The "might as well" lie

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by post oak, May 4, 2017.

  1. post oak

    post oak Guest

    Hey guys,

    I started NoFap last September, and while I had a great first month, since then I just haven't been able to gain much traction. Right now I can't seem to go even a full week without relapsing.

    One thing I am struggling with now is the "might as well" problem. Let's say I do an image search for nude pictures, because my brain says "It's not technically porn." But then after I look, I know I have to reset my counter to stay honest with myself. Then my brain says "Well you already broke your streak. So you might as well do some sexting and masturbating while you're at it." And then I end up in an all-out relapse and feel terrible.

    Does anyone have tips or ideas on how I can combat this type of thinking? It's really hurting me right now.
     
  2. J247

    J247 Fapstronaut

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    Create like a swear jar equivalent? You can put a dollar in if you look at a picture, put 5 dollars if you PMO. Doesn't have to be that extreme, but you get the memo.

    And/Or do the opposite of that and create a reward system. For every time you don't PMO, treat yourself somehow.
     
  3. brod2018

    brod2018 Fapstronaut

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    You're peeking and that's the main reason for relapsing. Why are you even searching for nude pics ? Stop finding excuses to look at erotic shit because it will trigger any normal man and you'll eventually end up on porn and relapse.
     
  4. sparkywantsnoPMO

    sparkywantsnoPMO NoFap Moderator & Yeoman
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    The limbic system of your brain (the part egging you on) does not control your actions. It will yell and scream, it will act like an abusive spouse, it will make your life miserable, but it cannot make you look. Stay strong. Usually urges only peak for 30-60 minutes.

    If you do have a slip, don't go past that.

    I'm in the Dante's Divine Comedy Challenge group (see signature) on this site. What's cool about it is that you have mini challenges, and the rules are very clear - you go down a level for every event, not just one a day. In your case, something like that might be encouragement not to fall further.
     
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  5. post oak

    post oak Guest

    @J247 Thanks for the ideas. I'd never heard of a swear jar before, but it seems like something like that could be really effective.

    @brodknighting At first when I read your message I got upset, but now I'm thankful for it. Those are some strong words that I really need right now.

    @sparkywantsnoPMO Thanks, I'll check out DDCC. And yes, I need to remember that ultimately I am in control, no matter what the urges may be telling me.
     
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  6. Yes this is definitely my problem. I'd look at pics of nude women or even clothed women in short shorts or with a lot of cleavage and before I knew it I had completely failed and went into relapse. Basically, we have to avoid anything that can turn us on, including thoughts about sex.
     
  7. sparkywantsnoPMO

    sparkywantsnoPMO NoFap Moderator & Yeoman
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    Also, it's important to know your triggers, and know when you are being triggered. As soon as you recognize you're in trouble, get out of the situation.
     
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