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the nice guy syndrome

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by BettaM32, Nov 8, 2017.

  1. BettaM32

    BettaM32 Fapstronaut

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    I'm curious after starting to read a book called No More Mr. Nice Guy, how many people on here that use PMO and consider themselves having the same problem being too nice to others. Its always bothered me and I'm hoping to gain a lot from the book. Anyone else have the same issue?
     
  2. I lack assertiveness, but I don't think that I'm really that nice of a guy in general.
     
    Hitto and Asgardian36 like this.
  3. I had some of those issues. I would always try to make sure I didn't hurt anyone, and expect something in return for helping or doing good to others.

    I've learned to become more assertive now though. It feels good to be that way.
     
  4. Sterling Archer

    Sterling Archer Fapstronaut

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    this book is awesome it help me to know what i was doing wrong and how to fix it and i kind make me feel better after reading this book you become your self .

    and by the away it work with girls
     
  5. UKSD

    UKSD Fapstronaut

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    I've read the book twice and the things mentioned in the book are amplified by no PMO. It makes you realise how important you are and how assertive you should be to get what you want. The book is amazing, just make sure you implement the actions logically and pragmatically. People will fight you with resistance due to the change but stand strong and stick by your guns.
     
  6. firstcaptain

    firstcaptain Fapstronaut

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    I've read parts of it. I think it's a good book that needed to be written. I think it describes a common condition that affects lots of men, and provides lots of actionable advice. I don't agree with everything, but there are parts I found very helpful. One big takeaway for me was that it helped me articulate an unwritten script I was living by, that "If I am nice to others, others will be nice to me."
    The truth is, you can't control the actions of others. People don't owe you anything.
    That was a hard lesson for me to learn -- to get over a a sense of entitlement to fair treatment.
    But I think Dr. Glover speaks a bit absolutely about people who do things for others from a place of emptiness, what he calls caretaker caring. He says that people who do things for others from a place of emptiness always have some sort of strings attached, that they are doing things in hopes of receiving love or attention, since they themselves are destitute of it. That was definitely true for me. He encourages people to find fulfillment first before they try to serve others. Which I agree with. However, of course, it'd be great if I could always be on good footing and do things for others from a place of abundance. That definitely is a better option. However, even when I am down, hopeless, and empty, I hope I still try to serve others, without expectation, because it is the right thing to do.
    I think of Abraham Lincoln, a very melancholic man who struggled with depression his whole life. He chose to serve others as a public servant, not because he wanted love and affection from the masses. He had given up on happiness from himself. He served because even though he had no hope for himself -- he had hope that he could improve the lives of others.
    https://www.amazon.com/Lincolns-Melancholy-Depression-Challenged-President/dp/0618773444

    -firstcaptain
     
  7. FormerFapaholic

    FormerFapaholic Fapstronaut

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    Can I just ask something? What is the title of the book, and who's the author? So I can look on Amazon for myself...
     
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2017
  8. Sterling Archer

    Sterling Archer Fapstronaut

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    the title is "No More Mr. Nice Guy"
     
  9. FormerFapaholic

    FormerFapaholic Fapstronaut

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    Yes, but who's the author of the book?
     
  10. UKSD

    UKSD Fapstronaut

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    FormerFapaholic likes this.
  11. UKSD

    UKSD Fapstronaut

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    I also have Mobi, Epub and PDF formats if you want a free digital copy for reading on phone/kindle/computer.
     

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