The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Checking in friends.
No P - 186
No M - 15
No O - 15

Hi @RiseToGreatness hope you don't mind but I have taken the liberty of changing the status in my signature to that of Hobbit. There are few greater pleasures in this forum than shedding the orc skin, reaching Hobbiton and beginning the quest as a true hobbit again!

Last stretch I was strong after 150 days and told myself I could look more at movies etc... because their content would not trigger me any longer. What I had actually started doing was flirting with temptation (fishing)

On this stretch I am committing to avoiding all tempting situations in my life going forward

As per the latest FF video, we are commanded to flee from temptation, and flee I will:
"Radically cut off the source of temptations
Pray we don't have to face temptation
and when we do face temptation
flee from that temptation"

 

Crash Analysis for any setbacks

1. Describe the last relapse you experienced...describe the crash site in vivid detail(when, where, triggers, nature of acting out, length of time).

2. What did the start of the downward spiral look and feel like?
a. List the last three weeks of your Faster Scale results. What was the lowest level you reached each week prior to relapse?
b. In detail, describe the Double Binds you were struggling with during those three weeks.
c. Why do you think you never resolved those Double Binds so you could get off the Faster Scale and return to Restoration?

3. What accelerated the downward plunge?
a. What were your Commitments to Change during those three weeks?
b. Why did you give up on the Commitment to Change that could have pulled you out of the downward spiral?
c. How many calls to group members have you committed to make each week?
d. Why didn’t you call a group member for help when you were headed into the ground?
e. What were the triggers that set you up?
f. What boundaries did you ignore or willfully violate?

4. What lessons did you learn from this relapse?

5. If you experience multiple relapses what is the common pattern in your relapses?

6. What new guidelines do you need to put into place with respect to: Sleep, Exercise, Media usage, Your tendency to isolate, Others

7. What is your plan for the next time you find yourself in a similar pattern of relapse?

 

Day 9 - Close call last night. I should note I am flatlining and I did not even realize it until I was browsing the internet for an hour trying to feel something. I fished a little bit, even saw somethings (thumbnails, but I did not click on the videos). I did see one non-nude photo that triggered a response. The response was, "What the hell am I doing?" The photo reminded me of what I told myself 9.5 days ago when I last PMO'd, and I closed out and immediately reached out to my accountability partner. I was on dangerous grounds. Not in danger of PMO or MO, but definitely a danger of binging porn for no other reason than to look at porn. Luckily I stopped before I saw too much, but the browsing of the internet and Youtube for an hour, even if not explicitly looking for porn, is unhelpful. It reminded me why I was not looking at Youtube the last week and it looks like there will be no Youtube for another week (if not permanently). I will definitely be on the lookout for mindless browsing coming up, and if I do it again in the next week, I will do a soft reset. I was not opposed to fishing before, so I am not resetting, but if I do it again, I will reset.

Best,
Mathman1994

 

Missed a couple check ins. So, checking in

 

Very useful, thanks! This is a post to mark.

 

Day 0 @RiseToGreatness

I slipped up. It has been a long weekend, and I am just worn out and when I was searching for something on eBay, I saw some "related searches" (with it in quotations, because it had nothing to do with what I was searching for yet the algorithm pulled it up). Anyway, after that, I just fapped. It sucks, but I made it 9 days which is the longest I have done in 2 months.

Best,
Mathman1994

 

Take care, brother,it is not a wise move to behave in a way that induces more urges. The ones that naturally comes are already enough. Just giving you an advice, you should ponder it and do what will help you the most.

 

308 days

 

Day 4.

 

Day 3 complete! I'm slowly getting over this hurdle and working my way out of the rough patch that's kept me down for a few weeks.

@Baby Yoda The plasticity of the brain is a wonderful thing. No day without PMO is a waste, and 55 of them strung together represents a great blow against addiction. Now you simply have the opportunity to put yourself to the test. Stay sharp!

 

Day 1

I’m having a job interview today, so stress is high, but so is hope.

Good luck today everyone

 

Day 98 No PMO

 

Day 1, starting again. Was sick **** covid

 

Indeed...it was a calculated risk, since I needed to get and meet some people as this useless lockdown took a heavy toll on my mental state. I am however proud to say that I have managed tobget past yesterday also, and even been productive.

 

Day 35! I'm feeling good today...probably better than most of my work coleagues that seem quite tired of working today.
As expected, by this day, I'm statting to think better and calmer and getting more information out of life.
I want to thank you for being around. It helps me with great detail.

 

No PMO: Day 27

 

Checking in on Day 169.

 

Day 2 complete!

 

313 days dwarf king
388 days no PMO, semen retention

 

day 12 , close to the shire