The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 0 (Nazgûl)
the road is long but I have faith

 

One day down!

 

@Revanthegrey and @ListenPaul haha thanks for the warning! I had no idea! I have actually seen bits of the show myself (never finished it though) and know what you're talking about. I will definitely not be picking it up to watch now. At least I can tell someone who and what the picture is if someone asks.

Thanks again.

 

day 16. that was a relaxing time away, i have that again. i get to relax at bree

 

The urges are strong today, I've made it to the afternoon and it's been a struggle. @RiseToGreatness your post to bob200 on the steps to a relapse really helped me out. I noticed I was just binging youtube trying to distract myself but not that secretly hoping to see something that I shouldn't. Luckily I remembered what you said and I can't remember who else said this too about how you make the decision to relapse way before you actually do. I felt the truth in that today.

So, I'm off to Starbucks now to not be alone and hopefully be a little productive.

 

I never made it to Starbucks. I failed. Quite badly... I'm depressed after this one. Can't wait till today is over.

 

I have reclaimed my Orcness. I've come to see this as I would being a digimon. In the original show they often went down quite a few levels after reaching a new level, but once they knew how they could digivolve into the higher form again much easier.

 

53 days. Another day where I focused on my work and barely felt any urges.

 

24 days

 

Thank you so much everyone.

I’m on my feet again.

I’m so sorry brother. I know it feels like hell but being able to face the pain and write again to all of us is the greatest thing you can do right now. it means that you are still connected and that you have not been lost completely. I hope that after this massage you have been able to salvage even the smallest joy from the day.

For me, that was a recuring pattern. If I felt like I’ve failed, even if it was in 10:00, I would just give up on that day and just try and make it end fast (I would do it with weed and taking two or three naps a day) and it was the worst idea ever.

Only in the last couple of years I’ve tried to fucus on just trying to save the day I’m in instate of trying to make tomorrow better. last time I’ve wrote I watched porn for a couple of hours and felt like shit. But taking myself to a coffee place and reading the stuff you guys wrote me and just trying to do one thing right really made the difference. So what if you didn’t reach Starbucks on the time you wanted, even if you PMO 6 time and waste 6 hours (been there). If you’ll try and save the same day and stop at 6 and not make it to the 7 time. that is still a win.

We are going need each other extra hard for the next couple of weeks. On some shitty level it feels good to start at bottom with other people. We are in this together now.

I forget about that show! I just want to go and watch it again right now. but I totally get what you are saying. I’ve made it to hobbit once, I know I can do it again.

 

Nice video.

 

Day 26 completed

 

Day 23
Some urges but manageable.

 

Day 2 - The Dark Fortress, Barad-dûr.

 

Day 159

 

@MS PBH Right behind you. Day 152 for me no PMO. I always notice your posts because I’m one week behind you and I wonder why you usually just give the days with no additional info. Thanks for posting… it helps me.

last night was a close call. My youngest kicked me out of bed because she wanted to sleep with my wife so I was in the guest room. I was upset about the situation (this happens more than is normal) and I started watching YouTube and hoping to see something on the edge. Just then my older child came in the guest room and asked if she could sleep in there with me so the phone went away and I made it out without any PMO. I’ll try to do better about managing my emotions.

 

375 days dwarf king
451 days no PMO, semen retention