The Lord of the Rings Challenge

I agree with much of your sentiment here. I reached over two years in my first go of sobriety, which is 730+ days (I didn't keep count). This was without NoFap. This was me and wife going through hell together trying to figure out why I was such a selfish a**hole who didn't give a shit about anything other than my addictions.

Did that long bout of sobriety change me? No, fundamentally, it did not change me at all. I relapsed once I heard from a psychologist that pornography is okay. That was all it took. I didn't watch P for over two years and I was still the P.O.S. underneath. [Note: I am not condemning anyone whatsoever, this is just a reflection of my view of myself.] I just did what my wife wanted me to do. I just did it to stop the pain, I didn't change who I was.

Fast forward to this day, my motivation is not just not watching P, it is transforming who I am internally, which is the main point in this little discussion. I am doing this to become the best me I can. I am not doing this for anyone else. I am not doing it for God. I am not doing it for abused pornography stars. None of that.

When I become the best I can be then there is no need to do anything for anyone else, it will just be my nature, it will be intrinsic to who I am. It will be a part of my very breath to do what needs to be done in such a way that doesn't harm others, in such a way that I don't use others for little doses of pleasures. When I can see life beyond my actions and little bouts of pleasures, my very actions will be healing for that is the intrinsic nature of life as consciousness.

 

Day 261, checking in.

 

I understand what you mean. It isn't necessarily the number of days reached that changes anything, but it's the amount of time that has passed. I can say, for example, many of the milestones here are impressive because of how much time and effort it takes to not fail. It's why the ranks mean a lot.

I can say that reaching 150 days is for example, impressive, but it's nothing compared to 500. You need to change enough that it's noticeable in the sense of confidence, journaling, perhaps meditation along with being more aware of habits but it's incomplete. 150 days is not enough. It's long enough for change to take place, but not enough where you can necessarily have all the pieces of the puzzle put in place.

It isn't possible to reach 500 days without understanding the reason and striving forward to make a solution work -- I agree with you wholeheartedly on that. You could probably get past a few of the early milestones, but as time goes on, a strong reason is needed to keep on track. It also depends on if you're only doing no-PMO or if you're doing no-PMO/meditation/journaling/research/training, so forth. There's a difference between someone who's only doing the former and another person who's done the latter, even if they're on the same number of days.

I'm sure this will take a while to understand entirely. As of now, while I'm not as much of a beginner I was prior to reaching some milestones, I admit I'm not close to being at the level of understanding and knowledge I want to be in regards to this.

 

Day 23.God Bless you all brothers and sisters

 

Checking in. Steady as she goes

 

day 3

 

You have done well brother ! Really inspiring! I know that in order to do that you had to have many things right in your life. Can you tell us what changes took place in you whilst going through and what have you used the huge amount of time and energy saved for? Did you achieve some of your goals before starting your streak?

 

This day is easy and hard for me. I meditated, walked 6k , sat in front of the screen for 5-7 hours. I felt pain, discomfort and depression for the most of the day because I sworn to God to do fasting without food and water for 42 hours and right now I've done 27 h 18 minutes and for the most of the day I was thinking of quitting ...but I'm still going and I telling you this not to brag but to save myself from breaking my oath. Only 14.5 hours left !

 

Nicely articulated @ListenPaul. I thought I was bullet proof at 150 days but this pride & vanity was all the while subtly stoking the embers of my dying urges, and before I knew it I was back where I started. Moral of the story, I have got to prioritise working on my pride, and becoming humble, to get beyond the next level of lust. Thanks for the post!

 

Hi @Slider8, sorry if I am missing something, but I'm curious as to why you are going off water? Is that not dangerous when fasting from food? When the body starts breaking down the body fats for energy, how are the toxins, which are a bi-product of this process, flushed out?

 

Checking in Friends -
No P Day 178
No M Day 7
No O Day 7

• I am committing to checking in here daily, come hell or high water

Tick

• I commit to increase my Freedom Fight sessions to twice a week

Did this yesterday

• I commit to stay off devices after work and turn to books, boardgames (just bought a solo boardgame for this purpose), exercise, visiting people, etc... instead - summer is coming so I intend to embrace it (the only exceptions to this are if I am watching a sports match, which will be about once a fortnight, checking in here, buying something necessary, or doing Freedom Fight)

Watched a match but spent most the day organising books & tidying up, long long overdue.

• I am renewing my commitment to stop fishing and bounce my thoughts words eyes and actions any time they bring me close to triggers

Am refreshing my decision to end lust and any remnants of narcissism, vanity or arrogance that I harbour in the corners of my mind

• I commit and have decided to finish forever with narcissistic pride, which is the mother of lust. This will include being accountable for when I am - mindless - unkind - foolish - boasting - stealing the limelight - vain - arrogant - hypocritical - delinquent - impatient - capricious - habitual etc...

Today I have been mostly mindful, sincere, reserved, kept normal, saw my faults, accepted my limits, endured a difficult meeting with a parent who is bi-polar (it breaks my heart but I cannot connect), stayed patient and aware of the whims of my ego, prayed to Our Lord for help against falling again

• I commit to looking after myself and dominating procrastination, and being held accountable for this here too

Today I dug out Getting Things Done by David Allen and started sorting all of the stuff I have

Thanks for reading this and helping me stay accountable

Cold Shower - Yes
Exercise - Yes
Reflections - Yes
Procrastination - No
Vanity - No ( I am ashamed to say I caught myself admiring myself today, realised what I was doing and stopped)
Excuses - There were some beautiful women hosting a men's football highlights show, so I turned it off
Mindful Breathing - Yes
Sleep Pattern - Going to be a bit later than I hoped tonight but I will be back on track for work on Monday morning
Mindful Eating - Yes
Personal values - I want to be a good man, like Sam, that is the goal. I read today that Goodness IS, whereas Badness is just corrupt Goodness. So Badness needs Goodness like a parasite needs it's host. Therefore Goodness came first. So we were first Good and that state of being exists inside us still today. It is that Goodness that I would connect with, but rather that corrupt it, I would set it free.

Hi @RiseToGreatness , hope you are well? Would it be possible to upgrade me to Uruk-Hai?

 

300 days check in.

 

Day 15 checking in!
Guess I'm one of those peculiar shire creatures now.

 

Congrats !

 

Day 16

Really busy, just checking in to say "hi, I'm still here."

Hi, I'm still here.

 

Whew. I've been away from NoFap for a couple weeks, and it really shows in my progress. Day 2 complete on my current streak. As usual, still an orc.

 

Next time you feel that your will disappeared for a time try this breathing technique for 5-10 minutes to bring it back.Hope this will help you to get through difficult time and satisfy' the will to disappear'

 

Thanks for sharing your exercise system brother ! Do you do any warm ups before you start your exercises or just jump straight in?

 

Well brother i decided to go off water in order to accelerate the process of putting my body in the survival mode.Well, you tell me what is not dangerous out of our activities. I think that even while sleeping in the bed you can break your neck and arms and even strangle yourself...so where is safety? And as for the fat I don't have that much only about 17% and I guess you have just to endure to live through some harder times.
Anyway from theory to practice-I have done 36.5 by now and actually feel better then yesterday. Only 5.5 are left to go!