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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by RiseToGreatness, Sep 22, 2019.
5 days. I have gotten sick so I just worked a regular workday and rested in the evening.
Had some urges in the night, but did not give in. Stay vigilant
Day 17 - Hobbiton, The Shire.
430 days high king
497 days no PMO, semen retention
Back to 0, the sheer stress of school work was very overwhelming and I caved. No binge, just in-deed-out. I got to find a way to ride out this heightened stress.
I'm still managing to do my habits that I need. Like my morning routine that ends with some exercise and this nightly one of writing to you guys. I'm in a very tough place though. I feel trapped and only way forward is through hell.
@bob200 I'm studying Organic Chemistry, Physics, and General Biology 2 this semester.
It's okay if you cannot join my thread for not having spare time. Actually my thread was created from the sole purpose of quitting PMO for good. It does not matter where you are participating. It matters whether you can successfully quit PMO or not. You are managing a nice thread here. It's really helpful to many Fapstronauts.
My NoFap streak is nothing compared to yours. You have already become a pro-Fapstronaut. Carry on, mate. Keep in touch.
Day 12 completed
Eyyo, I'm an uruk-hai
Lucid dreams/wet dreams
Usually I have lucid dreams daily, I can have sex in the dream without ejaculation. And cafn create scenarios or girls with no problem.
Lately I've been in the dream surrounded of beautiful girls and consciously decided not to have sex. I consider this a good simptom because your dreams show your most deep desires and if your dreams are clean it means your whole mind is clean.
Speed ticket/webcam model
Yesterday I got a notification of a camera speed ticket I already paid, probably I'll have to go to court for it. Because I already paid it and don't want to pay it again.
This was last year, I got the ticket because I was going to see this webcam girl, when we first met I didn't know she was a Webcam model. We had sex for a while then I just stop because there was something in her energy I didn't like.
She kept texting me and said she wanted to see me even if it wasn't for sex. We only met for sex since the first day we met. I didn't replied. I was starting to see she was developing feelings for me. This was the first and probably only time I broke a girl's heart without any good reason for doing it.
I remember after I realized this I never had casual sex again, later I found out she was a webcam model and was even doing escorting, she was a high level escort. But she stop it while we were together.
I did some research in the webcam and escort world to find out. She was just too young, rich and beautiful, spent days partying. she told me she was studying psychology but I could tell from the way she speaks she was not a university student.
Day 198 no PMO. The last couple days were filled with urges but I think that is past me now. Just a few more days until I get to 200. Feeling good. Have a great day guys.
still one of the bad guys, but at least an Uruk-Hai!
Like always, life is crazy, but I’ve still found time to meditate this morning. I’m using the HeadSpace app for meditation and they also have a day counter to se how many days in a row you can meditate and It’s funny how my two counters are aligned, being able to meditate everyday is so helpful in working on nofap. Or maybe it’s the other way around and not fapping gives me time and energy to meditate. But in any case, it’s great.
Last night I had sex after a long long time without it. And it was kind of awkward this morning to wake up super horny. I don’t remember what’s the name of this phenomenon, but I remember that after sex of M there is a spike in the craving, and I feel it now and after I’ve calm dawn it’s kind of funny to just sit and feel it.
My last excuse for pmo was one of the classics: "I already had to reset my counter the night before, so ..." additionally my addicted brain felt that it "made sense", that p- and m-counter are in synch again (through the pmo session)
At least no long binges by the way.
In this state of mind it's pretty obvious that also my procrastination continues.
I really have to get my shit together!
I want to reduce my activity in the forum a bit. I know that planning ahead can be as fruitless as making resolutions and promises, for a porn addict. Also counting days as a whole could be a concept that doesn't really get one further in recovery. But still ...
21. Januar 2023 - this could be the day where I reach 500, become a white wizzard and finish this challenge successfully.
I want to abstain from m too. But yet I don't really believe in my ability to do it as I believe in my ability to stay away from porn (if I only realize the mindset I've worked on for so long). So I set my counter to days without p again. But my goal is still to abstain from it all: fantasizing, using stimulating media, masturbating (with or without O) and even looking/staring at girls (rl) in a sexual way.
I think it's what we refer to as the "chaser effect", here is a link if you want to read more about it: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-porn-use-faqs/what-is-the-chaser/
It can be dangerous, I had it after my wet dream recently and I identified it afterwards as one of the main causes for my relapse. So please be careful when these urges come, you're doing great
Day 70 of No PMO. Had a wet dream today.
great avatar bro. Looking good
that´s an excellent idea bro, i do it as well. write it down and read it, it´s better for motivation
ok bro, if you feel it´s the best for you . just don´t forget that in this challenge, if you fap or edge you´re going back to "you know where".
best of luck!!
no worries bro. that´s not a problem, wet dreams are not bad, pmo is! always bear the difference in mind, because the addiction can and will trick you on that.
Meanwhile congratulations, you´re a Warrior of Gondor now .
Day two is here once again. Wish me luck this time!
I realize now that I still have not made the decision to stop m. I am trying to make that decision, but the morning after sex it goes right out the window and I fall every time. This means that I have, at least in those moments, made the decision to keep m. I have not fully decided that I will stop, or I would. I need something to change so that I make a real decision to actually stop.
At least I have been staying away from psubs for a couple weeks or so, and free of p for 307 days. It is a start. Masturbation loses its appeal when I do not fantasize, too. I will try staying away from psubs and fantasy for starters.
Congratulations! I have been there and am looking to get back this time once again. Thanks for the inspiration; keep it up!
I used all the free meditations on HeadSpace. Now I use Insight Timer on my iPhone. I have been using it for a year and a half. I like that it is on my phone because I can meditate anywhere by pulling it right out of my pocket, and because I am not on a computer where the other distractions live.
In any case, good on you for meditating. I like to say that meditation is better than medication. Sometimes one needs less of the latter when doing the former.