affairs shortly after they found out about their husbands porn addiction.

    Sometimes it’s a woman's way of coping with the pain and “getting even” .

    “I’ll make you feel how I feel”.

    Unfortunately, in most cases it works a little too well.

    For the man who held “ At least I never cheated on her” as a virtue, the pain of her actions is absolutely devastating.

    All those years of patting yourself on the back, telling yourself you weren’t hurting her…

    You think about all the “opportunities” you had to cheat but “chose” to watch porn and masturbate instead because you were a “good husband/boyfriend”…

    …it was all for nothing.


    She fucked someone else. Your porn warped mind can’t help but replay a hundred different ways it must have happened.

    It breaks your heart to think that YOUR wife. YOUR woman is having sex with someone else.

    But it doesn’t end there.

    She’s a woman.

    She’s got 99 problems, but finding a willing dick isn’t one of them.

    In your case, however, Mr “At least I didn’t cheat on my wife”… you may find that it isn’t quite the case.

    Not only have you been out of the dating game for a while, but you’re also a porn addict.A porn addict who just torpedoed his relationship and found out that his partner is having sex with other men because as far as she’s concerned, you’re done.

    You’re struggling with PIED.

    You’ve lost your confidence because you no longer have the support of a relationship.

    You’ve spent years in isolation and fantasy. You only non-work related interaction with women is ogling at them in public or masturbating with them on chat sites.

    You have no idea how to deal with the pain…so you dive deeper into your addiction.

    I'll stop here because this is painful for me to write.

    There are men out there going through this right now.

    If you are one of those men, I want you to know that regardless of how your relationship turns out, one thing is certain: You must end your compulsive behavior with porn and masturbation to experience true happiness and contentment in your relationship.

    Losing a relationship to porn hurts.

    Having a partner have sex with another man is frustratingly painful.

    But you will move on from it.

    You will heal.

    And you will be happy again.

    Just remember that whatever we perceive to be our strongest virtue does not excuse our selfish behavior.

    Your brother in this struggle,

    J.K Emezi
     
  7. Thomas3

    Thomas3 Fapstronaut

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  8. modern milarepa

    modern milarepa Fapstronaut

    355 days no PMO, semen retention
    Ten days left for the year baby
     
  9. Cartographer

    Cartographer Fapstronaut

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    Day 1,

    Coming out of the slump a bit. Still foggy, but coming out of it.

    Thank you for the support Fellowship!
     
    Silverwolf, ksie, LuckyMan and 11 others like this.
  10. Julito

    Julito Fapstronaut

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    Hello brothers! It's been a long time. I just recieved a mesage by @Ciceron asking how I am so I thought I would post here to let you all know.
    First of all, I'd like to apologize for not having said goodbye before leaving. I'm sorry. And I also want to explain why I stopped posting on this thread. At that time I felt like having to be accountable stressed me out more than it helped and I needed a break.
    I've been doing fine on my own. I'm not free yet but I've made progress. I won't go back to posting regularly but I'll surely let you know if I hit a significant milestone.
    Thank you brothers for helping each other during hard times. You're the best!
     
  11. 12ove

    12ove Fapstronaut

    1,885
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    Day 13 trod on
     
  12. 276 days,
    Yesterday i did some erotic chat with a friend(she started)..no nudes were shared but later i realised it is no good.
    No such talks from now on.
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2021
  13. Baby Yoda

    Baby Yoda Fapstronaut

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    Day 24
    My day today wasn't too bad but I do need to watch my screen time and amount I listen to music especially loudly. I find that when I spend a lot of time in high sensory activities it takes a lot of energy from me and can lead me down the dark path.

    Also @Johnthesavage
    I also am trying to learn Spanish. I am still in school and am deciding to minor in it however I haven't taken a class in a while. I have been listening to a podcast called coffee break Spanish and am still on season one. The hosts do a great job with pronunciations and helping you understand everything as well as making it fun. I think anyone would really enjoy it so definitely check it out.
     
  14. bsdk_chutiya_ho_kya

    bsdk_chutiya_ho_kya Fapstronaut

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    One more day of Victory. NoFap Day 6.
    I am Uruk - Hai Now.:)
    If I can, You can also.:emoji_v:
    Keep NoFap comrades.
     
  15. Rubzi

    Rubzi Fapstronaut

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    Day 24 check-in (Attempt 4) - The village of Bree
     
  16. Shadowfacts

    Shadowfacts Fapstronaut

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    Hey everyone.
    This seems like a great challenge.
    I'm in.

    Day 1
     
  17. Relapse. Day 0.

    I had a rough time of it tonight. Porn itself has never been much of an issue for me. Even before NoFap I could go weeks at a time without using that. The masturbation still happened on a nearly daily basis, though. Tonight it was all three, full PMO. I accidentally stumbled across some content which was especially triggering to me, and I couldn't let it go. The strangest thing, though, is that my strongest emotion afterward was a need to apologize. I feel like I let all of you guys down even more than I let myself down. I'm sorry. Please forgive me.

    Stress and loneliness have been creeping more and more into my life recently as a result of my impending college graduation. I have some big tests to take, and then I'll be moving away from all the friends I've made over the past four years. PMO is the opposite of a solution to whatever other problems I may be dealing with.
     
  18. rotten_tomato

    rotten_tomato Fapstronaut

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    Day 3
    I've been here like almost 4 years but the best personal record was 30+ days. That day I realised that I am overly addicted. Thank you for the support :)

    Thank you my friend :) It's important to remember that mistakes are bad if you are not learning something from them.
     
  19. GN-z11

    GN-z11 Fapstronaut

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    Day 4, libido continues to be strangely low overall with only a couple of minor/moderate urges here and there. I suppose I can't complain, but I still need to work on fantasizing less.
     

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