The monster. Mad up story n.n

Im on a normal day and everything is fine ,the sun is shining ,bird's are singing and I'm happy , suddenly it kicks , and takes the controls of my system , i try to stop it with no matter what , but even tougth i know hes intentions , its imposible to stop it , i try to talk him out ,to find a solution ,but suddenly he doesn't listen anymore, i feel dragged apart from people,trying to scream ,from my inside : somebody , save me !!! ,and he shuts me off , suddenly my voice goes off, and there i am, hypnotize ,paralysed ,crying my eyes out , i repeat loudly so he can hear me: you must stop !!. , and suddenly im dragged in, and i can't do nothing ,shame is all that is left , he's gone, and he left me there with anything but shame ,i try to kick my self up ,and try to be alive again , but suddenly i dont have any soul left . to cry is all that i want , i ask god how did this happend ? if i din't want it to happend ... like always , he stays shut . Feel alone with nothing to do ,all the help that i needed suddenly , not anymore ,i stretch my hand for some help and then im dragged in the monster the monster of hell.