The only reason why you are going to lose is that you pissed me off

Deleted Account · Aug 26, 2019

I will write my thoughts down when I feel afraid or anything like that.
So I can see them and get angry at them and not myself.
To see how much I suffer from procastination. In order to watch my thoughts from a distance to understand how wrong and emotional driven they are.

I don't want to start because It's so much. I know what do to but I don't want a change in my life because I am scared

I am not disciplined enough

I say I am going to do things but after I said it I don't want to do it anymore

Why can't I overcome this procastination once and for all

Why am I not brave enought to keep going even if I don't feel motivated

I can't beat procastination with my feelings (at least that's what I think) maybe logic and planning things can do it.

I need to risk and keep going...

I think too much about all these thinks. I waste 70% of my day.

The moment I want to start doing the change I keep stopping

Robinthehood · Aug 26, 2019

Hi. What you are writing there sounds honest, painfully honest, that's not easy to write. I really know what you mean, I have experienced similar things.

You mention bravery and being scared, how about telling yourself you love yourself, you care for yourself. You are your own best friend, always there for yourself. What comfort might you need, or is missing from your life to be able to make and succeed with these sacrifices and hardships?

Not disciplined enough? You have 22 days already, you made it that far, you have the discipline.

That 70% of your day you spend thinking about what you want to change or do, isn't wasted. It's very important, sounds like s good use of your time, to me.

Change is scary, going into the unknown, on your own. The hardest thing in the world, for sure. But you started, so take your time, reduce the pressure on yourself. Take it easy. It's clear you want these things, to make a success. So it will happen.

I also am aware of aspects of myself that annoy me, I wish I was different in some ways. But I am changing them. It can be frustrating when I feel an old feeling that I don't like, and sometimes I get angry with myself too. But it's all fear, anger is fear. I fear not changing, or not changing enough. Being stuck forever in a loop of activity or patterns that I fucking hate, but I know I wont be because I'm working hard at changing and never going back.
One thing I do now that I never did before is talk kindly to myself. When things feel the darkest, I give myself a pat on the chest, tell myself I'm going to look after myself, there's nothing to worry about. It will be OK. I can do it.

All the best my friend.

Deleted Account · Aug 26, 2019

Robinthehood said: ↑

Hi. What you are writing there sounds honest, painfully honest, that's not easy to write. I really know what you mean, I have experienced similar things.

You mention bravery and being scared, how about telling yourself you love yourself, you care for yourself. You are your own best friend, always there for yourself. What comfort might you need, or is missing from your life to be able to make and succeed with these sacrifices and hardships?

Not disciplined enough? You have 22 days already, you made it that far, you have the discipline.

That 70% of your day you spend thinking about what you want to change or do, isn't wasted. It's very important, sounds like s good use of your time, to me.

Change is scary, going into the unknown, on your own. The hardest thing in the world, for sure. But you started, so take your time, reduce the pressure on yourself. Take it easy. It's clear you want these things, to make a success. So it will happen.

I also am aware of aspects of myself that annoy me, I wish I was different in some ways. But I am changing them. It can be frustrating when I feel an old feeling that I don't like, and sometimes I get angry with myself too. But it's all fear, anger is fear. I fear not changing, or not changing enough. Being stuck forever in a loop of activity or patterns that I fucking hate, but I know I wont be because I'm working hard at changing and never going back.
One thing I do now that I never did before is talk kindly to myself. When things feel the darkest, I give myself a pat on the chest, tell myself I'm going to look after myself, there's nothing to worry about. It will be OK. I can do it.

All the best my friend.
Click to expand...

thank you for your words.
I made a decision: F*CK FEELING READY! F*CK THE THOUGHT "I WANT TO IMPROVE" F*CK TALKING ABOUT CHANGING AND
HOW MUCH I WANT IT! F*CK ALL OF IT AND F*CK ALL THE THOUGHTS THAT MADE ME THINK I NEED TO CHANGE!
I am sick of "all this overthinking". My simple answer to my doubts will be "NO!"
When my thoughts are: "You need to change before you can start because when you are ready then you will do much better."
my answer: "NO! If I try to improve and find a matching strategy I will just end up procastinating and then I will think even more about how I need to improve to even manage the bigger problem. So my answer is clear NO! SHUT THE F*CK UP I WILL START NOW EVEN IF I DON'T HAVE THE BEST POSSIBLE STRATEGY OR STRUCTUR! I CAN DO THE STRUCTURE AFTER I UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM ACUTALLY DEALING WITH!

F*CK CHANGING I WILL DO MY SHIT AND LEARN AND IMPROVE BUT NOT BEFORE I STARTED TO F*CKING DO THINGS!
NO TO IMPROVEMENT BEFORE BEGINNING! NO TO STRESS! NO TO FEAR! NO TO "YOU NEED TO DO THIS IN ORDER TO BE SUCCESSFUL WITH ANYTHING" NO! THIS IS MY F*CKING WAY! I AM SICK OF LISTENING TO THE DEMANDS OF MY INSECURITIES! NO!

Excuse my langauge

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The only reason why you are going to lose is that you pissed me off

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