The Master Series: 3,000 Years of Wisdom

Listen to the voice of the great Persian mystic:

"Know that every bad habit is a thorn bush
And you have already pierced your feet many times (...)
Anger and lust make a man squint;
They cloud the spirit so it strays from truth.
When self interest appears, virtue hides:
A hundred veils rise up between the heart and the eye"
Rumi

And the Lebanese poet:

“And now you ask in your heart, ‘How shall we distinguish that which is good in pleasure from that which is not good?’ Go to your fields and your gardens, and you shall learn that it is the pleasure of the bee to gather honey of the flower, But it is also the pleasure of the flower to yield its honey to the bee.
For to the bee a flower is a fountain of life,
And to the flower a bee is a messenger of love,
And to both, bee and flower, the giving and the receiving of pleasure is a need and an ecstasy""
Kahlil Gibran

Here's some encouragement to avoid repeating the same mistakes (from Rumi) and a metaphoric definition of a fulfilling sexual experience. It is about intimacy ("into you I see") in a committed relationship, not about pleasuring ourselves in front of a computer, or visualizing women as consumption objects.

 

"Every habit and faculty is preserved and increased by its corresponding actions: the habit of walking makes us better walkers, regular running makes us better runners. It is the same regarding matters of the soul. Whenever you are angry, you increase your anger; you have increased a habit and added fuel to the fire. If you don't want an angry temper, then don't feed the habit". Hence every time you add one day to you counter you are improving a good habit, staying away from the lie of porn and compulsive sexual behavior.

You may want to read the beautiful little booklet by Sharon Lebell ("The Art of Living") where she interprets the ideas of Epictetus, the father of the Stoic philosophical school.

 

On the importance of meditation:

"The Warrior of the Light meditates.

He sits in a quiet place in his tent and surrenders himself to the divine light. When he does this, he tries not to think about anything; he shuts himself off from the search for pleasure, from challenges and revelations, and allows his gifts and powers to reveal themselves.

Even if he does not recognize them then, these gifts and powers will take care of his life and will influence his day-to-day existence. While he meditates, the Warrior is not himself, but a spark from the Soul of the World. Meditation gives him an understanding of his responsibilities and of how he should behave accordingly.

A Warrior of the Light knows that in the silence of his heart he will hear an order that will guide him"

 

Kenji, many thanks for these excellent videos. I actually love Thich Naht Hanh. I carry several audibooks and lectures of his in my iPhone. A truly inspiring Zen Master. Much appreciated!

 

The Dalai Dama's 18 Rules for Living

http://www.highexistence.com/rules-for-living/

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk. Risk is involved in every great opportunity in life. It it isn’t risky, then everyone would be doing, thus making it ordinary and not “great.” Separate yourself from the crowd as one who not only can take risks, but enjoys doing so. Certainty in life can only be so comforting until it gets boring.

2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson. If you lose what you have learned not to do, you will be doomed to repeat it. More importantly, however, do fear failure. Failure is the precursor to success. Hardly any great thing that you wish to accomplish will come without failure. This ties back to the rule of risk mentioned above.

3. Follow the three Rs:

1. Respect for self – Confidence is key in success and one who does you respect himself does not believe in himself. Thus, if you do not respect yourself, you cannot possibly succeed in anything great, nor can you respect others.
2. Respect for others – And you will be respected in return. Anyone who does not return that respect is immediately letting you know that they are not worth your time, and that they do not respect themselves. Avoid weak/insecure/self-loathing people.
3. Responsibility for all your actions – You alone are responsible for your feelings, actions, success, etc. You are in complete control of your life, so do not try and blame other people for your mistakes or misfortunes.

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. Not everything that you desire will be necessarily good for you in the long run. If something just seems to not work out continually, in such a way that it seems almost like fate intervened, consider letting it go or coming back to it at another time. The Universe works in mysterious ways and should be trusted. Just be sure you are not mistaking your own failure as the Universe telling you something.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly. Rules are meant to be broken. Most of them are put in place by archaic, corrupt institutions that seek only to enslave and maintain their own power. When it comes to breaking them, be sure to do it properly to avoid punishment. But above all things, make sure you DO in fact break rules. If authority was never questioned, we could be astagnant civilization.

6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship. Obviously friendship is more important that one small fight, but very few people actually put this rule into practice. They also need to be able to follow rule #7 in order to truly follow #6.

7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. And do not let your pride get in the way of taking those steps. Apologize, taking full responsibility. That will speak for your character more strongly than the action of making the mistake in the first place.

8. Spend some time alone every day. No matter what you do, take at least 30 minutes out of your day to spend alone in a quiet place. This will give you at least a half-hour to examine what is going on in your life, to examine yourself and to figure out what you want. Whether it be through prayer, meditation, yoga or golf, this ritual is a must. The Law of Attraction is the best way to spend this time.

9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values. This world is constantly changing. If you are not open to change, then you are going to live a very miserable life. You, yourself, are going to change as well, but that does not mean that your values have to change as well. Welcome new places, new faces and new loves, but never change those core parts of you unless you have strong reasons to believe you were wrong to believe them in the first place.

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. Silence leads to relaxed contemplation during which emotions have less influence and logic can take over. For example, in an argument with a friend, remaining silent instead of retaliating with something anger-driven is more efficient in ending the argument faster and with less hurt for both parties. Or consider Gandhi, who took down the British Empire through silent, pacifistic behavior. Silence is a powerful tool that few choose to use over irrational action. Consider it next time you find yourself in a difficult situation.

11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time. You are going to have to live with your actions for the rest of your life, so save yourself the regret and anguish and live with honor now. Good things also come to good people. You will never be punished for acting with integrity, only rewarded.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life. This is the rule that you have the least amount of control over. Your family dynamic will ultimately determine your home atmosphere, but you can definitely help it along by showing your family that you love them. As in rule #3, if you respect (love) your family, they will provide you with respect and love in return. This rule comes to play again when starting a family. Inject love into your home. Make the walls glisten with endearment. That will set a solid foundation for the lives of your children.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past. The past is constant, unchanging. Bringing it up can only bring more pain to the current situation. This is a problem especially with loved ones because relationships with them go so far back into the past and are so fueled by emotion. Forgive any past actions and focus on the present.

14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.One learns so much just from living a lifetime. Share that knowledge with the people you come across, it can only help them in their journeys. Even more important, share your failures so that others will not repeat them.

15. Be gentle with the earth.The earth is where we live. So this should be obvious. Hurting the earth is hurting yourself and the futures of your children and loved ones.

16. Once a year As often as possible, go someplace you’ve never been before. Experience new places and new things. You might find yourself with someone or somewhere that makes you much happier than your previous circumstance. The Earth is so vast with unique and beautiful places, why wouldn’t you want to go explore them?

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. The opposite is a sign that the relationship should end. If you need someone more than you love them, it is a sign of dependency, not affection. Find someone where love is the dominant force and you will find yourself in a much more fulfilling relationship.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. Success is not truly success if you had to compromise yourself or your loved ones in order to achieve it. Decide what you want. Design your ideal life and go for it. Do not let any part of that dream slip away in order to get the rest of you will live in regret.

 

Have you asked yourself why watching porn is wrong?

One reason is obviously the impact it may have on your life: the addiction it can generate, the negative impact on your sense of self-worth, health problems it can cause if it leads to excessive masturbation (PIED), etc. If you are a religious person, it is wrong in all religions I know because it is a degrading and selfish activity. Repeating this behavior generates a sense of shame and remorse that saps our energy and prevents self-development in other aspects of our lives.

But from an ethical point of view, beyond religious considerations, why is it wrong? I like to look at this from the point of view of Kantian ethics. The great German philosopher, Immanuel Kant, argued that human beings occupy a special place in the world. In Grounding for the Metaphysics of Morals (1785) Kant argued that morality can be described through an ultimate commandment of reason -- the categorical imperative. Put simply, the categorical imperative tells us that we should act always as if the principle that guides our behavior ought to become a universal law. In other words, if all human beings followed the particular course of action that we are contemplating, what would be the impact on the world? Have you thought about this? Imagine all human beings were dependent on porn. What type of society would we live in? Most likely a society were women would be exploited and mistreated to satisfy the narcissistic desires of men. A place where human beings are measured not by the weight of the values and convictions they hold, but by the attachment to pleasure and desire, by an obsession with body parts. This is not the society we want to live in and this is why NoFap is actual making a great contribution. Kudos to @alexander and the moderators for giving us an opportunity to do the right thing and change our lives for the better.

 

Excellent post Kenji. Thank you!

 

From Moriehi Ueshiba, the creator of Aikido, a Japanese Martial art:

"Always keep your mind as bright and clear as the vast sky, the great ocean, and the highest peak, empty of all thoughts. Always keep your body filled with light and heat. Fill yourself with the power of wisdom and enlightenment".

 

Excellent video Kenji! I had not seen it. Thanks a lot for sharing it.

 

Indeed, Judo became a more efficient martial art than Japanese Jiu Jitsu, but then one of Jigoro Kano's disciples travelled to Brazil and realized that Judo was not effective enough to fight in the streets of Rio de Janeiro, this paved the way for the birth of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. The quest for self improvement requires knowing many martial arts, as the armies of addiction are always waiting for an opportunity to defeat us in our own "ground". With Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, we may be able to submit the enemy in close combat situations when resisting an urge becomes a difficult challenge...

 

Many thanks. I am glad you discovered this thread. I had not been updating it for a while, and so I will post a bit more here in case it continues to be useful.