The Most Depressing Fapstronaut You'll Ever Hear About

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by justarandy, May 17, 2019.

  1. justarandy

    justarandy Fapstronaut

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    Hello there, I'm a 22 y/o male.
    I've always been on the forums but never really bothered making an account.
    So basically here's my story:
    I've been masturbating since 13 y/o for like 9 years till I hit 22 years old and I've never had a wet dream ever, though I grew a beard. I had the ability to control myself and go on a NoFap journey and it's been around 100 days without fapping, and guess what? Still no wet dreams!
    Many people will cheer me up and encourage my strong will to stop fapping but let me tell you this, this isn't a success story, not for me at least. I'm one of those guys who are almost horny all the time and keep thinking of sex and stuff, I sometimes try to masturbate but stop before ejaculation just so I can fullfill a little pleasure without relapsing, and don't worry I have the ability to control and refrain myself from ejaculating. I don't have a gf to hook up with nor wanna pay for a hooker before any of you offer me the advice of having sex. So it's been a 100 days without ejaculation, and it's horrible, I'd say I'm living a good life but NoFap certainly didn't make it any better because this is how I suffer:
    -loneliness and depression during the ejaculation days because of the addiction
    -loneliness and depression during the nofap days too! And that's because I'm not ejaculating.
    Now some of you will tell me I'm fine and I don't have to ejaculate but let's not fool eachother, a man needs to ejaculate. Since day 1 till day 100, I am still having sexual desires and will always do, and it's been a fight with myself since day one, not sleeping nights because of the urge to ejaculate and it goes on, the fight is on and it is painful and depressing, not sleeping nights because of it.
    Since no wet dreams either (idk wtf is wrong with me) then I guess nofap is pointless, I'm gonna give it another 50 days without fapping and if I don't get a wet dream by then then I'll relapse and be proud of it :/
     
    Cantspeakenglish likes this.
  2. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut

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    Hi randy dude. You make no mention of porn in your intro, perhaps you can say what your history is with that. You do say you think of sex a lot. So, at the very least you are fantasising about sex and/or watching it as you masturbate. :oops:

    The problem you do speak about is edging. Edging is masturbating, but maintaining orgasm control so you do not cum. I can assure you that this is far more damaging than if you were to ejaculate! By your own admission, you are masturbating, so your counter should be not be 100 Days, but 1, 2, or 3 days since you masturbated and stopped before you nutted. What I am saying to you is not my personal opinion. Please read on from this quote by scientist Gary Wilson:


    What if I masturbate (edge) or watch porn without orgasm?

    Some men attempting the rebooting process believe that as long as they avoid ejaculation, they are successfully rebooting. This twisted logic leads them to endorse an unhelpful practice common to Internet porn users, called edging. This is masturbating up to the edge of orgasm, then stopping to cool things down, then revving up again. Three common versions of edging:
    1. Watching porn without masturbating
    2. Masturbating while viewing porn, but not ejaculating
    3. Masturbating without porn and without ejaculating
    Since a reboot is defined as no porn or porn substitutes 1 & 2 make no sense. For those trying to overcome problematic porn use, edging while viewing porn (or fantasizing about porn) is far worse than simply having an orgasm and getting it over with. Why is that? It all comes down to dopamine...

    https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/reb...-masturbate-edge-or-watch-porn-without-orgasm
     
    Gonarth, Xen, Jefe Rojo and 1 other person like this.
  3. justarandy

    justarandy Fapstronaut

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    First of all, thank you for the response and help, much appreciated.
    I like porn yeah but I'm not addicted to it. It's more because of Instagram and social media, like, you can't deprive yourself of those, and a sexy picture could pop up infront of you anytime on such social media. And even worse when you have kinda a sexy girl that you talk to and tryna hit up on and fantasize of having sex with her before you sleep.
    So what I'm getting of your response is that I can't even touch my junk, is this the hard mode you guys speak of?
    Also I'd love to know how edging affects both: testosterone levels and wet dreams.
    Rumours say that when you masturbate and ejaculate, it will lessen the chances of having nocturnal emissions and will drop your T levels, is this correct? And what's the case for edging?
    The link you sent talked mostly about the pyschological view of the edging not mentioning its effect on T levels and dreams
     
  4. Hros

    Hros Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, know that it's incredible that you made it to 100 days. Keep up the good work!

    As I was reading your post, I kept wondering: Why do you want to have a wet dream so much? I have them a lot and they're horrible: If they're a result of a PMO-related dream, then great (not), that means I haven't been controlling my thoughts enough. If I can't recall any PMO-related dream, then what did I do to "deserve" this? I'm left confused.
    Because wet dreams aren't any fun. Instead of feeling any sort of release, you'll feel drained, perhaps weak, sometimes even depressed.

    I realized as I finished reading your post that you sorely miss the O part of PMO. It's therefore important that you try to stop thinking about it and concentrate on other aspects of life. If you keep thinking about it, there's a good chance of relapse as your mind will eventually reach a kind of breaking point. Concentrate on other things in life, concentrate on moving forward and you'll feel much more fulfilled in life.
    Good luck!
     
  5. justarandy

    justarandy Fapstronaut

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    Wet dreams are a sign of healthy body, and eventhough they'll drain and weaken you, wake you up in the middle of the night to clean the mess, still worth the reward of ejaculation, worth the orgasm.
    I don't know if I can continue and go on without thinking of sexual desire, at the end of the day we are sexual beings, we were born for this, it can't be taken away from us and expect to live a "happy and fullfilled" life.
     
  6. Hros

    Hros Fapstronaut

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    You can, if you try. Learn to refocus yourself.
    While that may be, it doesn't mean it's supposed to consume you. We're also challenge-oriented beings - we're constantly facing challenges that demand we grow and overcome them. This is another challenge. A very hard one as we all know, but still a challenge. Letting desire for physical release consume you clearly isn't helping, is it?
     
  7. justarandy

    justarandy Fapstronaut

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    Yes it's not helping as much as not releasing at all
     
  8. Cantspeakenglish

    Cantspeakenglish Fapstronaut

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    Hi man, don't think that having a wet dream would be impossible to you. Because I've ever been at the same situation like you that I'd never had a wet dream for almost 18 years. You know, it's so depressing, like what is wrong with me? And 22 days ago, I decided to do this nofap challenge. I didn't know that I could get a wet dream until this happen to me when I reached two weeks nofap. It's so surprising me :eek: (the dream is not good anyway, I still want the better one lol). After analyzing it, I can conclude that the secrets are: 1. I didn't really care about my p--I was so busy to study to prepare my final exam (maybe I got tired), 2. I didn't stimulate it just like playing with it or touching too much because I think playing with it will reduce the senistivity of it and hard to get a wet dream, 3. No watching porn or masturbating--even it didn't make you orgasm, 4. Just don't worry about wet dreams because it naturally happen on your body.

    I'm so inspired that you can hit 100 days. I hope that you can go with the next 50 days. It's a really good job anyway!
     
    justarandy likes this.
  9. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    As discussed above this is edging. Edging is not consistent with a journey of healing. Edging trains your body to require ever longer times of ever increasing physical and mental stimulation to reach O. Eventually, PIV won't provide the stimulation (mental or physical) that your body requires for O; PIED and DE happen. Nothing good results from edging, so stop kidding yourself that you can "fulfill a little pleasure without relapsing" Repeatedly Edging is a relapse.

    Whatever effects edging has on T levels and dreams really is not important. What is important is that edging CREATES physical and mental problems that interfere with O, especially O's from PIV. If THAT isn't important to you ... well ... I don't know what to say.

    But maybe you are addicted to P-subs ? Some seemingly innocent sites end up being P-subs. "hitting up on a sexy girl" on social media isn't exactly a good thing for someone trying to refrain from MO. And yes, you can live without I-gram and other social media. People lived long, healthy, fulfilling lives before such things existed, and many still do just fine without these electronic activities. If these are P-subs for you, or are causing you to have thoughts you don't want, why not just get rid of your social media access / accounts ? It won't kill you.

    As much as we are alike, we are all different. Some have wet dreams, others have none. Both are healthy. If your body needs to have a wet dream, it will. If your body doesn't need to have a wet dream, it won't. Both are normal, both are fine, both are healthy.

    You may want a wet dream for the O; that is understood. You don't need one to be healthy.

    So....

    Borrowing (and paraphrasing) the words of @bike-wrench: Nobody ever died of being horny.

    Go be healthy and stop worrying about whether your body knows how to take care of itself with or without wet dreams; it does !

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
    Hros and justarandy like this.
  10. justarandy

    justarandy Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the response. Yes I do care about O's from PIV, amd this is mainly why I want to stop along with wanting to have wet dreams and just live a normal life as well as saying a good bye to my hand for good.
    And since yesterday I started a hard mode journey, gonna try my best to keep it this way. I wanna see the results and maybe have a wet dream so I can orgasm in peace without stressing over abstinence, and without stressing over MO addiction.
    As for the P-subs part, I do go on Instagram as a normal dude who just wants to surf the internet and be socialised with friends and not solely for the purpose of seeing hot chicks, I don't think I'll ever refrain myself from using Instagram but I'll try to ignore posts that would in any way remind me of MO.
    When I said hitting on a girl, I meant a real one, you can say a close friend but we do have these kinda stuff between us like adult humour, sharing mutual fantasies, she even allows me to touch her butt and body, so this one's a bit challenging to overcome, I have to have more self control, which I do in front of her, but would fantasize her sometimes in my thoughts and a couple of times in my dreams.
    Finally, yes I am aware of having or not having a wet dream doesn't mean the body is unhealthy, but it's one way to orgasm in a natural way that the body accepts.
    I'm gonna fight edging, and see what happens. Thanks again!
     
  11. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    Good decision about avoiding edging. Keep us posted of how you are doing.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
    justarandy likes this.
  12. justarandy

    justarandy Fapstronaut

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    Update:
    First wet dream, after 100 days with edging couldn't have a dream, but after 8 days without MO and edging i got a dream.
    Thanks NoFap community, gonna continue this way
     
    Tao Jones likes this.
  13. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    Be careful about potential chaser effects. And hopefully you meant to say "after 8 days without PMO and ..."

    and continue to stay away from edging.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
  14. Always be positive

    Always be positive Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to the community :) this will help on your journey

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/watch-this-if-youre-struggling.232140/

    You also need to know if you feel low energy and no benefits of nofap its not becouse of nofap, those things can lead to that too:

    Not drinking enough water
    Eating unhealthy every day
    Not enough of sleeping
    Not living the best possible life you can live

    I watched people who done nofap for years and when people tell them nofap doesnt working for them they tell them it may be becouse of these things, after they changed that they felt all nofap benefits

    Nofap will do whats its in own power, but those things can also lead to no confidence, no energy, you cant blame everything on nofap

    Hope this helps :) good luck
     
  15. justarandy

    justarandy Fapstronaut

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    What's a chaser effect? Please enlighten me
     
  16. justarandy

    justarandy Fapstronaut

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    That's true, one gotta stay healthy, NoFap is a part of a healthy life but food, water, exercising, sleeping also play important roles. Thank you!
     
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  17. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    This is from the "Glossary" available at the top of this page:

    Chaser Effect: The super-charged desire to masturbate that sometimes hits 1-3 days after sexual acts. Especially powerful early on in a reboot

    Sorry - I should have sent you the note below earlier:

    If you haven't already done so, please read the "Getting Started Guide" available on this site's home page. It includes a lot of information that you will find helpful as you start your journey of healing. Also have a look at the "Glossary" on the top of this page for definitions of abbreviations and terms that may be new to you.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
  18. justarandy

    justarandy Fapstronaut

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    Thank you I'll make sure that I read them, also I'm not facing any problems with the healing process, when I say I wanna prevent myself from PMO, it means that I will. But idk for how long I should stay like this, whole my life? Until marriage? Like when does someone stop the NoFap challenge?
     
  19. Human v2.0

    Human v2.0 Fapstronaut

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    IMO, you're not completely clean, edging is even worse than O! Also, watching porn will only make you keep thinking about women. And finally, your brain must be feeling like sh*t if you're just playing with him, making him think he's getting a girl pregnant and them *boom* nothing.

    Also, you should try speaking to women and getting some of them on bed, because noFap means no PMO, but sex is not out of the table, and no one ever said we don't need sex. Go and have some, don't hire a hooker, just talk to women.
     
    justarandy likes this.
  20. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    There are lots of different views on whether the noPMO journey ends and what and how to proceed on your journey. Nobody can really answer for you; you have to make your own decisions about what is right and good for you.

    Most folks can agree on one thing: the P part of PMO is a significant problem. There is nothing good, beneficial, or redeeming about P. Nothing ! So, get rid of P from your life: permanently. Why complicate your life with something that does nothing but harm ?

    About M, and MO ... there are definitely differences of opinion about whether it is OK or not, and if done, what is an OK frequency and a whole lot of folks can, and do, have strong opinions about the subject. Read about what others say and decide what is right for you.

    Go make some good decisions about what is right for you.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
    justarandy likes this.

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