The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by RiseToGreatness, Sep 22, 2019.

Should the Thread Title be extended?

Poll closed Jun 21, 2020.
  1. No, leave like that: "The Lord of the Rings Challenge"

    18 vote(s)
  2. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Fellowship of Nofap"

    15 vote(s)
  3. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: Rising Fellowship of Eärendil"

    0 vote(s)
  4. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Journey to Mount Doom"

    5 vote(s)
  5. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Quest of the Ring-bearer"

    6 vote(s)
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Cysia

    Cysia Fapstronaut

    I've red cold shower also helps loosing weigh because it improves the blood flow.
    I will need to try that too, but I need to pull myself toguether ><
    Also apparently hot shower is not good for the flesh and accelerate the appearance of wrinkles :/
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2021
  2. Chi405

    Chi405 Fapstronaut

  3. modern milarepa

    modern milarepa Fapstronaut

    Monk vs relationship (from a former monk perspective)

    Current streak
    : 474 days no PMO, semen retention

    I was a monk, I lived in a monastery, and also I was a voluntary celibate for many years, I had this notion since 10 y.o to be a free man and my happiness needed to be independent from any external source, including girls.

    At some point in university I decided to date girls, it wasn’t as bad as I thought and I can say some months with a girl taught me more about myself, than 10 years alone doing meditation.

    In Taoism celibacy is considered an advanced practice; they consider that to balance your sexual energy is more difficult while being single.

    At the beginning dating girls helped me to balance my sexual energy, also girls have helped me to work on myself, they act as a mirror of your own flaws, they can make you go crazy, angry, lustful if you don’t handle a relationship the right way.

    The problem of being alone is that you can simply ignore your own flaws and it won’t matter, with girls is more like being at war you are in the battlefield and if you don’t want to die you need to develop emotional, psychological and energetic strength so you can handle a girl.

    As you can see dealing with girls as been more for me a process to help me grow, they are more like a psychological work to me than a pleasure.

    Right now I still keep learning from girls, so I keep dating. Maybe later I’ll be back to be alone. Only time and my own evolution will tell.

    -See your interactions with girls as a process of self-growth
  4. Revanthegrey

    Revanthegrey Fapstronaut

  5. jaberwaki

    jaberwaki Fapstronaut

    Just my two cents here, coming from a man who's lost two wives to PMO and tried many, many times to "just" masturbate. And is STILL trying to take his own advice : )

    I think your therapist and girlfriend, and by extension you, are working from a false premise. The basic belief here is that you NEED orgasms to be ok. That you are for some reason "owed" a certain number of O's a month, and if you're not getting it from your GF you need to get it from your hand instead, and if you don't masturbate its all up to your GF to meet your quota of orgasms. That's a straight up lie, and if your basic belief is that it's your right to receive X orgasms a month, your relationship is never going to thrive.

    Worse, PMO has conditioned you to believe that that 'quota' is ridiculously high. PMO has taught your brain that 1) if it's not getting sex at least once a day something is wrong, and 2) literally every interaction with your GF should result in sex. After all, it does in porn! That's the framework you're working out of, and until you resolve that and rewire your brain, you'll always be feeling that you're not 'getting' enough. And it will always be a lie.

    What going hard mode for 90+ days can teach us is that sex is not a need. It's a want. An incredibly powerful one, but all the same. You mentioned in your post that when you took PMO out of the equation your relationship with your GF blossomed. That's awesome! But that just reinforces that the solution here isn't to masturbate more, it's to "need" sex less. Which means to realize you don't need it at all. I'd highly encourage you to try that with your GF--three months of no sex, no masturbation. See where that takes your relationship.

    The analogy that your therapist used about only eating with your partner is wrong. Here's the correct one: You're a food addict, you eat any time you're depressed, sad, lonely, angry, happy, bored. Because you're so used to eating your emotions, when you try to get control of it and only eat with your partner, your body is screaming at you that this isn't enough food, that you're going to die if you don't snack between meals. You're starving all the time, and it's fucking torture. Every day feels like you're malnourished--surely this can't be good for you--and you start to wonder if it wouldn't be healthier to sneak some food on your own. After all, your partner just doesn't need as much food as you, so it's not fair to only eat with her. But slowly, over time, your metabolism starts to adjust. Your body starts to learn that most of the calories it has been consuming aren't needed. You're not dying, in fact you're thriving. The connection between your partner over meals grows, along with your communication, and you start opening up to her more. You feel comfortable sharing your feelings with her, and stop believing you need to eat a jumbo pack of M&Ms just to be ok that you had a shitty day at work. The two of you learn to cook new dishes together, and bond over the experiences. You realize that the time you spend with her talking over a plate of roasted vegetables is more valuable than a hundred "sessions" alone with a bag of dorritos. Taking a jar of nutella into the bathroom to eat alone no longer seems necessary, or even enjoyable. In fact it makes you sad to realize you were so lost in your addiction that it seemed good at all. You've lost the extra weight, you're more healthy, your skin has cleared up. You're finally listening to the actual caloric needs of your body instead of the emotional desperation of your addiction.

    Jerking off only reinforces that the point of sex is for your own release. It also keeps that false need humming in the back of your mind at all times, greasing the wheels of the false narrative that if you don't orgasm every day your world will fall apart. That not only is wrong, but it also diminishes the sexual experiences you have with your GF. "This is MY need. I am OWED this release. I DESERVE this." That's just vagina-assisted masturbation, and it devalues your relationship. Sex is about connection with your partner. Intimacy. Giving, not taking.

    Instead, learn to orient your sexuality to be a RESPONSE to intimacy, rather than a NEED to be met, and I promise you not only won't need to masturbate, but you'll have the best sex of your relationship. Sure, it might not be as frequent as your PMO addled brain thinks it should be, but it will be special, deeply connected, and build up your relationship. Stop being obsessed with quantity and go for quality. It's fucking hard, but you can do it!

    Finally, just try to masturbate without imagining a porn scene in your head. Even if you're recalling past sexual exploits, that's still just recreating a scene. You're cutting the same PMO grooves, and when you go to your GF you'll be acting out of those grooves rather than responding to the intimacy of the moment.

    PMO has taught you that every tough thing in life can be resolved by jerking off, alone. And it's wrecked you and your relationship. "Just" masturbating, and finding a rationale for it, is your addiction trying to keep its claws in you. Trust me, if you continue to masturbate, it will quickly not be enough and you'll be back in front of the computer, alone.
  6. maradona10

    maradona10 Fapstronaut

    Totally agree, being around girls gives you a whole new perspective.
  7. rotten_tomato

    rotten_tomato Fapstronaut

  8. Ironguy5

    Ironguy5 Fapstronaut

    Day 16

    “The Quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little, and it will fail, to the ruin of all. Yet hope remains while the Company is true.”
  9. Are-we-there-yet?

    Are-we-there-yet? Fapstronaut

    I am, yeah. Are you?
  10. Are-we-there-yet?

    Are-we-there-yet? Fapstronaut

    Yeah! that was interesting alright. Thanks for sharing mate.
  11. Are-we-there-yet?

    Are-we-there-yet? Fapstronaut

    Yeah! To reward myself lol. And what happened to me? Just still addicted man and kinda depressed about it haha.

    But hey! Still moving forward.
  12. Cysia

    Cysia Fapstronaut

    A question though...

    Why is dwarf king above elf king ?
    And high king above all the others ?
    Shouldn't it be the other way around ? (dwarves suck)
  13. Vanquisher12

    Vanquisher12 Fapstronaut

  14. logeyik

    logeyik Fapstronaut

    I'm in for the day 13 (status currently updating)
  15. goldchain

    goldchain Fapstronaut

    Day 2.

    Had a video-call with psychologist, spoke about things that disturbing me. Planned a little trip to another city for 2 days.
    Mordor has millions of lost souls, I don't wanna be one of them.
  16. modern milarepa

    modern milarepa Fapstronaut

    474 days SR
    45 days no sex

    Death and sleep
    Some interesting things happened with girls today, but I'm kind of bored to talk about girls tbh haha.

    Something interesting, I saw some videos about death and sleep it basically says if you are able to remain conscious at the moment you fall sleep this will help tremendously in the moment of death.

    I always liked lucid dreaming and I found that doing what I just mentioned is a bit hard. I'm going to start trying.
  17. Redemptionisrequired

    Redemptionisrequired Fapstronaut

    Well done bro! You're doing great.

    To reduce your nocturnal emission, you need to focus on stopping yourself from fantasizing. Create a "mantra" to interrupt the moment a fantasy pops up. Practice this every single time, over ti
    Well said man, this well thought out and pertinent advice for the brothers in or looking for a relationship.
  18. Redemptionisrequired

    Redemptionisrequired Fapstronaut

    Checking in Fellowship friends!

    Day 208 free of MO , Day 280 free of Porn!

    I had a great workout today, a nice meditation session and a fruitful workday.

    Day by day , I'm starting to feel like myself again, in fact my aim to feel better than I have when things were at their best in my life.

    Have a great day !
  19. Cysia

    Cysia Fapstronaut

    Are nocturnal emission that bad ?
    Won't it be counterproductive to try to stop them ?

    Don't know, I'm really asking.
  20. Redemptionisrequired

    Redemptionisrequired Fapstronaut

    Good question my friend, the answer depends on who you ask. If you're looking to practice semen retention , then yes, it's bad. If you're simply looking to quit porn, not as much of a big deal.

    BUT, the issue lies in the fact that he's had 3 NE's in 16 days. 1 every5 days or so days. He must be fantasizing a lot. In my opinion, at that frequency, it will hinder your progress. Fantasizing is also an issue, along this journey you should work on your mind, as to not be overly obsessed with sex. At least, that's how I see it.

    Let me add this as well, the more time you spend engaged in fantasy, the quicker you will lead yourself down the path to full blown PMO.

    It's not about going to bed stressed about having one or not, just clearing your thoughts.

Share This Page