The ONE thing you need to realise to beat Porn.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Thechosenone, Jul 30, 2016.

  1. Thechosenone

    Thechosenone Fapstronaut

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    Porn, masturbation, edging, porn substitues all end up INCREASING your sexual frustration after use.

    That's it.

    The feeling after you just orgasmed from watching porn is of frustration! You've spend time stimulating yourself, your brain thinks its real sex....then boom! You orgasm and you're left with your johnson in your hand, in a mess and frustrated! It's not really sex!

    The more sexual imagery you consume and the more you stimulate yourself the more youre frustrating yourself out for not engaging in real sex - simples!
     
  2. Thechosenone

    Thechosenone Fapstronaut

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    If you can embody this common sense fully then you'll realise you can't fap or watch porn!
     
  3. Thechosenone

    Thechosenone Fapstronaut

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    Literally whenever you fap all you're doing is reminding yourself that you're not having real sex
     
    INSANE SMART WARRIOR likes this.
  4. icanrockmylife

    icanrockmylife Fapstronaut

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    It's not about that. Excessive real sex ain't good as well. The purpose of nofap is to completely shift a person's mindset to stop thinking about women/sex all the time.
    If you quit PMOing but start looking for women none stop or even call a hooker in real life, you are still the loser you used to be, just in different forms.
    The real purpose of nofap is the slogan of this website - "get a new grip on life". Nothing says it better. It's about being determined, disciplined and completely change your innerself.
     
  5. Jodo Kus

    Jodo Kus Fapstronaut

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    Let's face it: sexual stimulation feels good. Most of all when you have strong cravings. Take subs: it's enough to see some curves or so to turn you on like crazy, or even just your fantasy. It feels so good to go on with looking at those subs or to continue fantasizing (even if you keep it at a low level), it feels good to touch oneself and go on...
    That's why we can manage to stay away from porn but still edge without O for hours.

    You're right @icanrockmylife, it's about stopping to think about sex all the time and about getting a new grip on life. But during Reboot (and probably even after it) we can't distract us all the time, a better life style won't save us all the time.
    Therefor I think we have to accept and embrace the pain involved.
    The words "Learn to love withdrawals" (courtesy @WilliamOneAndDone) coin it perfectly.

    Nevertheless, even if we can't avoid pain and hardship, there are so many tricks. I think what @Thechosenone proposes is a great visualization. Of course to read it here alone will not stop you from relapsing. But when you get to the point where you really believe it or where it's just omnipresence in your mind, it can give you the power to stop escalating. I guess that's how it worked for Thechosenone since he's been clean a long time.

    Here I have to think on another quote: "Thinking about sex is useless". It's from "My Thoughts On Rebooting" and I will post the entire passage:


    QUOTE

    Thinking About Sex is USELESS

    What's the point of fantasizing?

    It accomplishes nothing.

    It slows down the reboot, increases the urge to masturbate, and reinforces neurological pathways related to porn.

    It's a meaningless activity that should be eliminated.

    It keeps your mind focused on sex, tits, asses, fucking, when it should be shifted towards other activities in life.

    If you find yourself thinking about sex, you should mindfully and calmly redirect your attention to something else.

    You want sex?

    Great.

    Then do something to actually make it happen.

    Fantasizing by itself serves no purpose at all.

    You need to understand that if you want to abstain from orgasm and masturbation, you cannot be thinking about sex and women, because this will inevitably cause you to relapse. Trying to abstain while at the same time fantasizing or peeking at pictures of chicks will only lead to frustration.

    Stay away from any kind of artificial stimulation. Don't take peeks. Don't browse pictures of girls online. Don't type pornstar names on Google image search. Don't read escort forums.

    Do not arouse yourself.

    Basically you have to adopt a philosophy of "I'm either trying to get laid (approaching, texting girls, going out on dates, flirting with women, hanging out with friends, getting rejected) or doing something completely unrelated to sex (work, studying, exercise, fun, reading, playing an instrument, chores, housework, watching movies)".

    There is no grey area where you are alone thinking about sex or checking out girls online. This accomplishes nothing. It serves no real purpose. It will only increase urges, lead to relapse, and make you frustrated.
    As soon as erotic thoughts pop up in your mind, you should calmly ignore them and refocus your attention to something else. You keep practicing this forever until you master it.

    [...]

    It's actually harder to stop yourself from relapsing once you're already thinking about sex, than it is to not think about sex in the first place.


    UNQUOTE


    From my POV this doesn't have to be the mindset for life, but it's the ultimate mindset for Rebooting.
     

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