The nice guy syndrome

[modern milarepa]

An old friend from school texted me, asking me if I know a good psychologist. He wants to break up from this girl he is been 6 years now. They girl has depression and they are no longer together since 2009. He is a film director and also a nice guy. He has allowed the girl to live in his house all this time even after the break up. He tells me she is attached to him and he wants to help her, he has given her many advices and talked to her to change her thinking and now the only solution according to him is for him to move a to give her the house and to find a good psychologist to help her to keep growing.

The guy wasted his youth, peace of mind and beautiful country house for a girl. He suffers from ego, the ego of the nice guy. We as men we love to fix, to help. But you cannot help a damage girl, it is beyond your abilities and if you think you can, then you are full of yourself just like my friend and you have to suffer for it.

Conclusion: you can’t save her.

 

[modern milarepa]

It is more his choice she is not asking anything he just wants to do it.

 

[p1n1983]

An old friend from school texted me, asking me if I know a good psychologist. He wants to break up from this girl he is been 6 years now. They girl has depression and they are no longer together since 2009. He is a film director and also a nice guy. He has allowed the girl to live in his house all this time even after the break up. He tells me she is attached to him and he wants to help her, he has given her many advices and talked to her to change her thinking and now the only solution according to him is for him to move a to give her the house and to find a good psychologist to help her to keep growing.

Typicall nice guy that is willing to sacrifice his own life for other people.
He already broke up with her.. just move on with your life, don't let her drawn you with her. Is her own job to fix her issues. If she is not willing or doing anything to fix it, is her problem, not his.

People who move in with a girlfriend or boyfriend don't realize this, they think it doesn't mean anything.

I don't agree with this. It just means you are living together. You are choosing to live together, but it doesn't mean that is an agreement for life.
People that are great together, stick together. People that don't end up breaking up eventually and following their own path. Been with a person for the rest of your life that is making your life miserable just because you decided to live together or have a kid is the worst thing you can do.

The quality of your life is totally related to the people you share it with, so choose wisely.

I would totally support my girlfriend if she is experiencing a bad moment, but if she is doing nothing to fix it then I would definitevely break up and move on with my life and don't let her bring me down with her.
If a ex is having issues.. it's her problem, not mine. I would definitevely suggest her a good psychologist and cut any interaction with her.

 

[Deleted Account]

I feel like I need to read this until I believe it.

My last girlfriend I was trying to fix.

After the breakup I listened to the song 'don't save her' like 50 times.