The Matrix Challenge

My addiction is sexting and captions on girls pic on chatiw. I write dirty meme and jerk to them. It’s not even porn but I spent hours like 8 hours to find 4-5 girls who share their pics semi nudes sometime nudes. Most times they are showing amateur pics from internet but sometimes they show their own. It’s the driving force to make me addicted to it. I caption various themes and wank to them hard. It’s a rut and hell as it takes a lot of time and effort plus edging in middle when a hot girl pic shows up and I caption as per her needs. some needs are extreme: bdsm dominating her, being her cuckold, chastity. Bbc theme, femdom, blacked etc. what can I do to fix it away? It’s the ultimate addiction.

 

I am sorry to say lotus
But this is just an excuse
If something is trapping you
Can't you avoid using it
Is it very important
I know this is childish advice but you seem to be very less interested in NOFAP journey.
If you really know what is pulling you
Can't you just cut all the connections from it
I don't use Instagram but I check the messages by logging in through Google. Instagram has lot of triggering stuff.
I will say, give time to yourself to think what is better for you
You will find your own way to help yourself

 

Sorry I was extremely frustrated to keep failing. It’s my 3rd reset in a single week. It’s my Day 0 today, you are right. I need rest. I have deleted everything already. I don’t know how can I explain but whenever urge arises, I do all the steps such as puting the book on my bedside away slowly into drawer so I don’t see it. Breaking the rule of bringing my phone from table to bed. End up locking the door and hiding in the blanket so my room ambience set for NoFap would not damage my fap. End up into triggers by unblocking the block app. All this I do in less than 30 seconds. However, when I wake up in morning. Simply moving out my bed takes me a long hour despite I know I got work to do. The reason I am explaining here so shamelessly is I kind of want to let out how I behave and break the barrier of my addict self (who does things quickly and evil to get what it wants, how fast this is and severe this is depends on level of addiction) This level of addiction gets worse with time. If you have made this far and read it, I hope it helps atleast one person to stop their journey cold turkey. I am doing this to feel a sense of positivity as I could feel to lift myself up back tomorrow. Sorry guys for such long posts. I know most of you have been doing well here and don’t need it as much as I do. Firstly I am writing this to let myself out.

 

Did you remember just some days back
I have been in the same condition
I was being trapped again and again

What I did after that
I took one day break from other thoughts
I put all the focus on understanding how I am getting trapped
And I got solutions on same day

And solutions is
I don't forget
Why I should not masturbate
And how to fight the urges

These two things are very clear in my mind
And today is 8th day
And I feel strong

Just relax
I don't know why you are having that book which is getting your attention
Lifestyle is everything
And lifestyle develops when we create such atmosphere for it
And atmosphere develops when our mind is very clear that what to do what not to do
It is psychological game bro

 

Just like in the Matrix movie, nobody jumps above the building for the first time. Same is here on Nofap. I had few reboots myself, but as i am slowly strengthening my prefrontal cortex, my streaks are longer with less of triggers.
I remember 2 or 3 days ago i accidentally saw a chick in bikini, if i would be on the beginning of this journey i would reboot certainly. Now it is not the case. I am currently experimenting and testing my current limits. And slowly push it further accordingly. And there should be a big distinction between full blown addiction and a very small p usage. It is not the same.

 

Thank you for sharing your experience with me. It does feel comforting to know people have overcame these similar struggles and move a step ahead. I am immensely overwhelmed by the non judge-mental understanding of my situation. It helps me put things back in perspective. I am tired of this sure but I will fight and learn to fight better. The blue pill tricks us as soon as we reset. I am fighting as I know something’s wrong, it’s like the spinchter in my mind. Telling me that this world is not real. I need to create my own reality but in order to do that I must learn the rules of the system. Some of these can be bend and broken but not escaped. As long as I play the Game, I need to know the rules well so I don’t look at the women in the red dress.

 

When I mentioned about book, that book is kept deliberately at the side table so I use it at night and don’t use my phone which should be on opposite desk table where all electronics are kept. I mentioned that book thing to show that I have taken measures but I do all stuff in 30 sec to even put that book ( religious text) back in drawer. Was frustrated to explain the extent the addiction can get you to. I am feeling better now. I won’t masturbate as my why is clear. I want to be a contributor and not just a consumer in society. Porn is cheap dopamine consumption which belittles the ability of any person and make him less than his true potential and what he can contribute. I will remind myself this when I feel the urge. I would say. Do I want to choose to become less than my true potential? Do I want to spend my time consuming cheap dopamine? Thank you!

 

I will keep trying till I make the jump. Thanks for motivating me. Yes one porn use is not equal to abundance. I have had 3 resets in the week. All atleast 4 hour sessions on chat rooms therefore I was extremely frustrated and disappointed in myself.

 

Day 80

 

I am extremely busy for next 21 days. I will be off the website. Hopefully I will have a 21 day streak when I return. Good luck to everyone!

 

Day 1
"Knowing the path and walking the path is a differeint thing"

 

Day 65 - now I'm Trinity! I spend my time doing crazy jumps through the air while wearing tight catsuits!

 

Day 8

 

Day 34!

 

Good to see progress here guys. Stay strong

Check in

 

Until i update my memes and rank, do you guys know some online service where you can trace the image over the animated gif? So that when animation plays the image goes over the lets say head, and follow its position.

 

I would like to join.

 

Sure, welcome, just check out the first page to see which rank your days corresponds to, and put the information in the signature. Red_John is currently offline, he will give you more details if needed