The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 28! Some strong urges lurk as I am I'm still in the process of reprioritizing or adding habits to my daily routine.
There is still work to be done until I can move back on my own as the rules for renting a place, are different here, but I am willing to learn them.
Anyway, I can say that my energy has been Quite awesome during the trip, as I got to meet a lot of interesting people and noticed how good it felt to live with myself and my mind, now that PMO-ing was so rare in the last 10 months and did not occupy so much of my time.

 

Day 5
Wins so far:
-Woke up immediately when alarm sounded.
-Said some prayers on way to work
-Skipped breakfast
-Actively trying to be less vain. Trying not to focus on others opinions of me which leads to insurmountable anxiety.

 

day 58

 

Checking in Friends
No P Day 180
No M Day 9
No O Day 9

• I commit to stay off devices after work and turn to books, boardgames (just bought a solo boardgame for this purpose), exercise, visiting people, etc... instead - summer is coming so I intend to embrace it (the only exceptions to this are if I am watching a sports match, which will be about once a fortnight, checking in here, buying something necessary, or doing Freedom Fight)

Played an Ian Livingstone Fighting Fantasy book instead of plugging in, and it was way better

• I am renewing my commitment to stop fishing and bounce my thoughts words eyes and actions any time they bring me close to triggers

Bounced eyes again on the road today - this is both building a new habit and destroying an old one

• I commit and have decided to finish forever with narcissistic pride, which is the mother of lust. This will include being accountable for when I am - mindless - unkind - foolish - boasting - stealing the limelight - vain - arrogant - hypocritical - delinquent - impatient - capricious - habitual etc...

Today I was aware, not unkind, not foolish, not boasting, not showing off, not vain, not arrogant, not hypocritical, patient enough, did my duty, dominated my urges ( although as this is a low dopamine week (2) that is normal ), and gave thanks and praise to the Almighty for all He has given me

• I commit to looking after myself and dominating procrastination, and being held accountable for this here too

Today was a good work day, have a revised system in place and for now sticking to it

Cold Shower - Yes

Exercise - a few dynamic stretches but nothing more. As this is week 2 my energy levels have tanked, this is good however cos it means less urges for now

Reflections - Yes

Procrastination - No

Vanity - No

Excuses - Feeling as if I am sacrificing something - this is the upside down mind of the addict - I am not sacrificing, I am gaining. Giving into urges is losing and slavery, resisting urges and breathing frehs air is winning and freedom

Mindful Breathing - Yes

Sleep Pattern - Back on track - early swim tomorrow

Mindful Eating - Yes - my stomach is in shit, so had it checked out today, hopefully it is nothing serious

Personal values - I am a child of God and I want to be deserving of all the gifts he has given me - my health, my job, my family, this fellowship, and on and on

Peace & Love to you all Fellowship, hope you enjoy this podcast!!!

https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/podcast-708-overcoming-the-comfort-crisis/

 

Another day and a good run in the morning, meditation , some cycling and some writing. Feel good and full of hope for the better!

 

Yup, just like with porn, you need to replace the bad habit with a good one that has the lowest barrier of entry for success. In this case, it's about finding what you can drink/eat that hits a similar mark. When I quit drinking alcohol I replaced it with kombucha--a cold, bubbly drink with a bit of a bite, just like beer. More sour than bitter, but it still hits the same general vibe that beer used to. Others drink soda water with bitters. That way, you still can socialize, still have a cold drink in your hand. It takes a little forethought, but I honestly don't miss beer and don't feel I'm 'missing out'. Don't replace beer with soda, though, as that's just trading problems and you already stated sugar is an issue. As far as sugar, time to experiment with other snack foods. It may take a while but something will hit the spot for you that's not going to be as sugary and cause crashes, and once you find it, stock up! Slowly develop that habit that when a craving for beer hits, you reach for your alternative drink. When a craving for sweets hit, you reach for alternative food (fruit is a good option, or trade the sugar craving for salt and get some goldfish!). Having a good substitute is always better than trying to use willpower to avoid. You got this!

 

Day 39 trod on

 

302 days

 

Checking in on Day 163.

 

Day 17!

The urges are growing and growing, and it's getting hard to control myself. I'm sure that I wouldn't be able to keep the counting if I didn't have that much study demand. But still I feel so happy and delightful that I'm studying (yeah, I really like it) that I don't count this as stress. I'm planning to restart my meditation rotine, since I feel my focusing hability downing through the day.

Gonna be back in some days! My next goal is to complete the 21 days!

"Deeds will not be less valiant because they are unpraised"

See you soon, brothers! Don't give up

 

Day 1 complete. Today was a hard climb, and a streak of one day is no great achievement for me, but I feel a sense of accomplishment that hasn't been there in a while. I leaned heavily on prayer and exercise and it got me through the day, one moment at a time. I'm doing all right.

Guardian angels, pray for us!

 

Had a rough night of urges but ive gotten through them. Today marks another milestone!

Day 50 check-in (Attempt 4) - The Dwarven realm of Moria.

Stay strong brothers

 

Day 21 of No PMO. #Ifeelgreat

 

Day Zero,

Yesterday I’ve relapsed.

I’ve tried to do mindful breathing exercises a couple of time throughout the day, but at some point, I was in the bathroom (my week spot) with my phone and I’ve looked into a sex stories site that I’ve been following for more the a year, just wandering if the new chapter is out… and it was.

So, I’ve told myself I would just read it. Because I feel like I really care about the story (huge self-lie). And of course, I’ve gotten aroused and even played with myself and edged. But I’ve stopped and got out hoping that “it doesn’t count” for some reason.

After that it was all downhill. I was so angry and disgusted by myself, tying to understand how to write in this form and how to tell my girlfriend that I’ve failed again when I was so close. I thought about just lying and pretending that it didn’t happened. And maybe I would even do it, but a couple of hours later I’ve found myself starting to “deep fish” (I don’t know how to describe the action of opening porn with no hard on, without even feeling horny, just wanting to look at naked woman). And then I’ve felt like I’m lost and went again to the bathroom to PMO, and then again and again and again in a day long binge.

I’ve made it 11 days, my third best streak. Not worthy yet to be called a hobbit, but I would still be proud of this attempt. Today I woken up just feeling empty and afraid. I just know that the next two days would be hell.

 

Love this challenge....I would be so happy to be a part of this journey with you guys..I am on 4th day currently

 

Day 92

 

Relapsed again. Like I said, life has been very stressful for me lately, so I've kind of been putting abstinence on the backburner while i focus on more material problems in my life. Those circumstances end soon though, hopefully it won't be long before I can fully focus on my recovery once more.

 

Well you are on your way to get rid of it ! Your PMO free streaks are getting longer and longer ! Do you do meditation everyday?
..and yeah bathroom is a dangerous place to stay there longer then really necessary. It's a place filled with triggers and urges, maybe because of the old memories-associations with it. I recon we all have to be extra vigilant when using bathroom.
...maybe next time before 'deep fishing' do your breathing and realize that you have a choice of either going to fish and give in to lust or heading up here ,reading some posts and maybe running some miles outside...really anything in the right direction is good.

 

Today's meditation was was filled with urges, I mean when focusing on one thing your mind is getting drawn to the place between your legs. Some kind of the tug of war.

 

307 days dwarf king
382 days no PMO, semen retention