The Mighty That Fell ~ Squeaky Soul's Journal

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Squeaky Soul, Feb 8, 2015.

  1. IGY

    IGY Guest

    10 WEEKS! That is another fantastic effort $uper $ouldier! :D
     
  2. Squeaky Soul

    Squeaky Soul Fapstronaut

    809
    265
    63
    Thanks everyone! I am now 26% to my goal.

    For everyone having trouble with abstinence, there's a certain threshold you must cross. It's really hard in the beginning, but you just to keep telling and believening yourself when you say, "No matter how bad it is right now, I will make it. It will get better!"

    ~SS
     
  3. headedup

    headedup Fapstronaut

    890
    265
    43
    That's sound advice, thanks!
     
  4. NoneForMeThanks

    NoneForMeThanks Fapstronaut

    243
    559
    93
    GOOOOOOOOO SQUEAKYYYYYYYYYY

    I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  5. therealjocab

    therealjocab Fapstronaut

    128
    55
    28
    Good discipline, "You are the captain of your soul"
     
  6. Squeaky Soul

    Squeaky Soul Fapstronaut

    809
    265
    63
    Thanks None and jocab!!!!

    I've had it good recently!

    ~SS
     
  7. headedup

    headedup Fapstronaut

    890
    265
    43
    Congrats on the big 7-7. Maybe that's not a common benchmark, but great job anyway ;)
     
  8. Squeaky Soul

    Squeaky Soul Fapstronaut

    809
    265
    63
    Thanks headedup! I really appreciate your words of support!

    Hey, can everyone see my counter fine? I had my AP private message me tht it had disapeared.

    I have been having some temptation. Two days ago I was researching normal penis size. I am at the point where everything sexual arouses mee, so I don't think it was a good idea to do that... I really wanted to measure my penis, but 100% of the time, after measuring my penis out of curiosuty, I relapse. So, I avoided those ever more dangerous waters. Why was I doing this? Well, I am a little anxious because my penis isn't spectactularly big. In fact, if I remember right it's barely average, if that.

    I am anxious that one day I won't be able to please my woman. I have a feeling that this anxiety might be just temptation in disguise... I have no reason to worry, because I am practicing abstinence. I am only 17, so I am incredibally young to be worry about how sex will go with my wife.

    I think today I will not think about the subject too much...

    ~$$
     
  9. Squeaky Soul

    Squeaky Soul Fapstronaut

    809
    265
    63
    Also, I had a marvelous idea yesterday!!!

    I am going to start rewiring the dopamine pathways in my brain! The dopamine pathways that use to lead me to continuos PMO. So instead of being tempted all the time, I will enjoy staying busy throughout the day, taking part in other fun activities, etc.

    I notice that I haven't been feel such powerful urges, ever since I started getting into working out. I think this might be from my mind associating pleasure to exercising. Because, afterall... I have been enjoying challenging myself during my workouts.

    So, the best way to get over PMO addiction, once you have a month or two under your belt, is to go out there and have fun! Start rewiring your brain faster!

    ~SS
     
  10. Squeaky Soul

    Squeaky Soul Fapstronaut

    809
    265
    63
    Wowzer... 86 days. Haven't been 86 days sober since May of 2014...

    ~SS
     
    headedup likes this.
  11. headedup

    headedup Fapstronaut

    890
    265
    43
    That's amazing, congrats. Are you still getting urges at about the same level and frequency, or have they toned down?
     
  12. Squeaky Soul

    Squeaky Soul Fapstronaut

    809
    265
    63
    It's funny you ask. I woke up with some urges, that haven't really gone away. Just got to keep praying. It was just a little voice in the back of my head urging me to watch some of my "favorite" genres... These urges came out of nowhere. Headedup, maybe it's because I went to confession yesterday??? The devil???

    But wait! Porn isn't fun! It's never fun, and never will be fun... YOU'LL FEEL WORSE WHEN YOU DO IT!

    No matter how bad it is, no matter how bad it gets, I am going to make it!!!

    ~Squeaky
     
  13. headedup

    headedup Fapstronaut

    890
    265
    43
    Awesome man. Stay strong. But yes, it could be any of those things. Ironically, confession can be a pretty big trigger. I've noticed a lot of people, and I myself to an extent, use porn as a reward for good behavior. So if you feel like rewarding yourself for being forgiven, you may get bad urges.
     
  14. Squeaky Soul

    Squeaky Soul Fapstronaut

    809
    265
    63
    I have made it past 90 days!!! Whoop whoop! About three months ago, I took my last PMO!!! I'm done with that shit. And just as long as I stay vigilant, I will always be done with that shit. If I forget my journey, I will fall.

    So, I will be restored to my mightyness once I exceed 278 days...

    278... That number will haunt me forever if I don't do better...

    ~SS
     
    headedup and ThatOneGuy56 like this.
  15. headedup

    headedup Fapstronaut

    890
    265
    43
    Congrats bud, I am so excited for you! You have come so far, and it seems the 92 days have passed so quickly, at least on my end.

    Could you remind me the significance of 278 again?
     
    Squeaky Soul likes this.
  16. Squeaky Soul

    Squeaky Soul Fapstronaut

    809
    265
    63
    I've made a life changing decision...

    I have gone vegan, with the exception of wild caught fish, and humanely raised and slaughtered farm animals.

    What made me change? A documentary called "Earthlings." Please, I urge you to watch it on Youtube! It will change your mind. It changed mine.

    I do think that occasional meat, maybe no more than once a week (if that) is good for you. I think we can blame obesity in America on the advertisement and huge portions of meat people eat daily and the lack of fruits and vegetables.

    And headed up, the significance of 278 days is my longest streak without PMO.

    ~SS
     
  17. headedup

    headedup Fapstronaut

    890
    265
    43
    Interesting, I'll check it out. I don't think your description quite qualifies as "vegan" though lol. Maybe "more conscious of animal products?"

    You will really like this video. As you will see, it has pretty much been scientifically concluded that fructose is to blame for obesity, not meat. It's a rather obvious historical fact that people in many (not all) cultures ate much more meat than we do now, and were healthier. You can argue that this meat was grass-fed, etc., but at the end of the day, it is quite unlikely that meat is the main problem. In general, vegans are healthier because they are healthier. That is, health-mindful people will do things like become vegan, limit sweets/oils, limit portions, work out, get enough sleep, etc. And even putting aside these usual connections, vegans will typically eat less calories per day due to less calorie-dense food. I know I could get a lot of resistance for that comment, but the majority of the sociological and medical evidence points at this.



    If you want a less scientific description of the problem, check out the documentary "Fed Up" on netflix or dvd.
     
  18. Squeaky Soul

    Squeaky Soul Fapstronaut

    809
    265
    63
    I agree 100%

    ~SS
     
  19. Squeaky Soul

    Squeaky Soul Fapstronaut

    809
    265
    63
    So, the "vegan" diet isn't working out so well. I've definitely cut back on meat, and cut back on dairy 100%, but I do keep cheating. The reason I got scared was because I haven't gained any weight. So, I will keep eating lots of fruit and vegetables (They're making me feel amazing, Not feeling sick all the time anymore), meats here and there, and no dairy whatsoever.

    ~SS
     
  20. Squeaky Soul

    Squeaky Soul Fapstronaut

    809
    265
    63

Share This Page