The Lord of the Rings Challenge

You honor me. Thank you.

 

Day 15

Here I am in Hobbiton. Ready for a smoke, then getting on the road to Bree.

 

I've felt that before. That I'll never get past this. However, you must see it for the lie that it is. You can get past this man. Every mistake and relapse is a learning experience and every day clean is a rewiring of your brain. With enough time, things will come together for you. You just got to keep trying, keep pushing, and don't give up. It's okay to fall so long as you get up again.

 

Good Luck!

 

Hey! I'm an Uruk-Hai! I remember being jealous of the guy's who got to this point.

So, I'm on day 10. Get past today and I'll be into the 2 digits! I had the briefest of moments just now thinking, "it shouldn't be too difficult." This is a lie! I must see it for what it is. Though I currently have no urges they can come from nowhere and strike so fast. Vigilance is key!

 

Day 34...

I head towards the mountains.

 

Day 30 my longest streak yet by the grace of God.

 

Here, I'm 17 days clean, if that matters.

 

Thank you for your support and congrats!
I agree that to be vigilant is better than to be sorry (afterwards)
This is no joke! We are Frodo! Let's get the ring to Mount Doom.

Since I was the whole evening on devices and in my mind, now where I get tired I think again to use porn. It feels so natural to follow this urge. But since I realize this, I won't give in! It might be irresponsible that I'm still online and tired, but it's clear to me: NOT TODAY!
No pasaran!

We learnt that watching porn is nothing and pmo'ing in broad daylight is normal. Now we have to learn that even a single nude is bad for us. Relearn ...

 

When drunk or under influence of other substances, your brain is affected and some cognitive inhibitions posed by frontal cortex are removed. But this doesn't mean the "true self" comes out.

The bottom line is, don't blame yourself for the contents of your dream. It's just not under your control when you are in REM phase of sleep.

 

483 SR
54 days no sex

Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone I know I know I know I know I’m going to leave the young thing alone but ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone – Bill Withers

A new date, old friends looking old
I texted today the new gym girl I cold approached yesterday to meet up to do some abs at the gym.

-she: I hate doing abs
-me: me too, only do it with someone else.

She told me she was almost going to the gym. I told her I was going to be in the stretching room doing yoga. I find an easy gym date is to tell the girls to do abs and stretching, I don’t like to train with girls, also I train like a savage so I’m not very friendly when training but abs and yoga is a perfect opportunity to talk and touch each other.

I went to the gym I did some movement practice and also I was talking with some dudes at the weight section, they are almost my age but look 10 years older than me, they like to party, drugs, have a lot of sex, I know one of them since childhood he used to look more fit, better genetics and more handsome than me. Now he doesn’t come even close to my physique, strength, energy or looks. Even do he always trains, but likes to party. I have never been to a party in my life and I don’t drink, know I can see all the effects a healthy life gives you.

I forgot about the girl tbh, I get in the zone when I train.
The girl texted me

-she: you didn’t go to the gym right
-me: yes, I’m right here
-She: hmm I went to check on you and you weren’t where you told me you were gonna be.
-me: maybe I was helping a friend in the weight room. It’s a shame do. I guess now we’ll have to see each other outside the gym. There’s no other way.
-She: hahahaha ok that is fine with me.
-Me: when are you free?
-She: right now I have to work the afternoon part of the night shift and I only have free time in the morning and is really hard to have any time for anything, how about when I start the half day shift we go out, is that ok?
-Me: sure, it’s great you still go to the gym even with that hard shift. I will see you tomorrow at the gym. Have a great day, hug.
She: I would like that, great day to you too.

 

Keep up the good work my friend, you're making amazing progress. I can tell by your writing that you've been sharpening your mindset. Yes, always keep the vigilance. The temptation demon will try to sneak into any crack.

Well done, truly!

 

Checking in Fellowship friends!

Day 289 free of porn, day 217 free of MO.

I was experimenting with a B12 supplement (100MCG daily) for around 8 days, turns out it played in negatively for me. I was wondering where the random anxiety came from at night, it's a stimulant for your neurotransmitters. I mean, if you're deficient, of course it'll help. If you're in a healthy range, I'd say seek to increase it via foods like fish/eggs/beef liver.

I had a productive work day, workout and meditation session today.

Consistent vigilance is key in this fight my friends, do not give in to the temptation demon(The one ring is a liar!).

Stay strong!

 

Last night was tough, I was having THE urge and I was resulte. I didn't fell for it, but got my kindle and started to read something. It worked out pretty well, as the reading distracted me from the urge. The bad part is that I lost almost an hour from sleep, but it was for a good reason. I found out that reading some narrative works best for me, cuz some theorical stuff usually makes me more overwhelmed in the moment of need. I'm currently reading The Old Man and The Sea, pretty good book indeed.
Good night yall!

 

DAY 26 THURSDAY Today i experienced the 6th Nocturnal Emission in this 26 days streak.FED UP

 

402 days

 

Day 1 complete. Better an Orc than a Nazgul, but better still to be neither. I look forward to those days. They'll be here soon.

This whole ordeal is a marathon, not a sprint. I'm coming to realize that more and more each day. Fortunately, I got into distance running a few years ago, and it's been really good for me. It's taught me that I don't have to give up, ever, and I won't quit working towards my goals.

 

Day 192

 

56 days – In the bridge of Khazad Dûm a strong battle is fought against PMO.

Yesterday was feeling too sad emotionally. I managed it. My PMO was associated with my emotions therefore I am facing emotional withdrawal symptoms. So i am learning new methods to manage my emotions. Rathan than short term relief from PMO as I did in past which follows an intense pain . I now know better about it. BTW to manage emotions by new methods is difficult but not impossible.

One thing more together with no PMO i am ASLO on semen retention so for brothers who are on same path like me, I want to share important point for them that with semen retention our body has more amount of energy at some point and our bodies are composed are like that, they must release that excess energy in any form as we are sex addicts and many of us don't know how to change it another form so our body will try to release it sexually and we get relapse in this way, so for that we must have knowledge how to transmute sexual energy into other productive forms..