The Married Guy's Guide to Wife

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  1. Hi guys,

    One of the resources that I've gotten quite a bit out of post-reboot is Athol Kay's "The Married Guy's Guide to Wife". I've watched all the videos, and now I'm going back through and working through the exercises. I thought I'd post this stuff here on this private forum.

    I welcome your comments and feedback. Hopefully you can glean a little of what the series covers from the exercises I'm doing.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 17, 2019
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  2. Married Guy's Guide to Wife, 1-1
    Three Critical Mistakes that Ruin Your Sex Life

    As I mentioned, here's the beginning of working through Athol Kay's video series.

    1. Stop whining, pouting, and resenting your wife for not having sex with you. I really think I have done this as best as I can. This is one of those things I've focused on pretty strongly, after reading his book. In the end, I can't always avoid feeling hurt or rejected, but if this is the case, I'm honest about it while reminding myself that it's not intentional on her part. I need to work on the long term stuff that will give her something to respond to, and the attraction and desire will come.

    2. Stop over-showering her with niceness to try to get sex. This wasn't as big of a problem for me, but I've been aware of it some. I'm particularly sensitive that if she says "you're smothering me" that I need to back off. This video series has been helpful in making me aware of how sexual attraction works with women, and that I need to project confidence and not desperation. It helps that there is some real change, that has genuinely made me more confident and less desperate!

    3. Get in Shape. Well, I'm trying to be more intentional about this, but it may take a more serious commitment than I'm attempting. Right now my plan is to bike to and from work as often as I can, for cardio, and to do pushups and abs on alternating days for muscle. If I can get these to be genuine parts of my routine, it may be enough. I really don't want to join a gym, and I don't really have the time to be out of the home that much and asking my wife to watch the kids even more. But this is important, and we'll have to see if what I'm doing is enough.
  3. Married Guy's Guide to Wife, 1-2
    I Love You But I'm Not In Love With You

    Here's video number two. These questions were a bit hard.

    1. What was the awesome thing you used to do, when she was first attracted to you, that you don't do anymore? Can you start it back up?
    I did love to draw, and I've kept that up off and on. I was really involved in a Christian student organization - I had just gone overseas on an outreach trip when we met. I loved to go out and sit under the stars and dream, and talk late into the night. I wanted to dream about the future. I was passionate and spiritual. I read books, and read with her. I'm not quite sure which is "the thing" that I need to resurrect. Reading might be a really good one, because that also spurs passionate conversation, and I don't read as many books as before (mostly have my face on screens now).

    2. What does she do which signals attraction? Things she used to do when you were dating, or maybe things that irritate you when she does towards other guys. Look for clues...
    She gets chatty, and laughs. I know it bothered me when a friend of mine would come over and she just spends the whole time talking to him, and I felt like I couldn't get a word in edgewise.

    3. What was the best date or moment before you got marred? And what was it about you that worked for her?
    This is hard, because we didn't really go on that many notable planned dates. We had a few restaurants that we really liked, and went back a lot. We would drive to her family's home four hours away in the mountains, and I remember listening to books together in the car. We would read together on the grass on campus. We would watch movies together. We hung out and talked a lot. I think I was just very personally engaged with her. I wanted to share experiences with her, and just be with her.
  4. LastChance777

    LastChance777 New Fapstronaut

    Thanks for posting! This looks like a great resource, have you seen/used any of the authors other materials?

  5. I read his “Married Man Sex Life Primer” which was good, but not as good as the video series. It’s expensive though - $100 for all 20 hours, and you can only watch through Vimeo. But for me it’s totally worth it.

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